jatty
zero emotional regulation
- Nov 13, 2023
- 104
Everyday i wake up and have panic attacks. I have complex ptsd from someone yet I cant think but its my fault.
I feel like its my fault and my flashbacks are just me trying to prevent dealing with my own guilt on how i was wrong, and now i ruined my life because i dropped out of uni, because of the flashbacks, and being triggered. I feel like im just using flashbacks to justify myself. But at the same time it really did hurt me.
I just feel like everything is my own fault. Ive been amazing at school, ive tried so hard to deal with the abuse, and it became too much. and everyone is telling me im ruining my own life, because of my ptsd and how badly im coping with it, but at the same time im trying to do what i think is best for me
A lot of anti-guilt and shame affirmative stuff is really triggering for me too, as its exactly the mindset my abuser would tell themselves to make themselves feel better. And i dont want to be like him.
He dramatically altered the way i see the world and changed my entire psyche, and i genuinely suffered so much, but i keep thinking its my fault, because i did make mistakes, and maybe im reacting to my own problems instead of him.. i dont know.. his personality would be so nice and then neglectful and dismissive.
I feel like im going crazy. And i want to cbt, but i feel like im pathetic and its preventing me, because cbt as a bad person is just abandoning everything and accountability, like he did to me
I feel like its my fault and my flashbacks are just me trying to prevent dealing with my own guilt on how i was wrong, and now i ruined my life because i dropped out of uni, because of the flashbacks, and being triggered. I feel like im just using flashbacks to justify myself. But at the same time it really did hurt me.
I just feel like everything is my own fault. Ive been amazing at school, ive tried so hard to deal with the abuse, and it became too much. and everyone is telling me im ruining my own life, because of my ptsd and how badly im coping with it, but at the same time im trying to do what i think is best for me
A lot of anti-guilt and shame affirmative stuff is really triggering for me too, as its exactly the mindset my abuser would tell themselves to make themselves feel better. And i dont want to be like him.
He dramatically altered the way i see the world and changed my entire psyche, and i genuinely suffered so much, but i keep thinking its my fault, because i did make mistakes, and maybe im reacting to my own problems instead of him.. i dont know.. his personality would be so nice and then neglectful and dismissive.
I feel like im going crazy. And i want to cbt, but i feel like im pathetic and its preventing me, because cbt as a bad person is just abandoning everything and accountability, like he did to me
