How do people with frequent bouts of severe depression make it in this world?

[Volatile]

Today is one of those days. I feel like I worked out at the gym yesterday. That's how my body feels. It's like gravity doubled since yesterday.

Now I'm going to miss class. It's a once a week college class...not the only class I'm taking by the way. I already emailed the professor a few weeks ago about being unwell. I doubt he'll be as sympathetic this time. This is so fucked.

 

[Circles]

Well I wish I could give you an easy answer but I'm the same. I wonder why or even how anyone can survive an extra 20-60 years of this shit. It feels like an eternity and yet time flies so fast all at once. It's such a complicated conundrum. 'Forever feels like home sitting all alone inside your head.'

 

[Maravillosa]

Oh Volatile! <<<Hugs>>>

I have had several bouts of severe major depression on top of persistent depressive disorder. I have not made it in the world in the way that I hoped and expected to do. Yes, I earned a BA and went to grad school, but I am 52 and still live with my mother.

Would it be possible to tell your professor and the Office of Students with Disabilities the nature of your illness? Some professors are familiar with mental illness in their students and are willing to accommodate students with disabilities -- including depression. Not all professors are sympathetic, but if you have an official disability, that should make it easier.

 

[Marystevenson1001]

I feel the same. Like my feet have weights on them and I can't even get up the energy to shower. Just lay around all day doing nothing and still feel extremely exhausted. I've lived with bouts like this for years but I always had some distraction. This year I lost my home, my marriage, my job and I dropped out of school. So now I have nothing, nobody and no reason to live.

 

[Circles]

I feel the same. Like my feet have weights on them and I can't even get up the energy to shower. Just lay around all day doing nothing and still feel extremely exhausted. I've lived with bouts like this for years but I always had some distraction. This year I lost my home, my marriage, my job and I dropped out of school. So now I have nothing, nobody and no reason to live.

Wow it's amazing how even if you do everything right you could still lose it all. Damn sorry about your circumstances.

 

[windingdown]

A lot of feels for this thread - depression is so hard. OP, I second Maravillosa's suggestion about registering with the Disability Office and seeking special treatment, if you have medical documentation. Colleges are quite good these days about making accommodations.

Marystevenson1001, I lost everything last year due to mental illness, and now contend with anhedonia - no interest in anything. Finding distractions can be very hard when nothing feels worthwhile. It's a relief now that I'm ticking down the days to ctb, but even that feels too long in this state. So many empty hours, so little to do.

 

[azucaramargo]

I feel the same. Like my feet have weights on them and I can't even get up the energy to shower. Just lay around all day doing nothing and still feel extremely exhausted. I've lived with bouts like this for years but I always had some distraction. This year I lost my home, my marriage, my job and I dropped out of school. So now I have nothing, nobody and no reason to live.

I'm so sorry. This sounds very similar to my 2016-2017. I started an online grad program that I didn't finish, and now owe money on, and because of complicated issues with an ex, am not able to re-enter the program. Bad break up, job loss. And, that sent me into a mental institution. Do you have a place to live at the moment? You are not alone, Marystevenson.

 

[Lara Francis]

I think they may fool themselves for a while believing the bullshit that life will get better but eventually the grip on reality and life will be lost.

 

[mattwitt]

I don't think they do for long. Eventually they have to be heavily sedated all the time and or institutionalized because they can't work, can't properly take care of themselves, become suicidal and become too heavy of a burden for even family to take care of them.