Help How do I get loved ones to accept my feelings on suicide?

[LoneMisery]

I have not uet set a date but i am about 75% sure i will ctb. The hard part is the guilt ive been dealt for having these feelings. Friends who once called me everyday seem to be a thing in the past. New friends have found my views weird and a cry for help. I hate feeling guilty for wanting to be who i really am because of the people i am hurting, by just simply speaking on who i am.
My question is, are their any right ways to admit and be honest amd to discuss with those that care about you and vice versa.
Thank You, LoneMisery

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

My question is, are their any right ways to admit and be honest amd to discuss with those that care about you and vice versa.

Honestly? No. Because it depends entirely on the person you're talking to.

On one hand, you could shout out your feelings in a very frank and obscene way, and the person might reply "Hey, I feel you!", on the other, you could try to word it as maturely and as calmly as possible and the person might have a meltdown. Even if you know the person you can't really tell how they'll react to this topic because its so polarizing and taboo.

You have to be very careful with this. Use your judgment.

 

[Noctis]

I had a friend who killed herself almost ten years ago. We were very open and honest with each other, and I knew she was going to ctb soon.

I've also told very close people that I want to die, and they've lost their shit. No matter how much you think you know someone, you can never predict how they'll react.

 

[Crazy4u]

if you are 75% sure, it means you are not ready to ctb. Your loved ones won't accept the decision to ctb. There is no point thinking about it.

You are not guilty for feeling suicidal. Life is hard and no wonder more people feel suicidal these days.

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people do not seem to respect the right to die. I do not know of a way to make them accept, non suicidal people will never be able to comprehend what we go through. However I believe that writing a note would give people closure and will mean they are not left with unanswered questions. In my case, it is my life and my decision and it is nothing to do with anyone else, so I do not particularly care what others think. I wish you the best.

 

[Soulless Angel]

I don't think anyone will accept anyone's will and want to take their own life by their own hands, in *normal* society it's frowned upon, I think people can learn to stop nagging you about it, but they will never stop worrying.
I have heavy suicidal days and other days less so, I have attempted in the past, and my husband knows Id rather not be here, but he never mentions it, would rather bury his head in the sand and not have it spoken of

 

[Wails]

All my "close friends" and my parents know about me wanting to die. My parents even know the date for my ctb and also know how I feel like suicide is a personal liberty and autonomy thing for me. How I don't want to be coerced into living anymore, yet they cannot accept it. My "friends" stopped taking to me as soon as I told them and my parents kept trying to convince me not to. So I lied to them all again and gave them false hope that I will not ctb.

From my personal experience, I think most people in our lives can't accept it until it is too late. All we can do is not feel guilty, it isn't our fault that the others in our life cant accept the fact that we're in immense pain and chose to not continue living anymore. I don't mean to downplay the trauma others gain from the suicide of a loved one but what I mean is it'd be so much easier for us to just not feel guilty and cave into coercion of anyone

 

[myopybyproxy]

I would argue that if they react like that when you open up they don't truly care about you. Nobody can change anyone else's mind unless they are open to it. They will come round if and when they are ready. Unfortunately, most of the time it is impossible for me to be honest with people because I know they will react poorly. By that I mean will try to have me sectioned.

If you do continue trying to explain to the people in your life, be careful. The closer you get to being 100% sure you want to die the more frustrating and perhaps traumatising it will be when they finally take you seriously - by committing you to a psych ward. Even if you are 100% sure you do not want to die, imprisonment 'for your own good' is a horrid experience and I advise everyone to avoid it if at all possible. Unless one's goal is to be sectioned, which makes no sense to me but live and let live. Or die and let die, as it were. (I like to think I'm funny.)

 

[LoneMisery]

Thank you all for your honest answers. Im very happy to have found this site. Ive been looking for years.
And ur right i shouldnt do it at 75% sure. I just would like to not be looked at like a crazy person.

 

[Seiba]

In my experience, family will not accept it and will have varied emotional responses and otherwise circular reasoning. They're not capable of being impartial because of the bias of their position, alongside years of societal pressure. I am lucky to have an online person I talk to who is accepting if I choose to leave -- but I know better than to suggest that such people are common.

 

[Foresight]

You mean new friends or family? For new friends, you have to vibe with people on your frequency. It's really that simple in my opinion.

 

[Zzzzz]

Although its difficult not being supported.There's nothing you can do about how other people feel. All you can do is decide which decision is best for you. You are not in any way responsible for how others feel. If they truly understood most suicidal people, They would have no guilt and throw a party at the funeral because the person is no longer suffering and got what they wanted. They have chosen to ride the train they are on. To feel bad and guilty if you suicide is their decision.