Venting How do you muster up the courage to do it?

[Specific_Milk]

How do you delude yourself to the point where your brain just says fuck it and truly don't care about anything anymore? My biggest problem is that when I get the chance to attempt again, I worry that my brain will still have things it cares about which would prevent the plan from being fully executed. I'm not worried about SI and the physical aspect of it too much, it's just that emotions are a b*tch. How does one overcome that?

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that many people just get so determined to permanently escape from this existence and they manage to succeed as they have access to a method that they feel confident in. I envy those people as suicide really is too unnecessarily difficult.

 

[hevlalab]

I think it gets to a point where someone just hits rock bottom and truly doesn't care anymore. To some, another whole day is worse than a few moments of pain until it all ends. For me, I tried to hang myself 2 times. First time I set everything up perfectly, put my head in the noose, ready to kick the chair but I just wasn't able to bring myself to. I chickened out. Told myself "it's fine, I can just do this tomorrow". So I got down and went to sleep instead. Never got the chance to do it again, my parents found out and hid the keys to the garage where I tried to ctb. Until a few months later I had access again and set up everything I needed. My body was shaking profoundly. Then it was too late as I heard my dad coming home from work. I regret not taking my chance the first time. It was the perfect setting. It was early in the morning, I could see the sun starting to rise, my family were asleep so no one would know and try and stop me. But I just didn't. Now I'm on the lookout for SN or considering buying opioids on the dark web instead. I'd rather now not scar my family with the image of my body dangling in the air.

 

[UKscotty]

All the people who can tell us how to overcome SI are gone.

It's ironic as we live in a time where there are so many great methods that are so cheap, easily accessible and information is abundant. The main barrier is that damn survival instinct.

Closest I have come was once when I was very drunk, angry and high, but brain still saw clarity and stopped me at the last moment.

I did consider once like trying to really mess things up, walk out of my job, spend all my savings, take out loans, carry out some crimes etc. Then I thought better of it.

 

[KillMeh]

((For me it's not so much about coursge as it is about strength. In order to kill myself, I gotta clean my room, talk to some people, pick a date and stick to it. As little as it sounds, there's an extreme resistance to all of that, but I can't go with leaving a mess. So I guess idk how to not give a fuck, myb if I did I wouldn't want this in the first place.))

As for worrying about not executing it, I've never attempted before, but I'm gonna burn my bridges step by step so when I'm sitting with my murky cup, there is no other place to go.

It's kind of nice that you have things you care about, even a tiny part of your life was myb nice, I'm glad. It's your decision and it's a tough one. I can't really relate on leaving valuable moments since my self hatred is blinding at the moment. I think it might be more difficult for you, I'm sorry you're stretched. Myb it would help to think that if you do it, all of the nice things you've been a part of are not gonna get erased. Idk. Hope you find peace wherever you're going.

 

[garrypallister99]

I think ctb should happen when it comes a point where you truly don't care about anything anymore, if you still care enough about stuff to the point of not following through, then maybe you should stay and give life another shot