Hi! Sorry for postin so much, but I was wondering how you guys get over guilt? Especially over someone saying you did something you didn't. I feel this deep feeling in my chest that doesn't sit right. I know the labels they threw at me don't fit, but i'm still essentially trying to make the shoe fit. what if i was horrible and abusive? what if I really was a terrible friend? :(
How do you get over the fear and fact that you've been misconstrued in others eyes?
I'm gettin a lil too vulnerable on this site-
The aspects of ourselves and how we view others and their words especially when it leaves wounds and trauma are usually things you avoid about yourself because it's easier to shift blame.
If you're fearful of what others have claimed about you, and you're 'making the shoe fit' then that means you're being introspective which is a good start.
I would suggest that you think about what you're capable of and what you've done with your relationships with people, we typically want to preserve our friendships and relationships but usually end up squandering it through the same means unfortunately.
This applies to everyone, so it applies to all those who have labeled you as horrible, abusive, and a terrible friend. The fear you're feeling isn't misconstrued but a manifestation of another's projection towards you, or your projection towards them and it's hard to integrate these feelings for all parties.
I'm not sure about your circumstances, but everyone is capable for themselves and to that extent you shouldn't allow other people's words to take away the sovereignty you hold in your own actions and feelings.
Face your fear, think about why you're afraid and how much another's view affects you. It can be one of the ways to actualize yourself.
