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Ambivalent1
Death is white, not darkness.
- Apr 17, 2023
- 3,232
My greatest wish is for connection. I was talking to my pharmacist the other day who is normally mean but she's gotten nicer recently. Talking with her was great but it was also painful because it reminded me of what I crave but can't have. Someone like her makes six figures and I'm on disability. Being attractive isn't good enough once you hit your 30s. I feel like my desire can't be achieved so I wonder why I keep torturing myself by living.
I try and remind myself that once I'm dead I won't care anymore about any unfulfilled wants or desires but that means nothing to a brain that is very much alive and feels tortured.
I try and remind myself that once I'm dead I won't care anymore about any unfulfilled wants or desires but that means nothing to a brain that is very much alive and feels tortured.
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