How do you go on?

[Eleanor]

Hi, I'm kinda new here. Hope I'm posting this in the right place.

I'm Eleanor and I suffer from depression. This is my fourth depression and I honestly don't know how to go on with my life anymore. This depression has been going on for about 15 months and the last 8 months, after my boyfriend broke up with me, it's been really bad.

I've tried different types of medicine and therapy en have been in a psych ward for a month, but nothing seems to help. I just can't continue with my life now my boyfriend has left me. He just walked out the door, told me he loved me and that he would see me the next day. Then the next morning he texted me it was over. We'd been together for over 3,5 years and lived together for over a year. Things had been difficult, but we'd talked and agreed that we couldn't live without each other.

After he broke up with me, he refused to talk to me. And now, 8 months later, we still haven't spoken in person. He simply refuses to. And apparently it's all my fault, but when I ask him what I did wrong, he doesn't answer me. I've been ignored by people all my life, and he was the first person I ever really trusted. I really thought we had a future together. And he knew about my history, yet he treated me the same way.

And now I honestly don't know how I am supposed to recover from this. As far as I'm concerned, CTB is the best option, but for my mom I want to have tried everything before I give up on life.

Do you guys have any tips or ideas? I'm glad I found this site, it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I hope you are all okay, and thanks for taking the time to read my (long) vent.

Eleanor x

 

[Sensei]

Hi, I'm kinda new here. Hope I'm posting this in the right place.

I'm Eleanor and I suffer from depression. This is my fourth depression and I honestly don't know how to go on with my life anymore. This depression has been going on for about 15 months and the last 8 months, after my boyfriend broke up with me, it's been really bad.

I've tried different types of medicine and therapy en have been in a psych ward for a month, but nothing seems to help. I just can't continue with my life now my boyfriend has left me. He just walked out the door, told me he loved me and that he would see me the next day. Then the next morning he texted me it was over. We'd been together for over 3,5 years and lived together for over a year. Things had been difficult, but we'd talked and agreed that we couldn't live without each other.

After he broke up with me, he refused to talk to me. And now, 8 months later, we still haven't spoken in person. He simply refuses to. And apparently it's all my fault, but when I ask him what I did wrong, he doesn't answer me. I've been ignored by people all my life, and he was the first person I ever really trusted. I really thought we had a future together. And he knew about my history, yet he treated me the same way.

And now I honestly don't know how I am supposed to recover from this. As far as I'm concerned, CTB is the best option, but for my mom I want to have tried everything before I give up on life.

Do you guys have any tips or ideas? I'm glad I found this site, it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I hope you are all okay, and thanks for taking the time to read my (long) vent.

Eleanor x

Welcome to the forum, Eleanor. I'm sad that life has forced you to come here, but at least you're among friendly and compassionate people.

I'd like to emphasize that I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist. That said, it doesn't sound like you suffer from normal depression. You say that you've had four depressions, that neither therapy nor medication help, and, implicitly, that you have problems interacting socially. This sounds very much like bipolar disorder II. I suggest you take a look at this: A Guide to Bipolar Disorder. If it fits you, you should discuss it with your counselor. If you're bipolar and don't get treatment, it will get worse.

 

[Moreofthesamepain]

One day....sometimes one hour at a time. I have major depression and it never really leaves me. Especially in these times.