Venting How can I feel suicidal when I have goals and dreams for my future.

[Vesper_The_Ghost]

I don't really know why I feel this way. My life is extremely good and I know tons of people would kill to be in my place.I have goals and dreams of the future, but nearly every day I think about killing myself. Slowly widdling down my thoughts of the future and becoming really emotional.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

I don't really know why I feel this way. My life is extremely good and I know tons of people would kill to be in my place.I have goals and dreams of the future, but nearly every day I think about killing myself. Slowly widdling down my thoughts of the future and becoming really emotional.

I'm in a similar spot. Don't feel ashamed, it's not your fault or brain was built this way. I'd imagine your suicidality comes from a fear of your dreams going unfulfilled, since that's the case for me. Remember, there's many angles to approach everything, so don't give up after just one try. Sometimes your desired goals will change, which is totally normal. If you discover a career path that's more attainable and desirable, don't be afraid to shift gear. I don't know what your goals are, but hopefully that sort of general advice is relevant in some way.

 

[Ovid]

I am in your same situation. I believe Arteries hit the nail on the head above, i especially relate to the fear of my dreams going unfulfilled - even more so that I may try to fulfill my dreams and fail. What are some of your goals and dreams? It's okay to share the ones you think are "far-fetched" also.

 

[Vesper_The_Ghost]

I am in your same situation. I believe Arteries hit the nail on the head above, i especially relate to the fear of my dreams going unfulfilled - even more so that I may try to fulfill my dreams and fail. What are some of your goals and dreams? It's okay to share the ones you think are "far-fetched" also.

Well in general I want to go to a prestigious college for archetecture even though the school I'm going to right now isn't exactly the worst it could be. I feel like my opportunities are very limited and I don't think I can go to the college I want because of what little me school offers. I'm might just be afraid that I'm not going to enjoy life and it will become a terrible place because of the decisions that I am making right now.

 

[Ovid]

Well in general I want to go to a prestigious college for archetecture even though the school I'm going to right now isn't exactly the worst it could be. I feel like my opportunities are very limited and I don't think I can go to the college I want because of what little me school offers. I'm might just be afraid that I'm not going to enjoy life and it will become a terrible place because of the decisions that I am making right now.

It is okay to be afraid of failure. It means that your goals are real. But never let this fear prevent you from attempting to accomplish your dreams.
When I was in High School, it was a dream of mine to go to a "prestigious college" too, and when I did not get into any, I was very dejected. I realized though, that the opportunities I was looking for still existed in the college I eventually enrolled in.
Do you want to become an architect, or do you want the prestige of attending a certain university? I promise you that you will be just as good an architect as anyone else, no matter where you go to college.
I understand the feeling of having a school that does not offer exactly what you want - but if you are serious about your architectural dreams, there is nothing preventing you from starting your education on your own! It is amazing that you have a goal like that, please pursue it.
My cousin is also in her 2nd year of college studying architecture.

 

[Vesper_The_Ghost]

It is okay to be afraid of failure. It means that your goals are real. But never let this fear prevent you from attempting to accomplish your dreams.
When I was in High School, it was a dream of mine to go to a "prestigious college" too, and when I did not get into any, I was very dejected. I realized though, that the opportunities I was looking for still existed in the college I eventually enrolled in.
Do you want to become an architect, or do you want the prestige of attending a certain university? I promise you that you will be just as good an architect as anyone else, no matter where you go to college.
I understand the feeling of having a school that does not offer exactly what you want - but if you are serious about your architectural dreams, there is nothing preventing you from starting your education on your own! It is amazing that you have a goal like that, please pursue it.
My cousin is also in her 2nd year of college studying architecture.

It's a little of both, I want to be one of the best in the craft and I think that going to a good college is going to be extremely valuable. I also feel like sometimes thinking about the future can be daunting and that's where a source of those thoughts come from.

 

[vak]

Wait until your goals and dreams keep failing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. It gets meaningless after a while, but I envy your energy and outlook.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I want to be one of the best in the craft

I think you put too much pressure onto yourself. Do what you can but don't stress yourself too much bc that can also lead to depressive episodes "burnout". Try to reach your goals there's no need to be always among the best.

For context: I'm more than double your age and although I failed uni I managed to be successful for over 2 decades until I had a big failure that made me suicidal.

You can always consider suicide if everything in life fails. You have goals you wanna reach go for it as long as u can and don't stress yourself too much.

 

[UKscotty]

Plenty of rich and powerful people get struck down with depression and CTB.

Depression does not discriminate, its evil knows no limits.

Some people who we'd think have difficult lives are living happily and fulfilled. You can never know someone's true mental health.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

Well in general I want to go to a prestigious college for archetecture even though the school I'm going to right now isn't exactly the worst it could be. I feel like my opportunities are very limited and I don't think I can go to the college I want because of what little me school offers. I'm might just be afraid that I'm not going to enjoy life and it will become a terrible place because of the decisions that I am making right now.

I don't mean to shoot you down, but I recommend only going for big colleges if there's something only they can offer. They're crazy expensive and since there's a lot of money to be made, the teachers might be driven more by profit than passion. That being said prestigious colleges do look good on resumes and I don't know much about architecture, so there may be something in that field only those colleges offer. I'm just cautious of big colleges in general because I've gotten a ton of value out of less expensive institutes.