Used to trigger me but now it doesn't. As a teenager I had this friend that I still talk to who I thought was genuinely gorgeous, she used to cut herself and the first time I got a look at them I realized how intense they were. She got a lot of attention just for how boyish she was and soft spoken and just how intense she was and honest to god it triggered me more than anything in the world. I wanted to be her (? I might've been in love with her idk lol) and I think it sort of pushed me to self harm, although I'd been chronically suicidal since I was 8 i never had the proper introduction to self harm till a while afterwards, and I don't know. I guess she just planted this thing in my head where I thought I'd get the help and attention I needed if I did it and if they were intense enough.
Now though, I know no one gives a fat fuck, I still hurt myself because obviously it's an addiction. If anything it just makes you a fucking target in the real world, delegitimizes you as a person to stupid people, and I kinda regret starting.