Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
I know one advice is to not compare yourself to others (easier said than done), but what if you're mostly comparing yourself to the high standards you have of yourself?

This is crippling my life.
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
I try to tell myself that it could always be worse. Example: I did some exams a couple of months ago and I'm hoping to get distinctions in them both, but if I get merits instead I'll try to view it as "oh well, it's better than a pass."
 
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FTL.Wanderer

FTL.Wanderer

Enlightened
May 31, 2018
1,782
Especially in a culture that measures whatever it can of you--weight, IQ, reflex speed...--from the time you're born, that's tough. Doubly so because we're egoists. My 2-cents...
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
1. Determine Who You Feel Inferior To

Instead of stopping at the realization that you have an inferiority complex, push through and figure out who you feel inferior to in the first place. Be as specific as you can in narrowing this down, and consider not only people you know but also celebrities and even imaginary concepts (e.g. "the perfect wife" or "the amazing renaissance man").

If you find it difficult to figure out who you are comparing yourself to, consider the following list of types of people who most frequently inspire inferiority complex:

Very physically attractive people
Rich people with lavish lifestyles
Smart people with multiple degrees
Those who have impressive, dynamic careers
Funny people who have large social groups

Once you have a better sense of the kinds of people who make you feel inferior, try to pick out specific people in your life who exemplify those traits.

Next, for each of these individuals, find at least one thing that you have and they don't. There will be something!

2. Stop Worrying About What Others Think

Disconnecting from the perceived judgments of others is one of the most important things you can do to destroy an inferiority complex. After all, the bulk of such complexes come from obsessing over what other people think of you. Sometimes this will relate to things people have actually said to you, and at other times it will be all about what you imagine they think.

At the end of the day, only your opinion of yourself matters. Plus, research shows that when we feel good about ourselves, others feel better about ourselves in response.

So, how do you stop worrying about other people's views?

Firstly, focus on what makes you happy. What brings passion, joy, and fulfillment into your life? When you're spending time on this, you'll spend far less energy on worrying about what other people think.

Secondly, try to remember that others are typically too concerned with their own appearances to devote much thought to negatively evaluating you. Similar to the 'it's more afraid of you than you are of it' in regards to phobias, often people are just as worried or insecure as you are.

3. Build Your Self Confidence

When you learn how to feel better about yourself, this increased security will begin to make you feel worthy (rather than inferior).

There are many moving parts to the process of building self-esteem, but we'll canvass a few of the major factors:

Treat yourself better. When you do this, you cement subconscious beliefs that you are valuable and worth taking care of. Are you exercising regularly, eating well, and getting enough sleep? If not, work to build these aspects of self-care into your life.
As mentioned above, you'll also feel better about yourself if you're living an authentic life, doing what you truly love. Ask yourself what's holding you back from that, and make a plan to defeat those obstacles.
Act confident. Project a deeper sense of self-worth, watch how others buy into it, and notice the feedback loop that actually creates more confidence in yourself.

Make a list of ten things you like about yourself, and pin it up where you'll see it every day.

4. Self-Talk

The term "self-talk" refers to how you speak to yourself in your own mind; the words you use, the tone you imagine, and the origins of your inner critic. This internal voice has an enormous impact on how you see yourself and your actions. When it's negative, it feeds an inferiority complex and a sense of self-loathing. And when it's positive, it encourages you to see yourself as worthy and helps you to sustain happiness in the longer term.

What you need to do is locate negative self-talk, eliminate it, and replace it with self-affirming talk.

There are different ways to approach it (some of which form the foundation of cognitive behavioral therapy), but an affirmation-based one is easiest to do at home. Try writing down some of the cruel and undermining things your inner voice says, then write down positive alternatives. Recite those positive affirmations daily, ideally into a mirror.

5. Surround Yourself With Positive People

Finally, it's vital to recognize that your inferiority complex may be linked to the people you spend time around. Perform an inventory of your social circle, think about your interactions with family members, and consider how you get along with colleagues.

If you identify people who actively try to bring you down, who don't reciprocate your caring behaviors or who draw you into unneeded drama, start thinking about how you can distance yourself from these individuals. Consider completely removing toxic people from your life in order to surround yourself with positivity.

To develop better self-esteem and a more positive sense of your identity, find people who build you and support you. Nurture the friendships in which reciprocal listening, kindness, and responsibility are present. And if you feel like your life currently lacks these sorts of positive people, today is the day to go out there and start trying to find them!
 
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E

Exile

Predator, criminal, emotional blackmailer
Jan 28, 2019
181
I know one advice is to not compare yourself to others (easier said than done), but what if you're mostly comparing yourself to the high standards you have of yourself?

This is crippling my life.

Ask yourself where these standards come from in your life and whether the reasons for believing them are still valid. It's good to have standards - how about having a higher one for how you get treated by yourself and others?
 
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T

TheLastStraw

Member
May 10, 2018
55
Everyone is going to portray themselves in a positive light, usually there is a lot more to the story in the background you don't get to see
 
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azucaramargo

azucaramargo

Enlightened
Sep 16, 2018
1,010
I know one advice is to not compare yourself to others (easier said than done), but what if you're mostly comparing yourself to the high standards you have of yourself?

This is crippling my life.
I hope this answer isn't too simplistic (and it's quite possible I just don't have as high of standards for myself that you do), but I have also felt crippling inferiority. Antidepressants have helped with the crippling aspect of those feelings.
 
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mattwitt

mattwitt

# 978
Jun 28, 2018
2,307
I don't know if this will help you or not Volatile. They had this posted right above one of the hand dryers at the health club I went to on and off for 25 years so I have probably literally read it 1000's of times.

8621
 
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Soon4me

Soon4me

Enlightened
Jun 15, 2018
1,591
Sometimes i feel inferior when i read your posts,they are so amazing and i wish i could be like you.
 
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justabouttobedone

justabouttobedone

No Longer Human
Feb 21, 2019
72
Inferiority complex is destroying me too. People always say "not compare yourself with others, try to find a good trait that you have and they don't, stop looking at high places and be thankful to what you have" etc. They just want you to fool yourself. They are fooling themselves everyday by doing so too (if they are not the type of person that are skilled but trying to help people who feel inferrior without seeking any profit, but I think they are very rare). People with inferiority complex usually don't have skills or have some sort of skills but cannot use them for some reasons, and they are well aware of that situation, so they feel inferior. Sorry for being pessimistic, but I feel in this way.
 
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1

18yearold

Member
Mar 5, 2019
8
I have huge problems with this.
I'm naturally obsessive and my lifelong obsession is to be as good as I can.
It might sound great, but it isn't. In my case, I have pathological perfectionism.
That, combined with huge expectations for me (Being a gifted child in a problematic family) has deteriorated my self-steem too much.
 
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reveriewong

reveriewong

Member
Feb 22, 2019
61
You already know that you could be better than what you are right now. That's humility and it's honest.

Prioritize what it is you'd like to improve in yourself. Be realistic. Take small, realistic steps to get to that.

Now, choose one thing you'd like to work on and start working towards it in small, incremental steps.

Hopefully that helps.
 
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I

interim

Member
Feb 25, 2019
38
I just realize that I'm inferior in an inferior world, which can be actually seen as the most normal thing...
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
Just suck it up and live with it, I guess. Said strategy has worked well enough for me, except for the part that maintains my self esteem. Or the part that helps me complete daily tasks. Or the part that lets me integrate properly into society - you know, on second thoughts, this doesn't seem to be working all that well.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
I overcome it by thinking that I should go inside a mental asylum or thinking that they should pay me a small fee to keep me alive. If I don't work I'm making a favor to others. Because I'm slow, ignorant, childish, without energy to do things right, and many other things. So ... better keep me inside my flat without talking to anyone. That's the way i overcome it. But I would suggest to listen to other people with more constructive ideas.
 
throwaway123

throwaway123

Hell0
Aug 5, 2018
1,446
I know one advice is to not compare yourself to others (easier said than done), but what if you're mostly comparing yourself to the high standards you have of yourself?

This is crippling my life.

You don't. You just try to stop yourself from thinking about it. There are only two options. Distract yourself or better yourself and the latter isn't for everyone. Certainly not for people like us.
 
M

Marawa

HereButNot
Dec 30, 2018
249
This might sound trite, but your only true competition is your younger self. Some people will become billionaires & some on skid row & even if you feel "I'm better than that guy cause he's homeless" you aren't because you have no idea what lead them to that life 99% of the time.
if you are working to improve yourself every year, no matter how small & can see the improvement, your winning. if you find yourself in the same spot your cheating yourself because no one is keeping track of you thinking you're inferior to them. it's you feeling that way. Your younger self is your only competition.
 
reveriewong

reveriewong

Member
Feb 22, 2019
61
Take it day by day. Are you a better person than you were yesterday? If not, what is something you can do, and are willing to do, to make yourself more of the person you want to be? If so, what is still something you can do to better yourself?

Look for qualities in others that you like, qualities that are beneficial to have. Emulate them.

One day at a time.
 

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