How can there be 300 million people in this country and yet have no buddies?

[Ambivalent1]

This world disgusts me. How come no one in public seems to be lonely? It's like everyone has their people already. Why can't people approach strangers and become friends? This society is trash.

 

[Melancholic_Misfit]

Because people are so very distrustful of other people these days.
Always worrying if that person would harm, jump or take advantage of them.
Nevermind that the world is a big yin yang.

Taking precautions is great, but avoiding others is not.
And certainly not antagonizing people without evidence.
(Not saying you are, I'm talking about the people who accuse others of doing something bad without any evidence backing them. It's so disgusting)

Sometimes people don't want to be friends because "they don't have a reason to"
or it just doesn't work out because one of them feels disinterested and doesn't want to put as much work into it.

I've also noticed that for some whatever reason society (at least online) decided that "approaching strangers" = creepy
Nevermind that even your friends were strangers at one point whom approached you (or vice versa) and became friends that way.

But I totally get what you mean.
It's amazing that people even advanced in technology, industry and other scientific fields but still be so cold and distant with others.
Makes me dislike being part of humanity sometimes.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm pretty lonely but I still wouldn't go about approaching random people to solve it. The risk of being seen as creepy or cringey is far too great and outweighs any potential reward that could occur from stepping out of my comfort zone. I imagine the same or something similar might be true for at least half of all other people.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I'm pretty lonely but I still wouldn't go about approaching random people to solve it. The risk of being seen as creepy or cringey is far too great and outweighs any potential reward that could occur from stepping out of my comfort zone. I imagine the same or something similar might be true for at least half of all other people.

I'm going to try my pharmacist. Idk who else to try. There's a girl at church but she sits far away. Adulthood is fucking bullshit. The loneliness!!!

 

[pollux]

Sorry. It can be hard sometimes. I used to struggle with that too (and still do now). Something that helped me was just trying to get into more hobbies/groups, though it can be hard when you're an adult.

You'll probably be ignored in those things at the start, but over time you might build more friendships. When I entered my current university club, I felt pretty lonely; didn't really know anyone there, and they already were friends, had their own culture etc.

But over time, I started doing more things with them, I tried to volunteer when people needed help, went with them to get lunch/eat and so on. Nowadays we are pretty cool with each other. And I have a pretty loner personality, you might have more success than me if you try.

 

[escape_from_hell]

I walk around in public with tears streaming down my face a few times a week. Nobody gives a fuck. It's not their problem, though, honestly. It just sucks feeling like a fucking demonic ghost.

If my presence is so unwanted and unremarkable, what is the issue with euthanizing me, at least then I'm not an eyesore.

 

[smvrtsa]

honestly, i savour my own loneliness, and i won't let anyone else close. idk if that's the case for random people on the street, but for me, i am actively wanting to die. i'm not looking for friends or romance or anything that could potentially cause me to change my mind, not when it feels like i finally have clarity.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I walk around in public with tears streaming down my face a few times a week. Nobody gives a fuck. It's not their problem, though, honestly. It just sucks feeling like a fucking demonic ghost.

If my presence is so unwanted and unremarkable, what is the issue with euthanizing me, at least then I'm not an eyesore.

Are you a guy or a girl? I've been on the verge of crying before.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Are you a guy or a girl? I've been on the verge of crying before.

I'm a guy. I know the stigma, obviously. But it's not 100% in my control. I literally feel like I'm burning in hell, it's overwhelming. Yet, I still need to get groceries and stuff.
So don't worry. Rest assured nobody cares, they will avoid you. No different than otherwise for me, just looks of disgust and disdain.

 

[kyhoti]

I always try to find my tribe, wherever I go. So, I look for table-top gamers, especially D&D people. Not insta-friends, but it's a start in the right direction for me. Because the OP is spot on. People really are shite most of the time.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I always try to find my tribe, wherever I go. So, I look for table-top gamers, especially D&D people. Not insta-friends, but it's a start in the right direction for me. Because the OP is spot on. People really are shite most of the time.

I don't know what my tribe is. I grew up christian and was obsessed with that but deconverted in my 20s. Then I became obsessed with reading for many years and in my 30s have nothing. I'm just lonely.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do you belong to any clubs? Evening classes, walking groups? Things like that? I think joining things where other people go to socialise would probably be more productive than approaching strangers randomly.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Do you belong to any clubs? Evening classes, walking groups? Things like that? I think joining things where other people go to socialise would probably be more productive than approaching strangers randomly.

I was going to church on Sundays but there's no one to meet. People are there for the service and then leave.

I took day classes last semester but it's all 18 yr olds. Can't relate and they can't relate to me.

 

[DeIetedUser4739]

Everyone's become introverted since phones and social media became mainstream, when I was a kid I'd go to the skate park and made heaps of friends because everyone used to play outside until dinner time.

Apart from joining a football club or something I'd guess volunteering with a charity would put you in contact with other people.

I don't think meeting people randomly on the street was ever a thing, it comes off as creepy/desperate to most people.

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I think it's more to do with special interests. Good data set:

In secondary school between year 7 to year 11 there are probably about 600+ students (boys school). Obviously I didn't know what autism was or that it's a thing but I seemed to like doing my own things (hyper fixating), music (alone) and playing video games (sometimes with others if it was co-op). However I didn't fit in by race (white, black, Asian, etc), nerds, intelligent lot, sports people, populars, outcasts, etc.
Even online now there will be 1 or 2 people that I think are pretty similar but it's worldwide so how are you meant to relate?

I'm sure you've experienced events even in the workplace that act like a high school and you get pushed out because you aren't one of the "lot".

That's probably why.

This world disgusts me. How come no one in public seems to be lonely? It's like everyone has their people already. Why can't people approach strangers and become friends? This society is trash.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Everyone's become introverted since phones and social media became mainstream, when I was a kid I'd go to the skate park and made heaps of friends because everyone used to play outside until dinner time.

Apart from joining a football club or something I'd guess volunteering with a charity would put you in contact with other people.

I don't think meeting people randomly on the street was ever a thing, it comes off as creepy/desperate to most people.

You come across as someone who really was around back then that I could've met.
You're in your 30s, right? A lot of people regardless of age seem like a product of the now and its depressing.

I remember as a teen in the 2000s you could meet women at the mall. Now malls are dead and maybe it'd be inappropriate as a 30 something to make a move anyway. I asked a pharmacist for her number today and she was nice but said she was taken. She looked really flattered though. We had a fun conversation overall. It was nice.