justfloating

justfloating

Student
Feb 13, 2020
172
For those of you who have made arrangements, or even just are certain you with CTB, how did you know it was your time ?

Mostly asking in terms of emotional state, but also situational.
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
When the pain is more than any good things in your life.
 
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elfgyoza

elfgyoza

Cursed
Aug 5, 2019
326
You just kind of know, it's hard to describe. When I attempted last summer, I'd never felt so calm leading up to it. I knew I was ready. I didn't feel emotional, I was at peace and the day leading up to it was super chill because nothing mattered anymore.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
For those of you who have made arrangements, or even just are certain you with CTB, how did you know it was your time ?

Mostly asking in terms of emotional state, but also situational.
I guess when you think long enough and In pain for too long. But you just know when you want to CTB by yourself. Are you asking when I'm going to CTB or when I found out I want to CTB
 
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justfloating

justfloating

Student
Feb 13, 2020
172
I guess when you think long enough and In pain for too long. But you just know when you want to CTB by yourself. Are you asking when I'm going to CTB or when I found out I want to CTB
like how you know its the right choice for you ?

also, if you don't mind me asking, when did you decide and when are your plans, like how long is your gap ?
You just kind of know, it's hard to describe. When I attempted last summer, I'd never felt so calm leading up to it. I knew I was ready. I didn't feel emotional, I was at peace and the day leading up to it was super chill because nothing mattered anymore.
I kinda feel at peace with the idea. like im calm about it but im also really scared, hard to explain
 
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T

the_inbetween

Member
Jan 22, 2020
50
Nothing is enjoyable, sluggish, everything takes lots more effort than the usual low.
 
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HorribleFeelings1

HorribleFeelings1

Its a hard knock life
Jan 18, 2020
321
like how you know its the right choice for you ?
We all have different beliefs and morals but suicide is the last choice, it's always a choice but should always be the very last. Once you've exhausted all of your choices then I guess you can look into it. I don't remember exactly when but it was a few months ago, the pain got so much worse and I just thought about suicide since it comforted me and I stuck with it. My method is SN! And my CTB date is this April 4 but I might just CTB anytime this month or March sooo.
 
Marchioness

Marchioness

Eternal sleep
Feb 17, 2020
296
You just kind of know, it's hard to describe. When I attempted last summer, I'd never felt so calm leading up to it. I knew I was ready. I didn't feel emotional, I was at peace and the day leading up to it was super chill because nothing mattered anymore.
Yeah, I attempted and failed a few weeks ago. I was pretty calm as well.
 
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TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,820
After many years of suffering, things getting better (temporarily) only for them to worsen yet again, rinse and repeat, I knew my time is near. I consider myself on borrowed time.
 
Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
640
For those of you who have made arrangements, or even just are certain you with CTB, how did you know it was your time ?

Mostly asking in terms of emotional state, but also situational.
When I realized I probably will never stop feeling this way, whether in small increments or all at once.
 
BPD Barbie

BPD Barbie

Visionary
Dec 1, 2019
2,361
When nothing else mattered, when I stopped caring completely. When nothing felt right or good, when happiness seemed impossible. When it felt like the hole I had dug was now too deep to climb out of and the darkness was suffocating.
 
issyishere

issyishere

Goodnight and always remember that’s life
Nov 5, 2019
441
I stopped finding enjoyment in my hobbies and began using them as a crutch to distract myself from my shitty life. Whenever i loved being asleep and dreaming because it was like being in a new world without any of my problems. Whenever I had nightmares and I woke up I'd initially be relieved than broke down when i remembered what my real life was like.
 
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Largeletters

Largeletters

Alone
Jan 21, 2020
640
I stopped finding enjoyment in my hobbies and began using them as a crutch to distract myself from my shitty life. Whenever i loved being asleep and dreaming because it was like being in a new world without any of my problems. Whenever I had nightmares and I woke up I'd initially be relieved than broke down when i remembered what my real life was like.
Wow, I'm so sorry.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I'm still not sure and don't really want to find out
 
LastRide

LastRide

Specialist
Jan 23, 2020
369
After many years of suffering, things getting better (temporarily) only for them to worsen yet again, rinse and repeat, I knew my time is near. I consider myself on borrowed time.
Hello there you who are on borrowed time....that's me where I am right now ! Health issues are getting worse every week....I just do not want to let them take me by surprise, better get ahead and ctb of my own choice at the time of my own choosing....just makes me feel more in control and makes me happy right now since I know I have a way out and do not need to wait until it just happens to me...I am not scared anyways but I just want to stay in control and not just let it happen to me....
 
ladolcemorte

ladolcemorte

Experienced
May 5, 2019
286
When I realized I had ruined my career. Everything I had worked for over many years. All the financial and emotional sacrifices just gone down the tubes.

That moment when I knew it was irrevocably and irreparably ruined, that is when I booked a flight to my suicide location. The attempt was thwarted and I ended up in the hospital and now I am doing all this therapy, but none of it can salvage the unsalvageable.

The sad thing is, the therapy might have been effective earlier. But now it is too late. I burned it all down. There is nothing to go back to even if I do manage to get well again.
 

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