NonsenseTrash

NonsenseTrash

Student
Jan 19, 2020
158
I am trying. I am trying to keep going, but the constant mental and emotional pain is getting to me. The constant dread. The constant thoughts like I am the worst human on earth. I have been looking for an answer for so long to keeping myself from sinking, but I can't seem to keep my head above water. How do you guys continue?

I have goals and a future that I want to see. I just dont know how to reach it. My therapist seems to think I'm making progress, but seeing my functionality deteriorating, I have a hard time believing it. It feels like I'm sinking with no way out.

Any tips you have to relief from the demons in your head would be really helpful!

Thanks in advance!
 
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porfin1234

porfin1234

Arcanist
Dec 26, 2019
476
Singing, dancing, try to connect with people that are a positive influence. Nature helps too.
 
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F

Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Hormone replacement is significantly helping me. You have to find a private specialty place for this though and it can be spendy. You will need testosterone. It's the only thing that has helped in years wish I could have started many years ago even when young. I might have had abnormal hormone function even when young. Also a program called virtual EMDR online has helped feel better when I have lots of uncomfortable, difficult feelings over stuff.
 
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intheweeds

intheweeds

Student
Mar 20, 2019
182
Being in nature & exercise are the only things that have helped me personally.

Small steps. Get outside and walk a minimum of 30 minutes a day and be consistent about it. It goes by quickly especially if you're listening to music or an audio book. You'll notice a huge improvement in your mood almost immediately.

Isolation just fuels anxiety & depression.
 
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NonsenseTrash

NonsenseTrash

Student
Jan 19, 2020
158
Hormone replacement is significantly helping me. You have to find a private specialty place for this though and it can be spendy. You will need testosterone. It's the only thing that has helped in years wish I could have started many years ago even when young. I might have had abnormal hormone function even when young. Also a program called virtual EMDR online has helped feel better when I have lots of uncomfortable, difficult feelings over stuff.
I am a female, so I don't think testosterone would work well for me. I have tried EMDR therapy in person, and I still am not sure how I feel about it. I don't think I gave it enough of a try.


Being in nature & exercise are the only things that have helped me personally.

Small steps. Get outside and walk a minimum of 30 minutes a day and be consistent about it. It goes by quickly especially if you're listening to music or an audio book. You'll notice a huge improvement in your mood almost immediately.

Isolation just fuels anxiety & depression.

Singing, dancing, try to connect with people that are a positive influence. Nature helps too.

Nature is a good one. I haven't been able to be around nature much lately, seeing as I live in a city. I might try to find a park nearby or something. I just get overwhelmed trying to walk around in the city. Too many noises and too many cars.
I have a hard time connecting with people. I isolate hard when my depression and anxiety come online. But, I think I am getting better at reaching out more, even if its online, lol.
 
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Final Escape

I’ve been here too long
Jul 8, 2018
4,348
Testosterone is not just for men, I guess many women don't realize or we are not told that we need testosterone, just not as much as much of it as men do. Low testosterone in women leads to depression, lack of energy, brain fog, anxiety, but instead looking into this doctors will just prescribe antidepressants. I'am a woman and before the testosterone I couldn't get moving till like 11 am but now Iam able to think clearly as soon as I get up in the morning. My drive is back to do things. When I go to the gym it's much easier and I'm not easily wiped out after.
 
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nonamegirl

Student
Jan 6, 2020
183
Being in nature & exercise are the only things that have helped me personally.

Small steps. Get outside and walk a minimum of 30 minutes a day and be consistent about it. It goes by quickly especially if you're listening to music or an audio book. You'll notice a huge improvement in your mood almost immediately.

Isolation just fuels anxiety & depression.

Not for everybody. I tried it and found it made no difference in my mental state.

Personally I use:

ASMR videos
Laying in my bed with my eyes closed.
Mild yoga.
Cooking

That helps me a little bit, but I still would rather die then live.
 
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Final-push123

Final-push123

Internet wizard
Jan 28, 2020
91
What keep me going is videogames and good food. It not much but it keep me trucking on
 
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iknowwhatyouredoing

iknowwhatyouredoing

something inside turned the lights out
Jan 30, 2020
29
playing guitar is the only thing that keeps me going
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,441
Ok, my methods are fucking stupid but they work for me.

1) take a good dump. I'm talking about the kind that makes you feel 5kg lighter. I go to the bathroom once in two-three days and not every day for this effect.

2) somewhat related to the first - every so often go buy an enema and use it. Incidentally, I discovered this effect because I took too much fiber in and became somewhat constipated. The second that cannonball left my body, it's like Jesus came to me in person to deliver a blessing.

Edit: Google opened my eyes to the stupidity of humankind. I'm talking about regular saline enemas. People apparently shove coffee up their asses.
Also, don't overdo it. Once a month or so. The human body is fucking stupid and you may get actually addicted to those things to the point you can't shit unless you do an enema first.

3) in your phone set four timers: 15, 30, and 45 minutes.
Next, find a nice, long, straight street. I'm talking the kind where you can walk forward with very little bothering.
People don't count.
If your "FML level" is low, take the 15 minute timer and start walking. Just go forward, you're not going anywhere in particular other than forward. Once the timer rings, turn on your heels and go home. 30 minutes for medium and 45 for high "FML level" respectively.
For emergency FML level set one for an hour and a half. That one is for when shit hits the fan.
During these walks pay the world absolute minimal attention, you need to care for two things: not walking into somebody and not getting hit by a car.

4) just walk more. I got SweatCoin - a sort of step counter thing that "pays" you for walking. I find it satisfying.

5) roll cigarettes. Helps me pass the weekend because I literally have nothing better to do. I make roughly 400 cigs on a weekend.

6) set up and use Habitica. If you have a gamer personality, having a MMORPG quest log type thing helps getting shit done.

7) get obsessive about the cleanliness of your living area. I'm trying (and failing) to declutter my apartment again. When it wasn't looking like a hoarder's den, i was genuinely happier. The effect is noticeable.
 
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charlie_z

charlie_z

Student
Apr 30, 2018
184
You know, you sound very bright. It's devastating not being able to stop a racing mind. This has been my dilemma for the last couple of weeks. I confess that sometimes I just give in and allow to be hurled around by my thoughts. But there is something that has given me a little relief at the most meanest hours: acceptance.

You just have to accept all that shit in your head, let it wash over you, and then come back to strike you even harder. There then comes a moment when, although the pain is still there, you find you've made peace with all the shit. And it becomes a, "well, yeah, it just is" thing. If you give it a go, let me know what you thought. Also, you may want to look up this woman, Pema Chodron. I'm not sure if that's how her name is spelled, but she has some interesting things to say about "Surrender" as well. Good luck.
 
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Hexen

Hexen

Student
Aug 12, 2019
135
I kind of find relief in small things. Walking in forest, eating, building muscle(also good if you are angry), playing some good video game or watching something. Whatever helps you escape reality and not get very emotionally invested helps. As much as some of these are helpful, they are also bad because you slowly become a drone that is also avoiding own problems and thoughts.
 
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NonsenseTrash

NonsenseTrash

Student
Jan 19, 2020
158
You know, you sound very bright. It's devastating not being able to stop a racing mind. This has been my dilemma for the last couple of weeks. I confess that sometimes I just give in and allow to be hurled around by my thoughts. But there is something that has given me a little relief at the most meanest hours: acceptance.

You just have to accept all that shit in your head, let it wash over you, and then come back to strike you even harder. There then comes a moment when, although the pain is still there, you find you've made peace with all the shit. And it becomes a, "well, yeah, it just is" thing. If you give it a go, let me know what you thought. Also, you may want to look up this woman, Pema Chodron. I'm not sure if that's how her name is spelled, but she has some interesting things to say about "Surrender" as well. Good luck.

I kind of find relief in small things. Walking in forest, eating, building muscle(also good if you are angry), playing some good video game or watching something. Whatever helps you escape reality and not get very emotionally invested helps. As much as some of these are helpful, they are also bad because you slowly become a drone that is also avoiding own problems and thoughts.
I ended up trying this last night. It was painful, but I rode it through. I found it difficult to just sit with it.
I have recently started working on practicing mindfulness and mindful walking lately to try to ride out the thoughts. Its really difficult to do though. I can understand the concept of mindfulness. Being mindful of your mind, body and thoughts and accepting them for what they are. But its so hard, especially accepting them, and not putting in any action to fix.
 
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Hexen

Hexen

Student
Aug 12, 2019
135
Ok, my methods are fucking stupid but they work for me.

1) take a good dump. I'm talking about the kind that makes you feel 5kg lighter. I go to the bathroom once in two-three days and not every day for this effect.

This one is actually true. Holding your shit in is not good, and while its not really the same, that feeling after you have been constipated, shitting for an hour without progress, thinking you might actually die a shitty death and the shit finally manages to pass and drop into the toilet is like nirvana and you actually appreciate that you are alive lol.

I ended up trying this last night. It was painful, but I rode it through. I found it difficult to just sit with it.
I have recently started working on practicing mindfulness and mindful walking lately to try to ride out the thoughts. Its really difficult to do though. I can understand the concept of mindfulness. Being mindful of your mind, body and thoughts and accepting them for what they are. But its so hard, especially accepting them, and not putting in any action to fix.

What did you try, mindfulness meditation? Btw you should try walking in nature like just walking on a hill with nobody around, it sounds useless and I thought so too until I went and climbed a hill, brought a sandwich and water and my phone for music and it was actually good. Walking in city vs walking in nature are different things. That's why my dream is to have a house in the middle of nowhere. I also struggle with acceptance and anxiety at night so I can't fall asleep without a barrage of terrible thoughts so I don't have an answer for that.
 
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NonsenseTrash

NonsenseTrash

Student
Jan 19, 2020
158
This one is actually true. Holding your shit in is not good, and while its not really the same, that feeling after you have been constipated, shitting for an hour without progress, thinking you might actually die a shitty death and the shit finally manages to pass and drop into the toilet is like nirvana and you actually appreciate that you are alive lol.



What did you try, mindfulness meditation? Btw you should try walking in nature like just walking on a hill with nobody around, it sounds useless and I thought so too until I went and climbed a hill, brought a sandwich and water and my phone for music and it was actually good. Walking in city vs walking in nature are different things. That's why my dream is to have a house in the middle of nowhere. I also struggle with acceptance and anxiety at night so I can't fall asleep without a barrage of terrible thoughts so I don't have an answer for that.
Yeah, I've been doing mindfulness meditations, both walking and static. They help some, but you're so right about walking in the city vs. in nature. I really gotta look for a park or something nearby, where there's nature.
 
dandan

dandan

One more attempt on life.
Feb 18, 2019
1,298
I have found Testosterone 6 months ago, and I'm feeling "good" or "not bad"(which is good).

After that chemical/hormone or whatever,
Life continued to be a challenge everyday
I feel good but life can be hard/disappointing,
Cause recovery is not found solely in a weekly Testosterone shot,
After 20 years of therapy, some coaches or people trying to help, books, among other stuff...

How I find relief today, (is using what I've learn while studying leadership trainings, going deep to their source, finding the powerful author ideas that shaped all this leadership trainings in the last half century) so besides my weekly testo shot, is by harnessing the power I've been given of choosing my own story each day... by linguistically shaping my own world, choosing my own words through out my judgements , choosing the words that help me create an empowering and engaging sense for life, choosing my own words and ideas to powerfully overcome obstacles , those I can , having conversations for my future actions or my possible actions, ...... and so....

Now I'm not creating or inventing anything,
This is what I've learn is possible in trainings and coaching.
There's a book, which is not light to read, nor short, and it's in Spanish. by a south American author I believe.

In USA there are training and camps like
"Lifespring" or "Newfield" and many many morwhich rely on this author a lot....

The author works at Newfield i believe

Rafael Echeverria, he's a sociologist who studied how language shapes the world, and not only describes it.... it has amazing point of views.....
However some chapters can be tedious or just not interesting to everyone of us, so instead of putting the book down or reading it from front to back.

We can choose to skip and read what we think we need, and sometimes I find a relieve through out realizing I can choose my own story and empower myself by trying to expand my possibilities and choosing to ACT on what's possible.



With care and my best wishes to all of us who have been down and know that a little deeper and we'd rather ctb , even when normal people cant possible understand us. Being down has been major part of my life, more than half and I'm nearly 40. So I'm enjoying my new undepressed life even when the girl I met and dated for a good couple months stopped answering my messages and shows uninterest in me.

Besides I'm also am asshole , I could complaint about she not being with me, but if she let me sleep with her and if I didn't like her so much, I would be the one just pushing her away... so I guess I'm learning about relationships too... well not much, but something. Either way I dont know if I can commit in a relationship, I'm a human who it's just 6 month old since feeling like an almost "normal" human.
 
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gentleflower

gentleflower

Student
Jun 6, 2019
105
The honest answer for me would be self harm. Maybe a long hot shower counts as well
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
First of all, the advice you have been given above has priority. I'll add that since you have goals, try to focus on them. I don't know what your goals are, but if you for instance want to become a musician, practice as much as you can; if you want to become a doctor, read books and articles and watch YouTube videos about medicine as much as you can. It won't only distract you, but also make you more self-confident. It has worked for me, so maybe it'll work for you too.
 
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