How do you cope with no one caring

[Gabbi_Station]

I think the toughest parts about mental illness is you often see the harsh realities that no one else does.

One of the hardest things is realizing how little anyone actually cares or really truly loves you. If I died tomorrow; I don't think anyone would deeply care. Everyone would just go back to their lives.

The sad truth of depression is everyone knows you're depressed- they just don't care enough to really do anything and then tell themselves it's not their fault when you're gone. That's more or less how it was when my mother died.

I just feel like I have trouble with the day to day anymore because I am so aware of how little I matter. How little anyone would miss me…. Just constantly find myself thinking, "Does any of this matter?"

Does this eat at anyone else? Does anyone else struggle because they just keep dwelling on it?

 

[L0nely]

We're too little in this world to matter the way we would want to. It's sad reality. We also tend to forget that others have their own struggles in life. To care about others often is too overwhelming when you got your own problems.

 

[kinderbueno]

I felt more liberated when I realised that nobody deeply cares for you no matter how much they act like they do. All love is conditional in my opinion, even my parents love is conditional, thye only love me because "I'm muslim" (I'm not, I'm actually a closeted ex muslim)

 

[Arahant]

Mostly Metta (compassion) meditation, to generate what feelings I need.
At the end of the day, if we imagine having zero emotions, caring people would mean nothing - the goal is a feeling, in my view.

Tulpas have also helped me a lot. You know about DID with their alter personas? Remove all the amnesia and scary things from that, and that is basically what tulpas are.

If I can care about others, even if simply suggesting things in here or telling them I wish better for them, that also helps me, somehow.

I hear good things about pets too, but have none of my own.

For what it's worth from an internet stranger, I care about you.
And I would be sad if you were gone.
Being in the forum, I can totally understand from experience why you may feel necessitated to ctb.
You may not know, you may not care that I care, but it still holds true.

 

[Ash]

In a word, badly.

 

[ringo99]

Youtube video binging and gaming. So quite badly

 

[skylight7]

I think the toughest parts about mental illness is you often see the harsh realities that no one else does.

One of the hardest things is realizing how little anyone actually cares or really truly loves you. If I died tomorrow; I don't think anyone would deeply care. Everyone would just go back to their lives.

The sad truth of depression is everyone knows you're depressed- they just don't care enough to really do anything and then tell themselves it's not their fault when you're gone. That's more or less how it was when my mother died.

I just feel like I have trouble with the day to day anymore because I am so aware of how little I matter. How little anyone would miss me…. Just constantly find myself thinking, "Does any of this matter?"

Does this eat at anyone else? Does anyone else struggle because they just keep dwelling on it?

I totally feel this. I have thought this many times. Most likely, others have too. You mentioned your mom. Did she have depression, too?

 

[CatLvr]

Mostly Metta (compassion) meditation, to generate what feelings I need.
At the end of the day, if we imagine having zero emotions, caring people would mean nothing - the goal is a feeling, in my view.

Tulpas have also helped me a lot. You know about DID with their alter personas? Remove all the amnesia and scary things from that, and that is basically what tulpas are.

If I can care about others, even if simply suggesting things in here or telling them I wish better for them, that also helps me, somehow.

I hear good things about pets too, but have none of my own.

For what it's worth from an internet stranger, I care about you.
And I would be sad if you were gone.
Being in the forum, I can totally understand from experience why you may feel necessitated to ctb.
You may not know, you may not care that I care, but it still holds true.

As someone who as pets I can tell you that they are more intuitive and affectionate than any human I have ever known. And that includes family.

These guys read me better than my husband of 30 years does. And when I am really, really, REALLY thinking about ctb they know. And they will not leave me alone. It is absolutely amazing to me hoe intuitive they are.

If it weren't for these fellas I wouldn't be here now.

 

[lemonbunny]

it's tough. i'm experiencing the same thing.
some advice i read online was to find an interest or hobby that is completely independent of other people that you can return to and get better at. other people are the problem, basically. you need something that they can't take away or ruin

 

[whydidthishappen]

Yeah, I contemplate this daily. I still try to maintain certain friendships but I shouldn't go out of my way. I know once I'm gone, I'm gone. I replay times in my life I was let down by others and their conditional love, and I remember how insignificant my life really was to them. I also replay my times in my life when I had open vulnerabilities, my fragility on display for my exes and partners and how there was ever very little help there and actually furthered suicidality.

 

[Saturn_]

By starving myself and getting so high that I can't even remember myself, let alone my worthlessness.

 

[franzkafka]

I understand how you feel, because I always thought that no one cares about me as I care about them. I live alone and I always thought that if I die there would be at least 2-3 days before anyone might notice that something is wrong.

I always thought that if it could be possible to just "die" for a little while to see how people would react and finally be able to see who would care and how my death would impact their life. Then I'll know and maybe it would help me not to feel alone. Or it could make it worse, depending on the level of impact I'll see.

 

[VoidedExistence]

I don't cope. I listen to sad songs and daydream sad things. I see people living their lives, people caring for their people. Wishing I could experience them. I just tell myself that it is what it is.

 

[Speedygonzalez]

I think the toughest parts about mental illness is you often see the harsh realities that no one else does.

One of the hardest things is realizing how little anyone actually cares or really truly loves you. If I died tomorrow; I don't think anyone would deeply care. Everyone would just go back to their lives.

The sad truth of depression is everyone knows you're depressed- they just don't care enough to really do anything and then tell themselves it's not their fault when you're gone. That's more or less how it was when my mother died.

I just feel like I have trouble with the day to day anymore because I am so aware of how little I matter. How little anyone would miss me…. Just constantly find myself thinking, "Does any of this matter?"

Does this eat at anyone else? Does anyone else struggle because they just keep dwelling on it?

I totally get it. I thought I had a loving family but I came out to them as a trans guy and they ghosted me and cut me out of my inheritance. Plus my gf of four years ghosted, then came back but wants to not be exclusive with me and found another bf but keeps me on the side
just in case. I thought my family and my GF cared. Trust no one, that's what I've learned learned! I gave my family and my GF my heart and they crushed it

 

[ropearoundatree]

They may, and it just might be, that you're not aware of it... the caring for, or about you, is all. After all (is said & done). However, this would be for the ones that really love you, or do actually care for you & have a strong feeling of empathy, and sympathy towards you. Or just some strong bonds to the point where, such as with friends & some/certain friendships. They do in deed actually care about your well-being. And what would become of, or happen to you. They may grief you indefinitely, and gravely, at that.

But, you just don't really know for sure... beforehand, I feel-- It could be, just as you say. Though I doubt it's so morose, I have no way of knowing what the impacts nor the implications of my, or mine - or my very own - might be (on the lives of others). Whom I THINK might seem to care. But no one really knows in the end.

The only thing I will say is this: it can be very unpredictable. I once made a pretty serious attempt many years ago. And I'd at that time had two best friends with whom I was in close contact & communication with (regular daily efforts). Both in graduate school. One for Psych, ironically! Well, I thought I knew pretty-well, how they both were going to take it, or react (to the news). Of my misfortune.

I couldn't as it turns out, have been more wrong & ass-backwards, about it / or the whole_thing^~>*

So, all of this to say - that we really don't know, how others are going to feel afterwards. You're right, one way or the other, if they are somewhat semi-functional in life. Then it is going to go on. With or without. Any or every - single one of us :)

But it can feel. Like w/your Mother, I'd suppose. As though, you are forgotten. And somehow worthless or insignificant. In terms of, how or what you meant with respect to your impact and what effect you may have had on others' lives. I would also say this, you may not know, or be able to tell what they think - these people (the others) privately.

As far as their beliefs go, or just what goes on inside of their heads. Really, because not a lot of people tend to show it. And they might not always express it, either. Even though it would or might be nice, to a family member who was so close, such as yourself in this instance. So the silence, then -- or their lack of action; can unfortunately prove quite hurtful. As it can be read as a sign of serious disrespect.

 

[lomorbu]

Isolate, drugs, fade into nothing. No one even matters because they can never pull you out of that bottomless pit. Giving up and letting go are the same thing. Everyday goes by and I give up a little more than yesterday

 

[username12345]

I think the toughest parts about mental illness is you often see the harsh realities that no one else does.

One of the hardest things is realizing how little anyone actually cares or really truly loves you. If I died tomorrow; I don't think anyone would deeply care. Everyone would just go back to their lives.

The sad truth of depression is everyone knows you're depressed- they just don't care enough to really do anything and then tell themselves it's not their fault when you're gone. That's more or less how it was when my mother died.

I just feel like I have trouble with the day to day anymore because I am so aware of how little I matter. How little anyone would miss me…. Just constantly find myself thinking, "Does any of this matter?"

Does this eat at anyone else? Does anyone else struggle because they just keep dwelling on it?

I think the first thing to do is to check if it's just your depression or if they really don't care. Reach out, try to make plans, try to make new friends, even. That's what I did when I transitioned and it only backfired with abusive reactions from trying to make friends…or even people getting security/police smh. Then I just tried to have some sort of connection by doing things for people and it is nice but at the same time if people only take while you are sinking you will eventually drown. Everyone needs support but unfortunately support even socially tends to just be a reward for adhering to the status quo.

 

[Gabbi_Station]

I totally feel this. I have thought this many times. Most likely, others have too. You mentioned your mom. Did she have depression, too?

Yeah; she died when I was a teenager