Discussion How do I deal with the fact that my life's been ruined by my parents?

[esistzeit]

The more I educate myself and better understand the reason for my collosal failure in life, the more clearly I see that it's all my parents' fault.

My father made me and ran away. All he wanted was to take the virginity of my stupid mother. He always lived nearby but never even bothered to be a part of my life. If I'm a coward who has nothing in life is because I've been subconsciously following his footsteps.

My mother is the most ignorant and blind person I know. She'll deny the truth that is in front of her face even if it's bathing in evidence. How could she have involved herself with a loser like my father, who already had a son he didn't raise? She had and has no idea of how to be a mother. She ruined me, castrated me, turned a great kid into a pitiful joke of an adult.

I'm a victim of both their stupidity. I hate this so much. I hate them so much for doing this to me.

How does one deal with that? I'd erase them from my life if I could but they've created the weakest person on the planet who cannot do anything about anything.

Does anyone relate? Have you figured this out?

 

[Rational man]

Im sorry that you have this awfulness. I can relate. You see, my parents never really loved each other so their marriage ended awfully. My father was screwed up and My mother was unstable. Surprisingly so I came away at 18 as a man who has had two nice relationships over several Years, despite being bullied, abused and assulted by my mother and brother. I have realised that like so many other millions of kids, what we thought was normal behaviour was in fact dysfunctional behaviour by the very paternal parents who should have loved, encouraged and cared for us. Is it no wonder that many kids have emotional challenges because of faulty parenting!?. None of this is your fault because we were both dealt a card that we had no say in. But Im living proof that you can live with the scars and maybe with help from others, find your own way in this world. Its a shame im now living with an incurable illness now because my life was okay until 3 Years ago.

 

[esistzeit]

Im sorry that you have this awfulness. I can relate. You see, my parents never really loved each other so their marriage ended awfully. My father was screwed up and My mother was unstable. Surprisingly so I came away at 18 as a man who has had two nice relationships over several Years, despite being bullied, abused and assulted by my mother and brother. I have realised that like so many other millions of kids, what we thought was normal behaviour was in fact dysfunctional behaviour by the very paternal parents who should have loved, encouraged and cared for us. Is it no wonder that many kids have emotional challenges because of faulty parenting!?. None of this is your fault because we were both dealt a card that we had no say in. But Im living proof that you can live with the scars and maybe with help from others, find your own way in this world. Its a shame im now living with an incurable illness now because my life was okay until 3 Years ago.

Life truly is a bitch, isn't it? You managed to do it alright despite your unfortunate circumstances and then you get a illness as a reward for your hard work? Fuck me. So sorry, brother

I believe that all the problems in this world can be traced back to bad parenting. Bullying doesn't begin in school, it starts at home; the bully is only doing what he's been taught. And that's the most infuriating part. Of course my mother is an ignorant fuck; growing up in a household with a bunch of illiterate religious nuts, what would you expect? It's her parents fault. And their parents. On and on and on. I just happened to have the worst luck of being born in this sick family.

Better luck next time, I guess...

 

[destinationlosangel]

I'm so sorry bro. This truly is terrible. Some people just should not procreate. In many cases like this, we are brought into an extremely messed up situation and then are expected to fix things ourselves. its not easy but if its possible for u, pls try ur best.

 

[esistzeit]

I'm so sorry bro. This truly is terrible. Some people just should not procreate. In many cases like this, we are brought into an extremely messed up situation and then are expected to fix things ourselves. its not easy but if its possible for u, pls try ur best.

Yeah man, you can say that again. For example, those poor, starving people in Africa; why the duck would they have kids under those circumstances? It all stems from ignorance, not knowing any better. That's why I'd be wise to devote my life to the acquisition of knowledge. The right knowledge can save one's life.

 

[Manfrotto99]

Yes I can totally relate. But i would argue that there is someone weaker on the planet - here. My parents chose my sociopathic sister to be the golden child while I was set up to be the scapegoat of the family. My father and sister constantly criticised and put me down that I had so much low self worth and depression that I could not function successfully in this dog eat dog world no matter how much I tried, I would get torn down by them and everyone else who just saw me as a weak target. Unfortunately I believed there bullshit for way too long and became the very thing they had accused me of, being weak, useless and totally worthless and too dumb to figure any of it out.

 

[LapseInTime]

I can relate... The only reason I try -God knows I fucking do- to not be edgy is that I can't work... I too think that my life could have been good, could have been better. I think that, if it weren't for one event, my life could be decent. Not that it was decent before, I was still depressed, but I think I had a chance. I no longer do. What amazes me is that, most "healthy" individuals love to be their own judge. I suppose this is how they carry on... Mistakes? Nope, they either don't make 'em or there is this thing called "good intentions" and it is the answer to everything. You could ask Hitler if he had good intentions and I bet that, in his mind, he could say "Yes" while taking a lie detector test and the graph wouldn't spike.

Parents...

 

[Willy Wonka]

The more I educate myself and better understand the reason for my collosal failure in life, the more clearly I see that it's all my parents' fault.

My father made me and ran away. All he wanted was to take the virginity of my stupid mother. He always lived nearby but never even bothered to be a part of my life. If I'm a coward who has nothing in life is because I've been subconsciously following his footsteps.

My mother is the most ignorant and blind person I know. She'll deny the truth that is in front of her face even if it's bathing in evidence. How could she have involved herself with a loser like my father, who already had a son he didn't raise? She had and has no idea of how to be a mother. She ruined me, castrated me, turned a great kid into a pitiful joke of an adult.

I'm a victim of both their stupidity. I hate this so much. I hate them so much for doing this to me.

How does one deal with that? I'd erase them from my life if I could but they've created the weakest person on the planet who cannot do anything about anything.

Does anyone relate? Have you figured this out?

I can relate. I should go no contact and try learning to live but I can't cause of financial dependency. I know only failure and it's all their fault. Educated myself a lot about it too...

 

[esistzeit]

I can relate. I should go no contact and try learning to live but I can't cause of financial dependency. I know only failure and it's all their fault. Educated myself a lot about it too...

Exactly the same for me. I would've left years ago if I were able.

Yes I can totally relate. But i would argue that there is someone weaker on the planet - here. My parents chose my sociopathic sister to be the golden child while I was set up to be the scapegoat of the family. My father and sister constantly criticised and put me down that I had so much low self worth and depression that I could not function successfully in this dog eat dog world no matter how much I tried, I would get torn down by them and everyone else who just saw me as a weak target. Unfortunately I believed there bullshit for way too long and became the very thing they had accused me of, being weak, useless and totally worthless and too dumb to figure any of it out.

If only we were wise enough back then, huh? It's the same for me. Had I been smarter, wiser, I could've circumvented my parents' misdeeds. But as a kid, how the f was I supposed to know? By the time I understood it all the damage had already been done. So unfair

 

[Neowise]

I can relate and I had the same exact thoughts. If it weren't for my natcisisstic mother I wouldn't be such a loser. Now I am 28 and could just say "fuck it" and stop being so miserable by pitying myself and actually enjoying my career etc.. But instead I can't get over my past, it constantly hovers over me for no reason and I continue being a loser. I am independent and could forget about it, but my brain won't let me. Whyyy?