How can I develop a sense of self?

[empty sighs]

I don't feel like a real person.

 

[Foresight]

I don't have anything really insightful to share but I know writing is helping me personally. There's nothing special about the writing so no grand expectations of it. It's just flow of thought journaling. It's helping me get back in-touch with my mind in a tangible way through pen to paper. I was so afraid of myself and dissociated from my being when I started that putting words on paper actually scared me. Don't be afraid of emptiness. If you happen to feel empty I would view that as spacious, not something inherently bad.

There are advanced concepts on a lack of sense of self in psychology that I have no training in. I'm not an expert on this. I suffer from dissociative habits that have robbed me of a sense of self and personal work is all I can base my view on. I wish you the best on your journey to self discovery.

 

[Angi]

I get this sometimes, usually while dissociated. When it hits you, you could try staying more connected to the world, some techniques that may be helpful are listed here: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/grounding-techniques.81102/

If it is more of a constant thing, and not something that hits you for a while and then goes away, I would try to find therapy for it. Also, some schools of yoga help you "feel" yourself, maybe you could look into this, too. But I definitely hope this is not what you are describing, because it sounds even more painful than the other option.

 

[timf]

Sometimes excessive self-focus can inhibit identity formation. Seeing individual components can sometimes block seeing an integrated whole (can't see the forest for the trees).

It might be better to find ways to indulge your preferences like movies to watch, books to read, activities you enjoy, and friends whose company you prefer. Often it is in the expression of that which you enjoy that an identity becomes more discernable. You are a unique personality that will express itself in various ways (some good and some bad). As you identify those limiting factors, you can work on improvement.

You want to avoid seeing yourself as a caricature which can happen from the influence of TV and movies. This is particularly common in adolesence where young people attempt to adopt a persona that will help them achieve social success. You already have an identity. As it emerges, you can rest in those traits that you feel comfortable with and work on those that you feel may need improvement.