Help How do you cope with leaving behind younger little humans who look up to you?

[wordsonscreen]

For people who have kids or siblings--
how do you plan for this?

I worry about being absent when they need me. I worry that, without me, they might experience more hardship because they may face situations that I have and I wont be around to guide them and help them dodge the bullets. I worry that the ones who look up to me will be heartbroken and my exit will be a trauma that harms them deeply.

Thoughts?

 

[Makko]

Disclaimer: I have no experience being a parent but I have experience being a kid, so this is from the kid perspective.

Trauma is a part of life. You can't protect or shelter them from it. If it won't be this, it'll be something else. Don't forget that you are not the only person that can support them in the world. They'll grow their own network of people to rely on. They'll learn to be independent. One thing that bewilders me about parents is that they focus on how they can help their kids "dodge bullets". There's no real way to do this. Either you let people make their own mistakes and grow as individuals or you shelter them from everything so that they turn into adult babies who can't survive in the world. You're not a point defense system that can shoot away all the "bullets" while letting all the good stuff (or, more accurately, stuff that you personally approve of) past. The world is a complete package. Either you go out and experience it or you hide in your hidey hole and don't. You don't have any happiness-granting superpower that your children will lose with your passing. It's up to them as separate individuals to live their life with all the hardships and softships that it entails.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Honestly, sometimes shit happens. Kids lose their parents every day and parents lose their kids every day. It's not easy on anyone but it happens in so many different ways. Condsider a moment of child neglect and then the child is gone even when the parent didn't mean for it to happen. A child drinks a chemical or falls and has a fatal injury. Consider a parent who crosses the street too fast and gets hit while walking home. If its a family with many kids then everyone suffers from the loss. CTB is just another way we lose people. It's really no different. It hurts either way.

 

[Water-Lily]

My brother will be better off without me. Yesterday I flipped out at him yesterday and wa verbally abusive topping around the house.If anything he needs me dead than alive

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

Life is a trauma no matter what. You've planned well with letters to explain and support others after you've gone. i'm not sure what more could be done other than to not die, but that prolongs your suffering.
i have no helpful response, sorry. Still alive myself as i am advocate for my adult sibling, i don't trust my mum or the care system to do the very best by him...

 

[◄✵火✵〇°Ø•WÅR•Ī°〇✵火✵►]

I think, before you leave, you could consider teaching them or telling them everything you would like them to know or learn or think might be helpful for them. Of course, it is up to them to take it or not but it could be beneficial, both for you and for them.

It could be left in written form or any other form that you feel inspired to create. I'm saying this because this is what I'm currently doing, not just for people in my life but for the world in general, that I might leave behind at some point.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

(In combination with my method being partial), this is keeping me from obtaining peace tbh. Yesterday, the day before that and today, I have/have had nearly constant emotional pain from the tfw no gf and I still decide to not head into the woods and fuck around with partial.

 

[WornOutLife]

My nephew loves me and he really looks up to me.

I get really sad when I think about ctb because he will be like "why did my uncle ctb? I miss him"

However, dealing with life is very hard and even though right now I'm really trying to live, one of these days I might try to leave this world.

I guess that's the reason why I think suicide is a selfish act.

The best we can do is live life to the fullest with children, younger brothers, etc so that they can at least remember the great times they shared with us.

 

[wordsonscreen]

Life is a trauma no matter what. You've planned well with letters to explain and support others after you've gone. i'm not sure what more could be done other than to not die, but that prolongs your suffering.
i have no helpful response, sorry. Still alive myself as i am advocate for my adult sibling, i don't trust my mum or the care system to do the very best by him...

Oh I feel you :( you are correct though that one can do what we can to mitigate harm I guess..

I think, before you leave, you could consider teaching them or telling them everything you would like them to know or learn or think might be helpful for them. Of course, it is up to them to take it or not but it could be beneficial, both for you and for them.

It could be left in written form or any other form that you feel inspired to create. I'm saying this because this is what I'm currently doing, not just for people in my life but for the world in general, that I might leave behind at some point.

This is a good idea. I was thinking of compiling a resource toolkit.

My nephew loves me and he really looks up to me.

I get really sad when I think about ctb because he will be like "why did my uncle ctb? I miss him"

However, dealing with life is very hard and even though right now I'm really trying to live, one of these days I might try to leave this world.

I guess that's the reason why I think suicide is a selfish act.

The best we can do is live life to the fullest with children, younger brothers, etc so that they can at least remember the great times they shared with us.

:( <3 I feel you.