Venting How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

[Deleted member 18655]

(A pointless post, just ignore or humour me)

I found this list on my phone that I started around the same time I joined SS. I could probably double it in length if I tried but I think this covers most of the disaster that is me.

I am:

1. Addicted
2. Afraid of change
3. Annoying
4. Attached
5. Burdensome
6. Careless
7. Childish
8. Clingy
9. Compulsive
10. Critical
11. Cruel
12. Cynical
13. Delusional
14. Demanding
15. Desperate
16. Dishonest
17. Disobedient
18. Dramatic
19. Emotional
20. Emotionally stunted
21. Empty
22. Flakey
23. Foolish
24. (a) Fraud
25. Gluttonous
26. Gullible
27. Hyper
28. Imbecilic
29. Impatient
30. Impulsive
31. Inconsiderate
32. Inconsistent
33. Insecure
34. Insulting
35. Judgemental
36. Juvenile
37. Lazy
38. Liar
39. Lost
40. Lousy
41. Miserable
42. Needy
43. Negative
44. Neurotic
45. Obsessive
46. PATHETIC
47. Pessimistic
48. (a) Phoney
49. Resentful
50. Self-centred
51. Self-destructive
52. Self-indulgent
53. Selfish
54. Stubborn
55. Too much of everything
56. Too sensitive
57. Toxic
58. Undisciplined
59. Unlikeable
60. Unreliable
61. Untrustworthy
62. Useless
63. Weak

 

[marcusuk63]

(A pointless post, just ignore or humour me)

I found this list on my phone that I started around the same time I joined SS. I could probably double it in length if I tried but I think this covers most of the disaster that is me.

I am:

1. Addicted
2. Afraid of change
3. Annoying
4. Attached
5. Burdensome
6. Careless
7. Childish
8. Clingy
9. Compulsive
10. Critical
11. Cruel
12. Cynical
13. Delusional
14. Demanding
15. Desperate
16. Dishonest
17. Disobedient
18. Dramatic
19. Emotional
20. Emotionally stunted
21. Empty
22. Flakey
23. Foolish
24. (a) Fraud
25. Gluttonous
26. Gullible
27. Hyper
28. Imbecilic
29. Impatient
30. Impulsive
31. Inconsiderate
32. Inconsistent
33. Insecure
34. Insulting
35. Judgemental
36. Juvenile
37. Lazy
38. Liar
39. Lost
40. Lousy
41. Miserable
42. Needy
43. Negative
44. Neurotic
45. Obsessive
46. PATHETIC
47. Pessimistic
48. (a) Phoney
49. Resentful
50. Self-centred
51. Self-destructive
52. Self-indulgent
53. Selfish
54. Stubborn
55. Too much of everything
56. Too sensitive
57. Toxic
58. Undisciplined
59. Unlikeable
60. Unreliable
61. Untrustworthy
62. Useless
63. Weak

I think i could tick 80% of those too

 

[Ghost2211]

I like how you put them in alphabetical order.

sorry, morbid humor.

 

[DyingAlf]

I can also tick so many things on your list.
people underestimate how much I hate myself in so many ways.

 

[Meditation guide]

You didn't say manipulative or narcissistic so you're ok in my book.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I like how you put them in alphabetical order.

sorry, morbid humor.

Thanks. I had to. I just had to...

 

[Cherrypea]

If it was my list I'd change hyper to hateful and add narcissistic

 

[Ghost2211]

Thanks. I had to. I just had to...

It's ok, I would too

 

[Meditation guide]

Thanks. I had to. I just had to...

We can file that under compulsive.

 

[Zyntkalla]

I have about a little more then half of them on there.
2,4. It depends on what am doing
8. Material things
35. More Self Judgemental

 

[Deleted member 18655]

If it was my list I'd change hyper to hateful and add narcissistic

I'm open to suggestions! I hate myself too much to be a narcissist. There's nothing in me to take glory or vanity over. That's laughable!!! (I wonder if it would make me less of a doormat if I were a bit narcissistic. hmmm)

 

[XYZ]

G R E A T title for a thread! Absolutely love it!

The Bard never lets you down. If you have a problem, just open his Collected Works and place your finger randomly on a page. You'll find a good quote, or at least a quote you can change a bit to suit your purpose.
(By the way, some people do that with the Bible.)

Unfortunately, I can relate to almost every word on your list.

 

[Meditation guide]

Cruel, inconsiderate, judging and toxic are the worst because they are hurtful to others. If you could stop doing those you would hate yourself less probably.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Cruel, inconsiderate, judging and toxic are the worst because they are hurtful to others. If you could stop doing those you would hate yourself less probably.

I told someone recently (probably a counsellor) that if I talked to or treated anyone else the way I treat myself, I'd be in jail. The reason I stay away from people and have cut off people in my life is to save them from me. I've given up on hating myself less; after decades and decades I don't think it's possible, no matter what I try (and I've tried just about everything). 'Good thing I'm happy as an introvert I suppose.

 

[Meditation guide]

The reason I stay away from people and have cut off people in my life is to save them from me.

So there is one good quality: sparing others the horror of being around you. It's a noble thing to do.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

So there is one good quality: sparing others the horror of being around you. It's a noble thing to do.

Thank you. I wish they saw it that way. I'm seen as overreacting and not respecting the friendships enough to "try." I swear it's the most unselfish thing I can do.

 

[mapletree]

I'm a dumb ass and I try to spare people the horror of interacting with me but that got annoying and required too much effort for my dumb ass so they're just going to have to deal with me for the time being until I figure out how to yeet myself out of this mortal plane, which is just so sad for them, but life is unfair

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm sure you guys aren't as awful as you think you are. You are probably delightful to be around and have a distorted view of yourselves.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

I'm not sure which is more difficult - wanting to ctb and fretting over doing it when everyone was still close or now, having cut off every last person and moping around because they're not in my life (or wanting to be) anymore. I get why people could use ctb to get people's attention (completely unacceptable when I was a teenager). The last hurdle before I get on the bus is to stop wanting to see people I love and longing for them to come calling. I'm getting there.