How did you get over your fear of death?

[littlelambflora]

It is looking more and more like I will have to go. But I am scared. How did you get over your fear of death? I fear the pain of whatever method I decide on, but I also fear death itself, the finality of it, even though my quality of life has been deteriorating steadily. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I want to go be with my sister (she passed when I was very young), but I don't know how to get there, or how to get over this fear. I don't believe in Hell or Heaven, more like a kind of ceasing, but that might scare me most of all even though it's an irrational fear because I won't "be there" to experience it.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

In the past I had a conversation with a user here who's no longer with us. She shared that she was trying to imagine an afterlife that's peaceful, even if it's pure fantasy. Since then I've taken an active interest in cultivating a peaceful fantasy life. I find this helpful.

The spark of the conversation was sharing one of my favorite paintings - The Garden of Death by the Finnish painter Hugo Simberg. It depicts an afterlife where people become plants that are lovingly cared for by death. My pfp is a detail from it.

 

[DeathSkullDude1]

It is looking more and more like I will have to go. But I am scared. How did you get over your fear of death? I fear the pain of whatever method I decide on, but I also fear death itself, the finality of it, even though my quality of life has been deteriorating steadily. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I want to go be with my sister (she passed when I was very young), but I don't know how to get there, or how to get over this fear. I don't believe in Hell or Heaven, more like a kind of ceasing, but that might scare me most of all even though it's an irrational fear because I won't "be there" to experience it.

Just realize you were "dead" for billions of years before you were born. That's the way Mark Twain put it. I don't fear death; I just fear the process because it can get quite nasty and uncomfortable perhaps extremely painful.

 

[Orange Cat]

What helped me was to write out all of my fears about deathone by one in detail and challenge them.

Also I try to keep an open mind about what happens after death. No one knows for certain so I try not to become stuck in just one belief. Explore other beliefs not just the one you were taught when you were growing up. Pick two or three that appeal to you and imagine it when you picture yourself dying.

 

[sugarb]

It is looking more and more like I will have to go. But I am scared. How did you get over your fear of death? I fear the pain of whatever method I decide on, but I also fear death itself, the finality of it, even though my quality of life has been deteriorating steadily. I'm not sure what to do at this point. I want to go be with my sister (she passed when I was very young), but I don't know how to get there, or how to get over this fear. I don't believe in Hell or Heaven, more like a kind of ceasing, but that might scare me most of all even though it's an irrational fear because I won't "be there" to experience it.

Call it delusion, but I sort of just have an extremely strong sense that something good is waiting on the other side. I think about a plain of yellow grass and green trees where a strong wind blows under the afternoon clouds; a more perfect reality. There I have absolute freedom, the ability to translate my thoughts into reality instantaneously, etc. I dunno. Maybe I'm just in a perpetual state of disassociation or I've fallen down a philosophical tunnel. Either way, this world doesn't feel fully real.

 

[yellowjester]

You already practice dying every night when you go to bed. If falling asleep doesn't scare you, there is no reason to be scared of death either. There is no monster hiding beinhd the cuetain, trust me.

If you want to contemplate it until there's nothing left to contemplate, I recommend readimg the short essay To philosophize is to learn to die by Michel de Montaigne. He chooses a method of direct confrontation that I find much more reliable than fantazising about the afterlife. If that doesn't ease your fears, mothing else will.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

If I did I wouldn't be here.

Don't think you'll get much useful advice as this is a clear case of survivorship bias, you're only asking the living for advice.

 

[b1cycle]

If I did I wouldn't be here.

Don't think you'll get much useful advice as this is a clear case of survivorship bias, you're only asking the living for advice.

true lol. Most of the people with the best advice aren't alive to tell us about it. I feel like all the convos here about SI are absurd. If we really overcame SI we'd not be here.

 

[BojackHorseman]

In the past I had a conversation with a user here who's no longer with us. She shared that she was trying to imagine an afterlife that's peaceful, even if it's pure fantasy. Since then I've taken an active interest in cultivating a peaceful fantasy life. I find this helpful.

The spark of the conversation was sharing one of my favorite paintings - The Garden of Death by the Finnish painter Hugo Simberg. It depicts an afterlife where people become plants that are lovingly cared for by death. My pfp is a detail from it.

View attachment 144766

I actually think something kinda similar. I am very much an athiest. I believe in what can be seen and tested. But I do think it might be important to imagine the afterlife is a peaceful happy place.

So think about going to sleep and dreaming. Surely I am not the only one who ever had a dream that felt like only a few seconds, just to wake up and realize its been hours. Or I've had the the complete opposite. So our brain seems to process time differently in a dream like state. The episode of Bojack Horseman when he is drowning in the pool, and his unconscious mind is imagining all the people in his life who died. He sees them all putting on a show. After each one is finished performing, they walk through a door into black nothingness. Bojack is the last to perform, and he tells his friend Herb who was acting as the announcer "See you on the other side." before he is about to walk through the door. Herb chuckles and says "No. There is no other side. This is it. This is just your brain doing what it feels like it needs to do."

That episode made me think. Those moments as your brain dies, what will it be doing? Is it gonna feel like a really long dream, a dream that in reality is only seconds or minutes? If so, what will it be doing? Will our brain be doing the same thing, imagining whatever it thinks its supposed to be thinking? If you have fear or a guilty conscious like Bojack, if you feel like your gonna go to some sort of hell when you die, is that what your brain will imagine as it dies? Can we instead picture peace and happiness as the afterlife so if we do spend time in some sort of dream like unconscious state it will be pleasant one. Obviously I dont think it will be permanent, I dont believe in a real afterlife, but I'm sure it will feel just as real while it happens.

Not sure if any of that made sense. Maybe I'm just crazy, but it makes sense in my head lol Basically I think we are in control of our own temporary, fake "afterlife" depending on our thoughts and emotions.

 

[dinosavr]

I'm not scared of death not even a little bit. I think it happened when I realized how easy it is. I mean, what could go wrong? What I actually am scared of is surviving. This bitch could ruin my life even more.
But death to me became a dream, a goal that I want to achieve (and I will, yaay) and it's something that brings peace to my life. No matter how unbearable the life will become, I always have this option to just let go. It's not easy, for sure, but it's not scary either.

 

[Ash]

I've never been scared of death, at least not since I was a very small child. Growing up on a farm helps. Not just the livestock and seeing young born and a few stillborn, plus knowing where food on the plate comes from and helping to prepare chickens for Sunday dinner from the chicken field to the plate - usually the belligerent cockerels, but also going out on my own little adventures and finding dead animals and even more exciting, skeletons or skeletal remains and realising that it's all just one big cycle. Death is meant to feed the earth so that the next generation can feed on the grass and flowers and fruits - or the animals who feed on them. Without it, everything would wither away and would have done so billions of years ago.

It's not death that scary. Dying - now that can be terrible. And we can plan all we like but very few get to die with dignity or in peace. It's rarely instant or painless. And it's not in our control. Even if we kill ourselves. That's what's scary.

 

[SMmetalhead36]

I'm not afraid of death but only thing I can say is to realize it's a natural part of life. I also agree with @ DeathSkullDude1 and yellowjester.

 

[maka]

Because whatever comes after can't be nearly as horrible as this hell. I'll literally take anything over this life.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Almost all of the responses so far in this thread are Very good.

To get over fear of Death

1. Death is going to happen anyway to everyone and everything so why fear the impending inevitability?

2. After Death is non-existence forever : no chance of pain , problems, suffering ever . I don't see how anyone could fear that non-existence forever = zero pain , no extreme pain ever

Sounds like a good essay downloaded and reading it now:

You already practice dying every night when you go to bed. If falling asleep doesn't scare you, there is no reason to be scared of death either. There is no monster hiding beinhd the cuetain, trust me.

If you want to contemplate it until there's nothing left to contemplate, I recommend readimg the short essay To philosophize is to learn to die by Michel de Montaigne. He chooses a method of direct confrontation that I find much more reliable than fantazising about the afterlife. If that doesn't ease your fears, mothing else will.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Personally, I was never scared of death to begin with because I understand what permanent non existence is. I don't need to experience permanent non existence to understand what it is. I'm not scared of permanent non existence and I instead find it peaceful. It's a big reason as to why I crave death in the first place. What I fear is dying as dying is absolutely awful. It's death that is peaceful but humans have made the pathway to death absolutely hellish