deadbeat

deadbeat

Member
Sep 9, 2020
89
I feel like my situation is forcing me to ctb, but I want to at least give life a shot first. I'm 23 years old, and I have really severe social and general anxiety. I have never gotten a photo ID, I've never tried learning how to drive, I've never tried getting a job or going to college. After I graduated high school I've just stayed in my comfort zone. My family is unsupportive, and even though I clearly need help they don't seem to care. I went to therapy throughout my high school years, but they've never put in any effort in trying to understand my illnesses and why I act the way I do, and how they can better support me. I just feel really stuck, I want to enjoy my youth and do things that "normal" people my age do but I feel like I might be too far gone. How do you even begin to recover when you're stuck so fucking deep and no one in your life gives a shit?
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
It sounds difficult for you at the moment. I think it might be good to try taking small steps to make improvements to your situation, because it sounds like you can be easily overwhelmed and, as you say, just stay in your comfort zone?

Also, you need to try to give a shit about yourself if no one else will because only you know yourself and what you're going through. This is also important if you want to try to gain more independence in the future.

I struggle with anxiety too so understand some of the issues involved in trying to figure out just how much of a 'normal' life you can have. You may have to accept that some things you cannot overcome or you might have to find different ways of doing things.

I hope you can find way through, day by day.
 
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Miss_Takes

Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Dec 4, 2020
452
Im really sorry that you are experiencing such extreme anxiety. I have some experience with anxiety personally but not at your extreme.
The things Ive always found most helpful in managing my anxiety have been small practical steps ... using things like exercise to exhaust the hormonal surges particularly before undertaking anything that I know will be a trigger ... skipping is particularly helpful with this as its intense, requires a level of concentration and focus and, unless your pretty fit, is quick to bring a level of physical exhaustion that can assist in managing surges. If tour fit and the skipping itself isnt enough I suggest trying to do times tables while skipping .... sounds ridiculous I know but worked for me to take the edge off.

I would also suggest getting your testosterone levels tested if youre male as lowered testosterone can impact anxiety levels.
 
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TriggerHappy

TriggerHappy

In the kingdom of th blind; the one-eyed are kings
Jan 24, 2021
1,298
my (limited) understanding - you're not alone...
the amazing thing about the human spirit is that it is powerful beyond measure: magic teaches us that if you set your Mind and Will to something you will achieve it.
[Do what thou will, an it harm none, that is the whole of the Law] the world is full of people who have everything / lose it all / & then get it all back. (personally: I want off this tilt-a-whirl existence - am tired) It's attitude - positive things happen to positive people etc From someone who has had it all, to lost it all (knew my way; lost my direction) know that:
  • You can accomplish whatever you wish (find the way)
  • You must not take advantage of opportunities granted (they are limited)
like them Hansel Gretel kindertjies: children:- beware what you wish for; for your wishes may come true...
Whatever you choose to focus on (& manifest) may it truly be what you want.
 
aneurysm

aneurysm

Mage
Jan 27, 2019
584
Id
I feel like my situation is forcing me to ctb, but I want to at least give life a shot first. I'm 23 years old, and I have really severe social and general anxiety. I have never gotten a photo ID, I've never tried learning how to drive, I've never tried getting a job or going to college. After I graduated high school I've just stayed in my comfort zone. My family is unsupportive, and even though I clearly need help they don't seem to care. I went to therapy throughout my high school years, but they've never put in any effort in trying to understand my illnesses and why I act the way I do, and how they can better support me. I just feel really stuck, I want to enjoy my youth and do things that "normal" people my age do but I feel like I might be too far gone. How do you even begin to recover when you're stuck so fucking deep and no one in your life gives a shit?
idk where in the world you live, but I'd recommend to get a job, save money and leave to a chiller/poorer country. Like somewhere in Africa or Asia. The presence of the people in these countries is healing to the soul. They are organic humans.

you could find an online job or whatever to sustain you. Or even get a job in one of these countries (would be easy if you're a westerner, since they worship westerners...)

Of course it's one of those things that's easier said than done...
 
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netrezven

Mage
Dec 13, 2018
515
What I keep saying to myself and always works is : stay the fuck out of comfort zone and don't confuse comfort with lux.
 
clueless2dayor2morro

clueless2dayor2morro

Member
Feb 19, 2021
41
hey there, i feel you on the social anxiety aspect of things.

but i think one of the less helpful things you can do is compare yourself to what others are doing--to a certain extent. college honestly isn't worth jack shit; i would recommend either a trade or even taking an interest in turning hobbies into some sort of income. this could either be through starting a store, displaying it online (either through photos or even making videos or following video tutorials). or you could start off at a community college and most of the time the bigger universities in the area will transfer these gen. ed credits pretty cleanly. (although make sure your first time at uni after comm. college, you do well because the gpas get a little weird).

it can be hard, especially when you are starting out or struggling with the idea of competency or motivation. like i sometimes i give up pursuing or starting things because i think "whats the point? i'm not any good at this and i feel lost". and i don't know if you struggle with these kinds of thoughts too. sometimes you can power through them and sometimes you'll struggle with them. i'm not very good at powering through them myself these days.

i also struggle with the whole ability to drive a car too. One parent barely knew how to drive and the other only taught my oldest siblings how to drive and my oldest siblings never trusted me with driving to not kill them in practice driving/they didn't have the time. the point is, if you don't have someone to teach you it becomes way harder to get the skills to get a driver's license. i don't know what country you're in, but here in US the knowledge portion is the easiest part but the actual driving part is hard when you haven't practiced or had anyone to teach you. its an expensive option, but there are driving schools. i would suggest that after you've amassed some savings to put towards it.

but if the anxiety is crippling, maybe i would suggest doing some shadow work or asking and investigating yourself what situations give you the worst anxiety and what situations are uncomfortable but do-able. for me, if i have to talk to a "superior" or get asked questions where i perceive it as a "high stakes" situation then i feel that's when my anxiety is worse compared to if i'm outside, walking by myself and listening to music in daylight. but then again, it's probably different for you and maybe all situations put you into a crippling state of anxiety. that's ok, and there shouldn't be any shame in recognizing this.

either way, i hope things get better for you.
 
kovkay

kovkay

Experienced
Jun 29, 2020
245
Andrew Huberman, a Stanford neuroscience professor did a podcast about anxiety.



He starts the actual podcast around 10 minutes in. I haven't watched the whole thing, but his other podcasts are superb.
 

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