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K

kitchenwindow197

Student
Sep 22, 2024
116
For weeks ive been preparing emotionally to ctb, i was initially very scared but this week its like a switch has flicked. Im feeling excitement and peace more than anything else, i plan to go within the next 2 days. At night i seem to want to still have some fear and want to die alot less- really not sure why, but i wake up and realize its the only thing i can do now.

Im curious to know what people, who have a definite plan, are feeling?
 
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Reactions: Mateira, divinemistress36 and MeowWantsToGoHome
DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Experienced
Feb 9, 2025
218
There is fear, fear of pain and afterlife. But then there is feeling of great relief.
 
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Reactions: Reflection
Reflection

Reflection

One last hurrah
Sep 12, 2024
337
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared shitless. I also have many regrets but in the end I also feel great comfort in it.
 
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Reactions: divinemistress36
C

CravingPeace

It’s only a matter of time
Feb 19, 2025
59
I don't have my method yet, but it's been ordered. I feel a great sense of relief, tbh.
 
MeowWantsToGoHome

MeowWantsToGoHome

Missing the Moon 🌙
Sep 11, 2024
72
Still very scared, but… also excited. Like I know that waiting isn't going to magically make things any worse or better than what they are now, so I know it's time. I think I'm gonna be ready.
 
D

dontwakemeup

Mage
Nov 11, 2024
598
I have failed attempts but I wouldn't have known in that moment, they would have failed.
Fear, excitement, sadness, regret, anger, happiness, loneliness, and mixed with a bit of peace in knowing something new would be next, or this would finally be the end. I often thought of staying, but I knew what staying meant. What I didn't know is what would happen next but it was so worth the risk to take. I always cried as I prepared to leave. It's difficult to explain all these emotions that build up in that "moment." If I had to pick the biggest emotion out of it all, is happiness that I was finally leaving from this cruel world. My only hope in that last moment was I could see my deceased mother and sister just one more time and tell them I love them and that I really tried. Yea, that's how it felt. Welcome to crossing over. I hope you have safe travels and get the outcome that you truly desire. I wish you the best. If there is even a slight doubt you are making the wrong decision, please stop! Just because you make a post and perhaps wrote goodbye letters doesn't mean you can't change your mind. It's always important to member, it's your final decision. If you do go, please tell my mom and sister I love them and I'm still trying.
 

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