N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,993
I think I am subservient. Probably a little bit too much. This is the way I was raised. I always tried to make it right. Though the punishment of my mom was that arbitrary that it fucked me up hard. I think this is why my limbic/nervous system is fucked up, maybe it is hypervigilance. I am daily in a constant stream of anxiety. It is really hard to cope with. I am always scared to feel this pain again. The extreme psychosomatic pain that I experienced as a result of agitated depression which was very counterproductive. It increased my anxiety even way more.
I have problems with autothority figures. I think pretty big ones. I use very formal language when I am talking with them. I try not ot break the law so that I have no issues with judges or policemen. I cannot remember when I spoke the last time to one of them.
My parents are no more authority figures for me. Now that I am an adult due to the fact they were extreme morons I am rather the one with reason who has to experience all of this because they misused their power.
I was kind of subservient to teachers and professors. Even more with professors due to all their titles. I kind of envy such titles. Lol. I will never get one. I was always so extremely scared of getting punished from them. This was one of the main reasons why I developed severe OCD. This OCD made me even more an easy target for bullies. I don't know I sometimes thought I might have had a Prussian education. I am extremely disciplined, very subserviant, conscientious. Though I am not into military lol. When I was a teenager I thought maybe the way I was raised made more resilient. This is absolutely not true quite the opposite. I am extremely fragile due to this abuse. It is a good recipe to ruin someones whole life if someone gets treated like that. There are no real benefits.
Do you struggle when you have to interact with authority figures?
I have problems with autothority figures. I think pretty big ones. I use very formal language when I am talking with them. I try not ot break the law so that I have no issues with judges or policemen. I cannot remember when I spoke the last time to one of them.
My parents are no more authority figures for me. Now that I am an adult due to the fact they were extreme morons I am rather the one with reason who has to experience all of this because they misused their power.
I was kind of subservient to teachers and professors. Even more with professors due to all their titles. I kind of envy such titles. Lol. I will never get one. I was always so extremely scared of getting punished from them. This was one of the main reasons why I developed severe OCD. This OCD made me even more an easy target for bullies. I don't know I sometimes thought I might have had a Prussian education. I am extremely disciplined, very subserviant, conscientious. Though I am not into military lol. When I was a teenager I thought maybe the way I was raised made more resilient. This is absolutely not true quite the opposite. I am extremely fragile due to this abuse. It is a good recipe to ruin someones whole life if someone gets treated like that. There are no real benefits.
Do you struggle when you have to interact with authority figures?
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