How do you guys cope with moment to moment existence?

[beseechgod]

Asking for those of us who are simply waiting for death and need to take care of ourselves and manage our lives enough that things don't get continually worse for us until we die. I have given up on life but I can't bring myself to attempt ctb so I just have to wait till I die. So how do people in this situation cope with the waiting period? Drugs, alcohol, self-induced spiritual psychosis?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Lots and lots of distraction. I usually have something on in the background. Music, films, podcasts.

I have to work but, I'm freelance so, I need to be super strict with myself. Perhaps fortunately, I still have a deep fear of failure and letting people down so- that usually makes me do stuff to meet deadlines. No matter how reluctant I am.

Where I fail spectacularly is domestic chores. I hate them all and I'll put up with living in a mess. I'll prioritise just about everything else over tidying/ cleaning. Sometimes I have to neglect it but, it's lazyness too. Most days though, I'll have a few 'must-do's' as in- I must do them even if I do nothing more.

This place is a massive comfort for being able to vent. Food tends to pick me up and I usually have some alcohol before bed to numb me a bit.

 

[beseechgod]

Lots and lots of distraction. I usually have something on in the background. Music, films, podcasts.

I have to work but, I'm freelance so, I need to be super strict with myself. Perhaps fortunately, I still have a deep fear of failure and letting people down so- that usually makes me do stuff to meet deadlines. No matter how reluctant I am.

Where I fail spectacularly is domestic chores. I hate them all and I'll put up with living in a mess. I'll prioritise just about everything else over tidying/ cleaning. Sometimes I have to neglect it but, it's lazyness too. Most days though, I'll have a few 'must-do's' as in- I must do them even if I do nothing more.

This place is a massive comfort for being able to vent. Food tends to pick me up and I usually have some alcohol before bed to numb me a bit.

Thanks friend. Glad to see you've found ways to manage.

 

[LowLevelChimp]

I just keep trying a day at a time, keeping in some sort of routine, I can't work due to health and other external factors but I can work on my addiction recovery a lot which does mean some social contact which helps.

It isn't easy to keep my mind in a good place but I agree with @Forever Sleep that distraction helps a lot, I have a fear of people and can't trust many people because I've been so often hurt so I'm often alone. Music, YouTube and my dog keep me grounded.

My life can be hard but I do know that others have it much tougher and I try to help if I'm capable but I'm not always in good condition so it is just day to day living, recently I've been feeling a lot of dis ease and have been planning, which is never good.

I lurk here a bit, but don't often contribute due to fear but these are my thoughts.

 

[purplhrtsInHerEyes]

alcohol and sleeping, when i have the occasional energy i pursue some sort of hobby that also doubles as a distraction.

 

[FuneralCry]

I suffer as I lack the way to painlessly free myself from it all, I'm always wishing I could just simply choose to cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again as I find it deeply undesirable to exist and always will do no matter what, more than anything I wish I was never forced to suffer in this existence I always saw as the most terrible, tragic mistake, just being conscious in this existence is such a torturous, futile burden to me and it's one I never would have wished for. I'd always prefer to painlessly cease existing than suffer so unnecessarily in this reality where there is no limit as to how much agony one can feel just to be tormented by old age, I suffer from existing as existence itself is the ultimate problem to me, simply just existing is enough to make me wish for the peace of never suffering again, to me personally existence truly is an abomination that causes endless amounts of cruelty, I never should have been burdened with this existence.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

It's so hard. It's really hard for me right now. I am going through something that I have terrible anxiety about, but what really makes it hard is that I have been rejected by a bunch of people and I don't know why. The best I can tell is that someone blamed me for something and is spreading rumors, but no one will tell me to my face. People who I'd thought of as friends are staying away from me. I have one person I can talk to but they have other things that keep them busy. I'm not someone people want in their "group" so I've been been pretty isolated (and my social anxiety made me isolate myself even further) but I did have a few connections. Now I'm just hanging on as best as I can. I don't drink and don't have access to drugs. The one person I have helps keep me going, also writing posts on this forum. I hope every day that I'll die, though.

 

[attheend13]

Asking for those of us who are simply waiting for death and need to take care of ourselves and manage our lives enough that things don't get continually worse for us until we die. I have given up on life but I can't bring myself to attempt ctb so I just have to wait till I die. So how do people in this situation cope with the waiting period? Drugs, alcohol, self-induced spiritual psychosis?

All of that. Weed alcohol lots of sleeping pills, learning to cry in the car or in the shower where it doesn't get heard. Sometimes self harm when the rumination gets to be too much. I dull the constant ache and wait for the next day hoping that it's true you can die of a broken heart.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't have any coping mechanisms. All I do is suffer horrifically in existence, that's it. There's nothing that I can do. I have no control, no autonomy

 

[divinemistress36]

Doom scroll the internet all day and eat my feelings

 

[TheHolySword]

I don't. I suffer day in and day out without recourse. Every second of every day my mind is filled with death and despair.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I don't. I suffer day in and day out without recourse. Every second of every day my mind is filled with death and despair.

Same

 

[beseechgod]

All of that. Weed alcohol lots of sleeping pills, learning to cry in the car or in the shower where it doesn't get heard. Sometimes self harm when the rumination gets to be too much. I dull the constant ache and wait for the next day hoping that it's true you can die of a broken heart.

I hope I can die of a broken heart too

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I languish in bed, reading about suicide on the internet about 90% of the day.
At least once a day I write a despondent message to my wife, it's a bad habit I will overcome when I ctb.
I look at porn. It no longer brings any pleasure, but it kills a bit of time.
I smoke weed occasionaly, it helps me feel even worse about myself and experience entirely new forms of mental anguish.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I do not know how to cope, i hope one day it Will be a bit easier to do it but for the moment is simply impossible to cope and each day is a torture. I often think about something that create suffering then i feel detached and the thought disappaear as if the amount of suffering was so intense that I was no longer able to experience it entirely and so i become numb. For the moment, except when i'm sleeping i only find a bit of relief reading some very dark manga with stories of miserable live. I prefer to read that kind of book because every production that talk about dreams and succesful life Just remind of my own condition and it contrast drastically. I do not know who i am anymore.

 

[Liammm]

I just don't think about existence. I distract constantly until it is time to sleep. Rinse repeat.

 

[Overwhelmed52]

I play a lot of Tetris, and I'll have TV or maybe a podcast on in the background. I'm dealing with major anxiety right now, which means I am frozen from doing anything productive (except some things I have to do), but when I was just dealing with depression I bought some second-hand books and studied things I wished I worked harder on in school.

 

[failureofahuman]

Music, porn, on internet and phone too much

 

[Pryras]

Alcohol and anything that will keep me asleep as long as possible. Sleeping through most of the day is how I cope

 

[Life interrupted]

I used to take sleeping pills to sleep most of the day. Now that I can no longer get them I go out for long walks or drink alcohol to numb myself when I'm too depressed to leave the house

 

[Tortured_empath]

Escapism, work, music, nicotine, commuting

I used to take sleeping pills to sleep most of the day. Now that I can no longer get them I go out for long walks or drink alcohol to numb myself when I'm too depressed to leave the house

What pills did u take?