How do i permanently get rid of negative feelings?

[TVtrays]

For background, I have PTSD, BPD, OCD, GAD and I'm autistic. I basically feel all my bad emotions to the extreme, including anxiety, which is why I'm never able to bring myself to ctb. I'm a burden to everybody in my life because I need constant support. I lost the love of my life because I'm too fucking stupid to fucking just get better and be a good partner to someone for once in my miserable life, so how the fuck can I just turn all this shit off and maybe be loveable? Be somebody who people aren't sick of being around. Be somebody who isn't relentlessly miserable? No amount of therapy, hospitalizations, daily therapy programs, medication, meditation or anything has worked and since ctb is off the table because I'm a miserable coward.
Don't tell me its not possible or whatever because I'm willing to fucking try. It's my only chance, so please, somebody help.

 

[I_love_to_bake]

Im sorry to hear you've had it so hard. There's no need to worry, you've got this far.

The guarentee of life is death, and in death is freedom from all the pain you've been suffering from. But it is for you to decide what to do with the life you have. My only advice is to find something bigger than yourself than can give you purpose. To help the needy, feed the hungry, fight the evil. This world is broken and if you can see it you can make a difference and help fix it. The answers are already in your heart. Look within.

Sending love your way :) ❤

 

[Life_and_Death]

It takes a bit of work but what's helped me is telling myself the opposite of the negative.
Also I get where you're coming from, cptsd (ptsd too but the cptsd sticks out more) bpd, dissociation, and just about every anxiety. (I also have something called capgras (imposter) syndrome. It typically effects humans but for me it's my pets. Sometimes I don't think they are mine. I say sometimes because I try really hard to not believe it so I typically don't think about it. But before I moved out I had a dog and I would have sworn the coyotes tied her up in the woods and replaced her with a look a like.)

 

[Isadeth]

I'm so sorry you're so discouraged by everything that has happened, but I'm happy to see you're willing to try and resolve your issues ♡ what a refreshing thing to read!

I know I can't speak for everyone with autism, but I'm speaking on experience with my own boys on the spectrum. My eldest in particular. He has multiple interests that despite having ADHD, he will focus on a task he enjoys and honestly it's impressive. He enjoys building and I mean with almost any medium. He's 9 and will construct 1500 piece models for fun. I had him put together a kitty condo and he put it together in 15 mins, then took it apart just to rebuild it because it was fun lol ugh there's other things like I mean himself with a Rubik's Cube, math for fun, and just absorbing fun facts. Unfortunately, he has suicidal ideation but I'm hoping his therapy and psychiatrist appointments are enough along with supportive parents. When I read posts like yours or others my heart sinks and I just want to hug you.

Do you personally have any interests that bring you joy? Any semblance of fascination? I understand if you don't, depression and lack of motivation are awful. Sometimes submersion is a great distraction, not to mention calming.

Please feel free to message me if you'd like. I am sure other members with the same situations could better help, and I'm only speaking as a parent of a semi young child with what knowledge I do have, which is very individualized... but I hope to be of support if you need. I truly wish you the best ♡

 

[muffin222]

I don't believe you can permanently rid yourself of all negative feelings. As painful and distressing as they are, negative feelings do have a purpose and they are trying to tell us something. You can't subdue one type of emotion without limiting your entire emotional range (including joy, fulfillment,etc). I also don't believe we can fully control our emotions, either. The healthiest way out of your negative emotions is to sit with them, label the emotions (i.e. sadness, depression, anger, loneliness, etc) and feel them fully until they pass naturally. No feeling lasts forever, however unbearable it feels in the moment

But, suppressing our emotions tends to actually make the feeling stronger because instead of being worked through naturally, the emotion stays trapped inside, where it festers and bursts out later on, often when we least expect it. The best way out of our emotions is through them, unfortunately