Help how do i move on from trauma

[679chocolates]

i don't want to go into too much detail but i essentially had a long term relationship end horribly and i had my trust betrayed to an immense degree. Seeing proof of my partner's infidelity made me want to take my own life right then and there but even the activities they shared like the music they listened to and the shows they watched were instantly ruined in my eyes. I have since done my best to move on but i still can't bear looking at these games or hearing the names of certain series because of how much i associate it with the bad. What can i do and how do i move on or is it just a time based process. It's already been a year since finding out but i still hate her so much for ruining things i used to love. I just wanted to be loved like how i loved, i didn't deserve what she did to me, im doing my best but im so confused.

 

[heywey]

Bad experiences don't go away so much as they get dulled over time and covered up by new memories. If the things that remind you of her are things that you still want to have as part of your life going forward -- games you still want to play, etc -- try to keep exposing yourself to them, fill your head up with newer associations until the old associations fade to the background. Otherwise, do what you can to fill your head up with other things. But either way, though the healing process can be slowed or sped up to some extent, it really does just come down to time. If all you can do is make it through another day, that's progress.

 

[nocatwaslost]

Bad experiences don't go away so much as they get dulled over time and covered up by new memories. If the things that remind you of her are things that you still want to have as part of your life going forward -- games you still want to play, etc -- try to keep exposing yourself to them, fill your head up with newer associations until the old associations fade to the background. Otherwise, do what you can to fill your head up with other things. But either way, though the healing process can be slowed or sped up to some extent, it really does just come down to time. If all you can do is make it through another day, that's progress.

I get what you are saying, but sometimes a bit of a distance from these things can help. Because the constant reminder can be very painful and I would advise not to always remove the bandage anew by exposing but instead letting the wound heal. Instead I would recommend finding new things and hobbies because then you can see that life has more to offer and you are not constrained to the existing interests and do not be reminded of her. Maybe in a few years you can try your current hobbies again and maybe make new connotations and associations.

i don't want to go into too much detail but i essentially had a long term relationship end horribly and i had my trust betrayed to an immense degree. Seeing proof of my partner's infidelity made me want to take my own life right then and there but even the activities they shared like the music they listened to and the shows they watched were instantly ruined in my eyes. I have since done my best to move on but i still can't bear looking at these games or hearing the names of certain series because of how much i associate it with the bad. What can i do and how do i move on or is it just a time based process. It's already been a year since finding out but i still hate her so much for ruining things i used to love. I just wanted to be loved like how i loved, i didn't deserve what she did to me, im doing my best but im so confused.

Not sure if my view helps you, but I do hope you find a way for yourself