sangfroid

sangfroid

A voice heard long ago
Feb 1, 2020
28
I know that I'm not alone in being the kind of person who is looked down on by others for being ugly, awkward and just a loser in general. It's not all that uncommon. I realise this is a very horrible thing to admit, but I can't help but be extremely jealous of other people who are "weird" (to give it a brief description) but seem either unaware or uncaring about how people are judging them or laughing at them. I've been rejected and abused by enough people at different times/places so am constantly aware of how unacceptable I am, but I don't think I could ever be as carefree as that, I just don't get it. You could try and explain it on a logical level and try to tell me other people's opinions don't matter, but at the end of the day it does matter, to me at least, because you can't do everything in life completely by yourself. Even though I've known other people who were bullied etc, they all seemed to get through it and every one of them has done better in life than me.

I just don't know what it would be like to not let the weight of being a reject crush me completely to the point where I can't imagine not hating myself. It's an alien concept to me.
 
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ctbUniquectb

Pariah
Jan 7, 2020
489
Not to be a hotline worker, but I can damned near guarantee 99 out of 100 people, or more, do not look down on your looks or presumed awkwardness. People are COMPLETELY self absorbed and not even noticing you.

So, you've got that going on. Smile!
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
It doesn't matter what they think it matters what we think. I don't know how some people are able to live with themselves but not the examples you've given.
 
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ctbUniquectb

Pariah
Jan 7, 2020
489
I don't know how some people are able to live with themselves but not the examples you've given.
That's an exceptionally astute point, which I wish I had even thought, much less raised.

I peripherally know some HORRIFIC scum. I don't mean people I know personally, who have mildly inconvenienced me or insulted me. I mean, long term and serious antisocial behaviors against large swaths of the community - and intentionally so.

But, any consequences? Any introspection? pic motherfucking related
 
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