Volatile
God
- Jun 18, 2018
- 1,286
I suffer through the tension. I realize that I don't really have any coping strategies at all. I just endure everything and I'm so tired of itThis site and the decision to die wby?
Actually that's not entirely true as I have made meaningful social connections here on SS.Took me 15 years to realise I was lonely and that I'm capable of being sociable and likeable and receiving love. Came with a cost though as it also revealed my flaws and showed me that I'm capable of causing deep hurt and damage to others and myself. im hoping in the future I'll be lucky enough to put these demons behind me and make meaningful social connections again.
All of this is just yes. I'm so tired of meeting new people getting to know them and then losing them. I'm tired of all the walls you have to jump just to get an idea of who somebody is.
Yup. Usually try to sleeptalk with other misantrophists about your misantrophy, riddle solved :P
socializing got only annoying, I'm glad if I only have to see and talk with someone for a short amount of time
there's no real connection to anyone but I also don't know what to do with my time since I have nearly no interest in anything by now
Well put. I share similar situations as well. I'm mostly an shy, socially awkward introvert. I have Aspergers and it fucks me up in day to day interactions. There is a part of me that wishes I never had the damn disorder and just be able to have an easy way around socially and connect naturally, like most people. Then again, I'd enjoy some advantages of the disorder, such as being good at various fields, being detailed, and good memory (not sure if true). Another thing I also prefer is usually serenity and quietness as well, so during the times where I'm not constantly bombarded by people interacting is sorta like a break for me mentally.I think I've just accepted that I will always take life's back seat, being the observer and rarely the participant. I'm okay with that because I find socializing painful and difficult, even though I can fake it pretty well when needed. I also acknowledge that I should occasionally dabble in it for the sake of my mental health if nothing else. But generally speaking I can take or leave people. That's not all bad, btw. Has distinct advantages at times.