Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Humans have turned something natural into the worst thing ever. Thinking clearly about death would make ctb much easier.
 
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f'dmylife

f'dmylife

Member
Jun 3, 2020
12
Have you ever blacked out from alcohol? That's how I like to think of it.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Have you ever blacked out from alcohol? That's how I like to think of it.
No but I've gone under anesthesia.

I think the problem then is dying (the transition). My method is jumping. It's fast and you pass out upon impact. The jump is so hard.
 
Last edited:
Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
death is eternal rest, that's all it is. the final balance.
 
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f'dmylife

f'dmylife

Member
Jun 3, 2020
12
No but I've gone under anesthesia.

I think the problem then is dying (the transition). My method is jumping. It's fast and you pass out upon impact. The jump is so hard.
Yeah I couldn't do the jump the last time I tried. I think the present really wants you to keep living so you have to focus on all the shit in your past to really get it done.
 
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Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
Yeah I couldn't do the jump the last time I tried. I think the present really wants you to keep living so you have to focus on all the shit in your past to really get it done.
Then i'll write a note of all my debilitating problems. I'll look at it and hope it's all the inspiration I need. I keep visualizing going there and doing it, but I did a real test several years ago when I drove to the GGB. I didn't go there to die but I stood on the bridge and tried to visualize myself jumping. I couldn't.
 
f'dmylife

f'dmylife

Member
Jun 3, 2020
12
Then i'll write a note of all my debilitating problems. I'll look at it and hope it's all the inspiration I need. I keep visualizing going there and doing it, but I did a real test several years ago when I drove to the GGB. I didn't go there to die but I stood on the bridge and tried to visualize myself jumping. I couldn't.
That's probably a good idea. I think there's a general feeling of sorrow you can get when you look back and your life has been shit. Depending on how deep that sorrow is will probably determine whether you're going to ctb or not.
 
Close_to_freedom

Close_to_freedom

Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
May 19, 2020
418
That's probably a good idea. I think there's a general feeling of sorrow you can get when you look back and your life has been shit. Depending on how deep that sorrow is will probably determine whether you're going to ctb or not.
My sorrow would be deep. My life has been fucked from the beginning starting with childhood abuse. In my early 20s, I looked good and was attracting women. Then I went bald and no woman has been interested in 10 years. There's so much more than that.
 
f'dmylife

f'dmylife

Member
Jun 3, 2020
12
My sorrow would be deep. My life has been fucked from the beginning starting with childhood abuse. In my early 20s, I looked good and was attracting women. Then I went bald and no woman has been interested in 10 years. There's so much more than that.
Yeah I'm a tragedy. I was super attractive and could have been great with girls but I made some horrible decisions and now I look like shit and can't even look them in the eyes. Im a nervous wreck
 

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