How do I feel better?

[Konjac]

I'm tired of feeling like this, I just want to move on and live a normal life. I'm trying to appreciate everything good I have and when I think about it, life right now is actually going good. But I still feel completely empty and hopeless. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and be back to feeling all stable and somewhat happy but what about next time I feel like this? I'm really on the edge, what if something goes wrong and I just resort to suicide because that's what I'm used to? I don't actually want to die when I stop and consider everything, I just want to stop feeling like this because it's genuinely torture. All I want is to be normal.

 

[Smart No More]

I think this is the kind of case where meds and behavioural advise are likely to be useful. You need to sit and talk with someone that will show a genuine interest and be offered advice specific to your needs rather than generic advice many mental health pro's spout. Do you have a medical system where that's a possibility? Maybe even a helpline would be helpful in the very short term, just to be able to vent and be heard. It works for some even though it may be fleating. It at least might help in the worst moments where you feel overwhelmed. You may find someone here that is open to talking in those moments too. I've seen a few request threads and they've all be answered. Obviously beghars can't be choosers in the heat of the moment though so it's probably worth trying to find someone you get on with that's prepared to chat in the future.

It sounds like you're really trying to make positive steps and genuinely want to enjoy life. It probably doesn't feel like it for you right now but that's half the battle for a lot of people.

Some introspection and asking yourself some challenging questions may be needed to identify what's at the source of your distress because, as you mentioned, things are going well for you so there must be some other reason that you feel empty and hopeless. If it's an external issue then it's definitely something you can work on with behavioural advice. Sounds like there is hope for you for what it's worth. Hopefully that is some source of solace to you in this moment.

 

[Foresight]

Maybe try an exercise of not resisting the empty feeling. Empty is not always bad. It can be spacious. Resisting it and labeling it bad can cause more turmoil. Just observing it can be interesting. For hopelessness I always zoom way in. If the future seems hopeless I just zoom into now. So tomorrow is hopeless but my dog is on my lap and that's fun, things like that.

I personally think it's okay to have suicide in your back pocket. Sometimes it can help you move forward and brave the next day knowing you have multiple paths. Be forgiving to yourself that negative emotions exist in you. I know the sinking feeling of it being all there is all the time though. It doesn't all need to be fixed at once. That's some of the ways I've worked out my own suffering. I don't want to die either. I allow each feeling to be and focus on what I want to do when I can.

 

[isitover010]

Maybe try an exercise of not resisting the empty feeling. Empty is not always bad. It can be spacious. Resisting it and labeling it bad can cause more turmoil. Just observing it can be interesting. For hopelessness I always zoom way in. If the future seems hopeless I just zoom into now. So tomorrow is hopeless but my dog is on my lap and that's fun, things like that.

I personally think it's okay to have suicide in your back pocket. Sometimes it can help you move forward and brave the next day knowing you have multiple paths. Be forgiving to yourself that negative emotions exist in you. I know the sinking feeling of it being all there is all the time though. It doesn't all need to be fixed at once. That's some of the ways I've worked out my own suffering. I don't want to die either. I allow each feeling to be and focus on what I want to do when I can.

i know what you mean, but how is this sustainable and building a life worth living?

 

[Smart No More]

i know what you mean, but how is this sustainable and building a life worth living?

I think the reasoning, if I understand it right is that you first accept those things, giving you a new outlook on them and then over time work through them by forging new feelings and reactions to them.

 

[myopybyproxy]

i know what you mean, but how is this sustainable and building a life worth living?

Good god, get that bloody DBT out of here.

Allright, I';ll just ignore th thread now. Not going to seek out content that makes me upset ./ angry.

 

[Foresight]

The zoom in method helped me build gratitude and released me from trying to control circumstances that were out of my control. My life is being built around creating a healthy relationship with all the feelings that come up and pursing what I want when I can. Sometimes I progress and sometimes I stall out. I've had major stall outs where I sat in a rut seemingly decaying for quite a long time. I create progress when it's possible and try to be open and accepting during the down periods. I know that outside pressures very much so could defeat me, so I need to have a way out planned.

You have to ask yourself what would make life worth living. The answer is so individual and my answer has changed with my circumstances. Luckily, seeing as my interests revolve around art and spiritual matters I'm not entirely opposed to being exposed to some of the less savory aspects of the human condition. I flip the switch on the negative a lot.

 

[motel rooms]

I don't actually want to die when I stop and consider everything, I just want to stop feeling like this because it's genuinely torture. All I want is to be normal.

For people like us, it all boils down to accepting the fact that we aren't "normal". Work with what you have, wishing you were like most people will only make you feel more miserable.