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B

Bruces

Specialist
May 11, 2020
389
How can I push myself to ctb I need to be out of here asap
 
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hʚll

hʚll

not real.
Jun 18, 2021
467
no one will give you a push or reason to ctb here. you have to find that within yourself i think
 
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EraseRewind

EraseRewind

Circling the drain
May 13, 2020
225
I can't say for anyone else, but it's impossible for me to try to ctb without that absolute desperation. I've tried a number of times, increasing the dose each time. (not great at it I know)

The last time I was truly at the lowest I've ever been in my life, I can't even say why it's so bad, but when I had made that decision to go, I was the happiest I'd ever been. My depression and anxiety was gone and I was truly feeling free, I can't describe the feeling well enough, it was only match by the crushing feeling of defeat when I realised I'd failed.

I guess what I'm saying is, at least for me, I don't think you can push yourself into ctb. Sorry.
 
B

Bruces

Specialist
May 11, 2020
389
I can't say for anyone else, but it's impossible for me to try to ctb without that absolute desperation. I've tried a number of times, increasing the dose each time. (not great at it I know)

The last time I was truly at the lowest I've ever been in my life, I can't even say why it's so bad, but when I had made that decision to go, I was the happiest I'd ever been. My depression and anxiety was gone and I was truly feeling free, I can't describe the feeling well enough, it was only match by the crushing feeling of defeat when I realised I'd failed.

I guess what I'm saying is, at least for me, I don't think you can push yourself into ctb. Sorry.
The depression and anxiety lifted when you made that decision?
 
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Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
Good luck
 
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Weary Soul

Weary Soul

Soon I will be free
Nov 13, 2019
1,155
If you need to push yourself, maybe you are not ready?

Please make 150% sure you are ready before you commit to buying that non-refundable bus ticket - there is no going back or changing your mind once you successfully CTB.

<3
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,858
I think a certain level of desperation is needed - well at least in my case for me to go through with it. We might want to die but the SI can stop us. It can be hard to take our lives.
 

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