sangfroid
A voice heard long ago
- Feb 1, 2020
- 28
I know that I'm not alone in being the kind of person who is looked down on by others for being ugly, awkward and just a loser in general. It's not all that uncommon. I realise this is a very horrible thing to admit, but I can't help but be extremely jealous of other people who are "weird" (to give it a brief description) but seem either unaware or uncaring about how people are judging them or laughing at them. I've been rejected and abused by enough people at different times/places so am constantly aware of how unacceptable I am, but I don't think I could ever be as carefree as that, I just don't get it. You could try and explain it on a logical level and try to tell me other people's opinions don't matter, but at the end of the day it does matter, to me at least, because you can't do everything in life completely by yourself. Even though I've known other people who were bullied etc, they all seemed to get through it and every one of them has done better in life than me.
I just don't know what it would be like to not let the weight of being a reject crush me completely to the point where I can't imagine not hating myself. It's an alien concept to me.
I just don't know what it would be like to not let the weight of being a reject crush me completely to the point where I can't imagine not hating myself. It's an alien concept to me.