Volatile
God
- Jun 18, 2018
- 1,286
My method is jump from a high bridge into water. It's a sure death. The fear though and psychological torment during the fall traumatizes me even nowThat's a good question. I need to think more about this myself. I like how someone said that- we're all going to die eventually, and perhaps we can see it as a privilege to decide when and how.
I think I will put my favorite music on repeat to experience some joy once I poison myself, although I will be lying there feeling sick. It would be preferable to potentially long hours of silence - it would make it easier.
Perhaps think of all the suffering you get to skip out on. Aging and declining health. Decades of boredom. Loneliness. Weight gain (maybe). Money troubles. For me, hair loss and physical discomfort.
I originally imagined staying in the bathroom (in case of vomiting etc), but now I just want to make myself as cozy as possible. I'll get under my covers, have a bowl next to me, and (hopefully) get up to go to the bathroom if I need to.
Have a great meal the night before. I'd love to do this just before, though it's not compatible with a lot of methods. I think it would be easier if I could eat rather than drink the poison. At Dignitas, they give people chocolate right after they drink the N, if they want it. That's awesome. If it didn't inhibit absorption - it'd be great to go out enjoying chocolate.
I'm just thinking of ways to make the whole thing feel more accessible and pleasant.
You mean drowning?Volatile have you considered hyperventilating in that water instead? Less scary
Yes. You won't wake up. Look at the resources list, you'll find the method there.You mean drowning?
My method is jump from a high bridge into water. It's a sure death. The fear though and psychological torment during the fall traumatizes me even now
when you know you have no options left and have tried to enjoy and experience the things you have left as much as you can. Then you will be mentally prepared because you will know there is nothing left in you.
My method is jump from a high bridge into water. It's a sure death. The fear though and psychological torment during the fall traumatizes me even now
I tend to alternate between mentally exhausted and feeling sorta okay. The underlying feeling though is a constant deep depression.But you're mentally preparing yourself for death now. Correct? You're on a forum about suicide.
Either you are procrastinating or scared - which is it?
People who are genuinely suffering don't have to mentally prepare. They are mentally exhausted hence the need to exit from the physical world.
I tend to alternate between mentally exhausted and feeling sorta okay. The underlying feeling though is a constant deep depression.
Last year I bought one of those turkey cooking bags to use as an exit bag. I would wake up having nightmares, with terror in my body, having the thought of putting a plastic bag over my head. It was just too much for me.My method is jump from a high bridge into water. It's a sure death. The fear though and psychological torment during the fall traumatizes me even now
I disagree, because I think that the fact that genuinely suicidal people stay alive is more a commentary on the fact that suicide is scary for most people, and not on how much suffering they're experiencing. Being alive can be 'better the devil you know' - you know what it feels like, what to expect. With a suicide attempt, you don't know what the suffering will be like in the process (e.g. how much it will hurt), nor whether you will suffer even more afterward (from a botched attempt).But you're mentally preparing yourself for death now. Correct? You're on a forum about suicide.
Either you are procrastinating or scared - which is it?
People who are genuinely suffering don't have to mentally prepare. They are mentally exhausted hence the need to exit from the physical world.
I disagree, because I think that the fact that genuinely suicidal people stay alive is more a commentary on the fact that suicide is scary for most people, and not on how much suffering they're experiencing. Being alive can be 'better the devil you know' - you know what it feels like, what to expect. With a suicide attempt, you don't know what the suffering will be like in the process (e.g. how much it will hurt), nor whether you will suffer even more afterward (from a botched attempt).
I think it is a lose-lose situation for many people, because they suffer being alive, but they don't want to experience the further suffering of a painful and/or botched attempt.
If there was an easy and pleasant way to die, I think most suicidal people would not need to mentally prepare to die (and relieve their suffering in life). I wish there was a Dignitas right down the road from me, and it was affordable. (And it's too bad there is not a more pleasant method, even, than the Dignitas method.)
I've mentally prepared to live for long enough. Now I want to prepare for the otherSo, you want to mentally prepare to die or mentally prepare to live. The fact that you have the capability to "feeling sorta okay" is actually good.
My parents and the books left in my queue are what's keeping me here. It's ironic. I don't really enjoy reading, but I do it because it boosts my self worth. It makes me feel good to know that I completed The Brothers Karamazov while knowing most people will never attempt it. The story had its moments but the desire to complete it and mark it as "Read" was the real motivator.I think at a certain point, you'll be done with everything and choose to go. Until that time arrives, we have to admit that there is something holding us back, whether it's fear of the unknown or pain (death), laziness or indecisiveness hidden behind laziness, attachment to people/animals/possessions, desire to experience more, or (possibly false) hopes that things will get better. There may be constant back-and-forths, regrets, and worries for choosing not to CTB earlier. Maybe a lot of us are even in a financially stable position that allow us to decide when we want to CTB. That may be helpful and comforting but it may also be detrimental to our will to die because we would have more time to think about the 'what-ifs.'
To mentally prep yourself, I think you should first pinpoint everything that keeps you here. Do you not want to leave someone/something behind? Are there still things you would like to experience? Are you afraid of dying or of botching things up? You could say that it's hard to overcome the last suggestion (being afraid of death or failure), but at the same time, no one really 100% knows what will happen to them after their loved ones or pets die, or after they cross out everything on their bucket list. There may be something that they overlooked or some new reason may come up. Life and survival instinct work in mysterious ways. But I think knowing what keeps you here and then trying all you can to separate yourself from your reason(s) will be helpful in preparing to die.
Sometimes separating yourself from or accepting the reason(s) may take time and not just willpower/effort.
I've done that too. My mind plays me by telling me that it's just a bunch of monuments and that there are no dead there. My mind refuses to accept its eventual death.Walking around a graveyard with envy. I often imagine blowing myself away in a cemetery, but it would have to be at night. It's so damn bright out there in the daytime that it's not peaceful at all. Graveyards and envying the dead is best done at night.
People die all the fucking time. It's no big deal. By the time you made this post probably over a dozen people died.
Walking around a graveyard with envy. I often imagine blowing myself away in a cemetery, but it would have to be at night. It's so damn bright out there in the daytime that it's not peaceful at all. Graveyards and envying the dead is best done at night.