Discussion How do i forget horrible things ive seen/read online?

[nonliv]

I won't go into details, but I have severe ocd that makes me Google and research cases of child abuse. Sometimes articles have images, I can't get them out of my mind. I know I can district myself, but I fear that everything I like will always remind me of what I've seen. If I take up drawing, what if that drawing will always remind me of what I saw? So most times after having a mental breackdown I just sleep, what else can I do? I want too ask, is there anyone that has the same problems. Does it get easier? Will I be able to talk/have sex when it heavily triggers me? I just don't want to be alone

 

[Chuuya-Chan ⋆. 𐙚˚]

This is stupidly simply, I've struggled with this too and it mostly will just pass over time, if you're looking that stuff up you should try to distract yourself FROM looking it up in the first place. Worrying and scaring yourself purposely won't do anything. Free yourself from that

 

[nonliv]

This is stupidly simply, I've struggled with this too and it mostly will just pass over time, if you're looking that stuff up you should try to distract yourself FROM looking it up in the first place. Worrying and scaring yourself purposely won't do anything. Free yourself from that

Thank you. I'll try my best too move on. Honestly I feel very tired now, maybe that's for the best. I'm just happy too know I'm not suffering alone

 

[idhayam]

I have many times seen something I shouldn't have seen, especially when I'm trying to watch series on those kind of websites.

Generally I just forget what I've seen with time, I try to never think about it again, and try to close my eyes and exit the site at the first moment when I realise I've seen something that would distress me. Once I saw a distressing image of a severe injury and it flashed back in my head multiple times but now I can't remember what I did see.

 

[nonliv]

I have many times seen something I shouldn't have seen, especially when I'm trying to watch series on those kind of websites.

Generally I just forget what I've seen with time, I try to never think about it again, and try to close my eyes and exit the site at the first moment when I realise I've seen something that would distress me. Once I saw a distressing image of a severe injury and it flashed back in my head multiple times but now I can't remember what I did see.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It feels like being hit in the head and just having to take it. Sending much love

 

[alienfreak]

I have had issues with some specific obsessive/intrusive thoughts. The only way i found to improve it has been to imagine it like a wound that heals only if i try to leave it alone and ignore it. Progress may be so slow that its only noticeable over a time unit of years (for me at least), and might fluctuate, but it is there.

 

[derpyderpins]

One helpful thing imo is to take a moment to consider that the bad thing is real and your response to it is reasonable. We see something horrid, we are repulsed. Really remind yourself of that.

You are not permanently broken by seeing this thing, you are just a moral person with a concious, who of course is upset with it.

It also is natural that you will not be able to force yourself to immediately never think about it again. That will take time, and it's important to remember that it should take time. Nothing is wrong with you for struggling to forget. It's part of the process.

Over time, your reaction when the image/thought flashes in your head will become more measured: "holy shit that's so horrible oh my god what the fuck!", "jesus I can't forget that bad thing, this world is so awful how can anything else mean anything when something is that bad?", then much later "that is a very terrible thing. I'll do my best to reduce the amount of that type of evil in the world."

My point in all this is that the goal is to only be distraught by the thought, which is a natural and normal reaction, and not to become distraught with the thought of the thought, if that makes sense. Working through it will be necessary, so don't waste thoughts on the thought of the thought. Accept the process.

At least, that's my way of thinking.

 

[deadstillwalking]

I have had issues with some specific obsessive/intrusive thoughts. The only way i found to improve it has been to imagine it like a wound that heals only if i try to leave it alone and ignore it. Progress may be so slow that its only noticeable over a time unit of years (for me at least), and might fluctuate, but it is there.

that's actually a great point of view, this can easily help people not only with intrusive and obsessive thoughts but also addictions!

 

[Kali_Yuga13]

You're giving yourself "secondary trauma" by doing these searches. Even hardened police detectives and social workers reach a breaking point when they are exposed over and over to the abuses other's have suffered in their line of work.

 

[nonliv]

I have many times seen something I shouldn't have seen, especially when I'm trying to watch series on those kind of websites.

Generally I just forget what I've seen with time, I try to never think about it again, and try to close my eyes and exit the site at the first moment when I realise I've seen something that would distress me. Once I saw a distressing image of a severe injury and it flashed back in my head multiple times but now I can't remember what I did see.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It feels like being hit in the head and just having to take it.

You're giving yourself "secondary trauma" by doing these searches. Even hardened police detectives and social workers reach a breaking point when they are exposed over and over to the abuses other's have suffered in their line of work.

I know. Just want to move past it since I can't help. Wish I could just have my brain forget things on command

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I have intrusive thoughts about death, moments where I stop what I'm doing and relive horrible memories or imagine the people I love die suddenly and plan what I would do as if I'm living that scenario. It ruins my day and my mood but I feel like I need to do it to prepare myself for the worst. That if I don't do it, something even more terrible will happen and I'm unprepared.

Recently, I've decided to try something a bit weird. I bought a training clicker and I'm trying to train myself to do good behaviors. This is my logic:

1) I feel the need to daydream or remember horrible things
2) I do and I feel terribly sad and hopeless
3) I feel like it was worth it because I'm now more prepared
4) Repeat step 1

So this made me realise that step 3 feels like a reward. So this is my plan now:

1) Feel the need to remember or daydream horrible things
2) I don't do it and feel anxious and worried
3) Immediately do something else, anything
4) Click the clicker to mark this moment and reward myself with a treat or something positive
5) Feel glad for the treat/something positive and associate good things with not doing step 1
6) Repeat

This is basically Pavlov's positive conditioning but not perfect because I have no background in psychology and I'm basically just trying an adapted version of it I guess. I thought that it makes logical sense to me, works with dogs, so may as well give it a try for myself

Felt like sharing since your problem sounds a bit similar to mine, although I imagine having OCD is a much different hell in intensity than what I go through. I hope this helps

 

[LaVieEnRose]

The lack of a voluntary delete function in our brains is such a huge evolutionary oversight