How do I OBJECTIVELY see the good in myself

[BabyYoda]

Last Friday was when I had the psychological assessment required for our upcoming immersion next month. Because I have been completely honest about my issues the GC had to put me into further evaluation. He said that I needed to work on seeing my positive traits, but it just seems impossible to me. People think I'm nice but I don't have anything notable about me. What should I do

 

[Moonomyth]

When people say you're nice, what do they say? Try to be as specific as you can.

When you say there is nothing notable about you, what would it take for you to consider something noteworthy? Again, be as specific as you can.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

How old are you? Let's say your 'X' years old for the sake of the argument. I would list as number one on your list:

1. I have put up with this shit successfully for X amount of years without killing anybody or going insane. I (probably) had shit parents, shit surroundings, maybe just a shit hand in general and still I haven't grown resentful of other people, the world, etc which means I am a good person (probably too good of a person). Sorry don't know whether or not this applies to you

 

[Thereisnothing]

I think alot of this will come gradually...........I didn't used to think anything good about myself, but it did change.............you are good at seeing it in other people but not ourselves sadly.............how about trying something really simple or not really as its very notable in my eyes.
You are seeking help, see that as a real strength and feel good that have made that step.
Take strength that others care about you here, you are worth caring about as you are good person, so try and believe that...............its tiny steps.............but they all add up.

 

[CynicalHopelessness]

For me right now it's that I'm moving forward despite shitty days and having gone further than I did any time before AND that I take on the courage to alter my life not knowing where that would lead, instead of sitting on my ass and ruminating.

I don't think "objectively good" is meaningful if you want to feel genuinely happy for yourself, without being tied to others' opinion of you. You'd have to get into moral relativism and decide to be your own master.

 

[Mr2005]

First and foremost I make sure there is some

 

[Rollo]

Last Friday was when I had the psychological assessment required for our upcoming immersion next month. Because I have been completely honest about my issues the GC had to put me into further evaluation. He said that I needed to work on seeing my positive traits, but it just seems impossible to me. People think I'm nice but I don't have anything notable about me. What should I do

If you're sure that you're taking a completely honest look at yourself - then it's as objective as it gets. The notion of good is partially subjective in the first place. It depends upon what every particular person believes in. But you being 'nice' is what's most commonly viewed by people as 'good'. So if people think you're nice - there's that. Although the point of this 'positive thinking' stuff is to make you feel good about yourself, so it mostly matters what you think is good. Being nice? Being approved as nice? Being approved in general? Then there's far less subjective notion of good that deals with your objective strengths. Maybe you're skilled at something, smart etc. TBH I think positive thinking is nonsense in the first place. I think emotionally healthy people are generally more positive just cause they're emotonally healthy, and vice versa. So the only meaningful progress here may occur as a side product of resolving emotional issues. But forcing yourself into some sort of positive thinking - I don't see it doing much. Still maybe it'll work for you. Just my 2 cents.

P.S. above all else I think the very notion of seeing good in you is a perverted one. As if you're approving of yourself. Which is not really neccessary.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Addressing the title about objectively seeing the good in yourself.

Are you someone you would like to have as a friend? If yes, why? Are there things you respect about yourself and like no matter what anyone else says? What are the things people say thank you to you for doing or saying?

Those are just some thoughts.

 

[Rollo]

Addressing the title about objectively seeing the good in yourself.

Are you someone you would like to have as a friend? If yes, why? Are there things you respect about yourself and like no matter what anyone else says? What are the things people say thank you to you for doing or saying?

Those are just some thoughts.

These are actually good questions. Personally I wouldn't want a friend that is exactly a copy of me, that is with my body or my memories, cause this part of the story I know already and it would be weird anyway. But with my life outlook - sure. Also I don't think it matters what everyone says anyway, whether you respect something about yourself or not. But if somehow you don't respect something about yourself - then you need to work on changing it.

 

[Sensei]

I'll just point out a good trait that you have. I don't know you, but when I read your posts you strike me as very analytical. You analyse your situation effectively and in a very systematic fashion. This will no doubt help you when you pursue your career in the future, whatever it may be.

 

[BabyYoda]

When people say you're nice, what do they say? Try to be as specific as you can.

When you say there is nothing notable about you, what would it take for you to consider something noteworthy? Again, be as specific as you can.

Nothing really specific, they usually just give me one word in describing me. It would take more than one person for me to be convinced that I have a certain trait, for example, three of my friends say I am creative. Assuming that they know me well, I would tend to believe them.

How old are you? Let's say your 'X' years old for the sake of the argument. I would list as number one on your list:

1. I have put up with this shit successfully for X amount of years without killing anybody or going insane. I (probably) had shit parents, shit surroundings, maybe just a shit hand in general and still I haven't grown resentful of other people, the world, etc which means I am a good person (probably too good of a person). Sorry don't know whether or not this applies to you

18.

Addressing the title about objectively seeing the good in yourself.

Are you someone you would like to have as a friend? If yes, why? Are there things you respect about yourself and like no matter what anyone else says? What are the things people say thank you to you for doing or saying?

Those are just some thoughts.

Hmm, I guess so. Because I don't see why not. I'm not sure, but I like the fact that I'm interested in several things ..? I also help in groupworks for school if that counts lol

I'll just point out a good trait that you have. I don't know you, but when I read your posts you strike me as very analytical. You analyse your situation effectively and in a very systematic fashion. This will no doubt help you when you pursue your career in the future, whatever it may be.

I see. Could you tell me what specific post?

 

[Sensei]

I see. Could you tell me what specific post?

There are many posts I could pick, but I think I was supposed to be gone today is a very illustrative example.

 

[Lunaloveflood]

Try to see yourself as another person for a second like someone on this forum for example. We are generally so much harsher with ourselves even if we do "our best" idk why ...

 

[a.n.kirillov]

Try to see yourself as another person for a second like someone on this forum for example. We are generally so much harsher with ourselves even if we do "our best" idk why ...

In the same vein, something David Smail suggests in one of his books, is to try to view yourself like a character in a novel. We usually don't judge fictional characters very harshly and we don't expect them to suddenly change themselves from the inside somehow. We see they are characters and things happen to them; they want something and obstacles are thrown in their way and so on.

 

[Largeletters]

Last Friday was when I had the psychological assessment required for our upcoming immersion next month. Because I have been completely honest about my issues the GC had to put me into further evaluation. He said that I needed to work on seeing my positive traits, but it just seems impossible to me. People think I'm nice but I don't have anything notable about me. What should I do

Think of everything you have done in compliment to others. Have you given support to someone on this site? Have you been there for someone in a time of need?

 

[dandan]

Could it be about your intention? Is it good? Positive?
Could it be about being willing to see good?
Being honest, even when not good, is good by itself, with the act of honesty.
It's also a daily chore, today as you read this. Remember to do positive things through out the day, so at night, before you go to sleep, you can write the positive things you did.
Do it for some weeks and there you go, you would have some objective things to think about each day.
Objectively, it's about to start acting good in your daily life what can trigger what you are looking for.