How do you manage daily tasks while depressed?

[fsociety]

Hello community!

Somehow I feel like a lot of people here are still live at home or don't work, just living into the day, maybe I'm wrong!

But for those who work and have an appartment, bills to pay, cook for themselves etc. How do you manage all of that?

Beside going to work depression consumes me and I don't do anything that isn't necessary… My apartment is a mess, everywhere Pizza cartons, dishes, plastic trays from microwave food because that's the only thing I can handle (putting something into the microwave 10min and eat). I was a good lover before depression but now imagining standing in the kitchen with no 100% distraction like scrolling through my phone seems like a torture.. Taking showers (I don't really need to because I'm a male nurse and work alone with 80+ year old people, so they don't care), brushing teeth at least once a day because I'm scared to get tooth pain again. Beside work I just lay around and scroll my phone…

The weird thing is: I can work, so shouldn't I be able to do some household chores when I can work? But every task not necessary is too much for me. I need some fucking discipline..

 

[card1nal]

As much as I hate when people say this, genuinely start by not scrolling on your phone and/or giving yourself a time limit. I have ADHD and one thing I struggle with is doomscrolling for hours as a form of dissociation. Once I started giving myself time limits or supplementing scrolling with another activity when I felt the urge, I already felt more productive, even if I wasn't doing shit lol. Your brain gets tiny, constant hits of dopamine when scrolling, so you kind of need to train yourself to not feel the need for it.

I still listen to music or have a show playing in the background while doing tasks so I don't feel understimulated, but it does take some work pushing through that urge to scroll on your phone. You just have to be patient.

But, just out of curiosity, do you think there is a possibility of you being autistic or ADHD? Speaking from experience, executive functioning is something I struggle with, even when I am not depressed. If my day has been emotionally taxing, or overstimulating, or if I've had a lot of social interaction, small tasks that normally would be easy feel 10x harder, like trudging through mud. If I am in burnout or shutdown, it's the same except it is 24/7. It feels very similar to major depression. If you think it is a possibility, you may need a different approach!

 

[KillingPain267]

The weird thing is: I can work, so shouldn't I be able to do some household chores when I can work? But every task not necessary is too much for me. I need some fucking discipline..

No, this is normal. Work is likely mentally draining enough, so any other chores is too much. Depression is extremely exhausting. As for me, I cannot work. The most I can do is go to the therapist and doctor, and even that is mentally draining to me.

 

[dinosavr]

I had the exact same issue which made me incredibly guilty and unable to admit I actually do have depression - being able to work and later in the day, not doing anything productive at all. My room has been a mess for over a year. I clean it once a week or two when it already smells too bad to fall asleep. And what I think helped me the most was first of all - meds, and also - asking for help. My friend helped me clean the mess I had here so that at least I had some basics like clean wardrobe or desk. It became a lot easier to put my clothes back in the closet when there was some space available for them.
And slowly, step by step, I try to find solutions for keeping my room clean with the lowest possible effort. I bought a separate trash bin for my room, I turn on alerts for when I have to water my plants, I threw away my carpet and excessive pillows which made it harder to do my bed. I also bought more pants and socks so I can do my laundry less often and not have to use the same underwear for a week or so. And many more.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you!!!

 

[derpyderpins]

poorly

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I have the same issue, juggling both work and maintaining my daily life. I have low energy so it's hard to do everything I need to live a "normal" life. I know this isn't in recovery but since you specifically asked, here's what I do:
I've accepted that I can't keep up with other people, and I try to just do what I can. I break up tasks into small parts: "I'll just get dressed," "I'll just declutter three things," etc. and I tell myself that at least that's something instead of nothing. This way I at least sometimes get things done, and that helps me feel less useless.

 

[wastingpotential]

my anxiety goes hand in hand with my depression. if i go a full day without focusing on a task i know i have finish my anxiety won't even let me sleep at night. my day feels wasted afterwards as well. overall not the best feeling so i try manage as much as i can

 

[Enga]

The weird thing is: I can work, so shouldn't I be able to do some household chores when I can work? But every task not necessary is too much for me. I need some fucking discipline..

That's the biggest mystery for me too. I can work normally but when I come home I just lie in bed.
I buy prepared food and just microwave it.
I launch robot vacuum cleaner once a month because I can't force myself to overwatch him not getting entangled in wires.
And I take out trash more or less often, once a couple of days, because I need to go to work, so I might as well take a garbage bag with me.

 

[floating_cloud]

I can't unless I really need to.
I live alone, so I don't have anyone to help me. My apartment is a mess too, and the only time I actually clean is when it becomes too messy and unlivable
For food I either don't eat or just door dash it when I'm really hungry

 

[lamargue]

i keep my needs minimal. it's tolerable, but difficult. i'm pretty fortunate however to be young and able to limit my needs. i don't know how i was able to handle working in the past.

 

[Kavka]

I don't think it's a lack of discipline. It may sound strange at first, but I think it makes perfect sense. Going to work is reinforced (enough) to continue, whereas the other behaviours are not.

Reinforcement can be positive (e.g. you feel rewarded/good about your work) and/or negative (e.g. you go to work because you want to avoid being fired). When you're depressed, the 'threshold' for experiencing positive reinforcement is higher (i.e. nothing feels rewarding, especially cleaning) and there are no big negative consequences (yet) for not cleaning.

The (expected) reinforcement value (both positive and negative i.e. avoiding something negative) aren't high enough compared to the alternative (scrolling on your phone), so according to the matching law, you choose the option with the highest reinforcement value and the least effort.

Feel free to ignore this unsolicited advice, as I ignore it myself all the time, but it might help to look at your behaviour through this lens.

You could try to shift the balance a bit and make the chores as effortless and enjoyable as possible. Break them down, combine them with your favourite music or a podcast, and then "reward" yourself with something you (still) kinda like. You could even use (guilt free) scrolling on your phone as a reward because it's your preferred behaviour (Premack principle).

I know from experience that this is easier said than done and I rarely follow my own advice. Depression really is a vicious feedback loop where not doing things makes you feel more depressed, which in turn makes it even harder to experience positive reinforcement.

 

[cloud99]

poorly

Yep. Thats why we here

 

[Daryl72]

Hello community!

Somehow I feel like a lot of people here are still live at home or don't work, just living into the day, maybe I'm wrong!

But for those who work and have an appartment, bills to pay, cook for themselves etc. How do you manage all of that?

Beside going to work depression consumes me and I don't do anything that isn't necessary… My apartment is a mess, everywhere Pizza cartons, dishes, plastic trays from microwave food because that's the only thing I can handle (putting something into the microwave 10min and eat). I was a good lover before depression but now imagining standing in the kitchen with no 100% distraction like scrolling through my phone seems like a torture.. Taking showers (I don't really need to because I'm a male nurse and work alone with 80+ year old people, so they don't care), brushing teeth at least once a day because I'm scared to get tooth pain again. Beside work I just lay around and scroll my phone…

The weird thing is: I can work, so shouldn't I be able to do some household chores when I can work? But every task not necessary is too much for me. I need some fucking discipline..

I can't manage well at all. Between severe depression and OCD , all I can.do most days is just lay in bed and think of ways to end this miserable existence. I know thisisnitngod,but I can't find a way to break this cycle and fighting everyday just to too try and eat has worn me out to a point where I simply don't want to go on any lomger. I just wish I had something, anything to help me end it all ASAP.

 

[Dark Window]

For me personally, if I have chores to do I try to get the done early in the day before I settle down and procastinate

 

[Xta4Love]

I have severe depression and ADD among other things. I get nothing done. I rely on friends. Been like this for over 5 years. It is a never ending cycle. Im glad if I showered