Help How can I cut myself In a hospital??

[chlorine]

I've been here for two weeks and I have a strong urge to hurt myself. They took my backpack here and found my blades and scalpel and the lighter so I don't have those things anymore. In these days the only thing I could do was to scratch my skin till it bleeds and remove old scabs, but it's just not the same. Yesterday I locked myself in the bathroom and try to strangle myself a bit with my t-shirt but then they unlocked the door and found me and gave me Valium. Then after a while I got back in the bathroom to try and find anything sharp that I could cut myself with, so I took a non functioning light bulb and tried to break it, but it was very hard and I couldn't manage, so they heard the noise and found me again with the light bulb and another noose I had tied to the door. Now I really want to cut myself, I even tried with a pen but it does not work well. Any suggestions??

 

[Macc Lad]

I've been here for two weeks and I have a strong urge to hurt myself. They took my backpack here and found my blades and scalpel and the lighter so I don't have those things anymore. In these days the only thing I could do was to scratch my skin till it bleeds and remove old scabs, but it's just not the same. Yesterday I locked myself in the bathroom and try to strangle myself a bit with my t-shirt but then they unlocked the door and found me and gave me Valium. Then after a while I got back in the bathroom to try and find anything sharp that I could cut myself with, so I took a non functioning light bulb and tried to break it, but it was very hard and I couldn't manage, so they heard the noise and found me again with the light bulb and another noose I had tied to the door. Now I really want to cut myself, I even tried with a pen but it does not work well. Any suggestions??

yes...........accept any help that's offered , take a deep breath and take some time out!

 

[chlorine]

yes...........accept any help that's offered , take a deep breath and take some time out!

Thanks for the advice though I find it very difficult to give myself a break, the only thing I can do to stop my self abusive thoughts is sleeping, but I can't always manage to fall asleep :(

 

[Lara Francis]

Hi
I am sorry to hear you are in hospital.
Are you on a one to one ?
Its near impossible to self harm in hospital,i know your frustrations as i have been in the same situation in the past few weeks myself. X

 

[headinghome]

I've been here for two weeks and I have a strong urge to hurt myself. They took my backpack here and found my blades and scalpel and the lighter so I don't have those things anymore. In these days the only thing I could do was to scratch my skin till it bleeds and remove old scabs, but it's just not the same. Yesterday I locked myself in the bathroom and try to strangle myself a bit with my t-shirt but then they unlocked the door and found me and gave me Valium. Then after a while I got back in the bathroom to try and find anything sharp that I could cut myself with, so I took a non functioning light bulb and tried to break it, but it was very hard and I couldn't manage, so they heard the noise and found me again with the light bulb and another noose I had tied to the door. Now I really want to cut myself, I even tried with a pen but it does not work well. Any suggestions??

They let you keep your phone?

 

[chlorine]

Hi
I am sorry to hear you are in hospital.
Are you on a one to one ?
Its near impossible to self harm in hospital,i know your frustrations as i have been in the same situation in the past few weeks myself. X

Yeah I've just been transfered from emergency unit to psych ward, they went through all my stuff and took my chargers, headphones, even deodorant and shampoos or hoodies.. I don't know how it will be in the next days or how long they'll make me stay here. How has it been for you?

They let you keep your phone?

Yes, but now I have no charger or headphones

 

[chlorine]

I would just try to tough it out. Pretend you are all good to get out faster. Try to relax and count to ten or sing your favorite song or think of your best memory. Let any negative thoughts pass by and block them out.

Thanks for the advice... I'm actually trying to pretend I'm fine, during the day I can mostly stay calm/apatethic but sometimes I have breakdowns I just can't help.. I feel stupid for not being able to control myself, and since I'm a minor I have educators guarding me 24/7, I can't even stay alone in the bathroom for too long before they force their way in..

 

[headinghome]

I would just try to tough it out. Pretend you are all good to get out faster. Try to relax and count to ten or sing your favorite song or think of your best memory. Let any negative thoughts pass by and block them out.

yes just do what they say act positive even if you aren't and you will get
out faster

 

[chlorine]

yes just do what they say act positive even if you aren't and you will get
out faster

Thanks, I'm trying my best.. But in the end it doesn't even matter since I'll be put in an institution not too long from now, and I'll have to stay there for at least a month no matter how positive I look, and I won't even have my cellphone so no contacts (not that I even have any right now, but at least this websites kinda helps relate..)

 

[headinghome]

Thanks, I'm trying my best.. But in the end it doesn't even matter since I'll be put in an institution not too long from now, and I'll have to stay there for at least a month no matter how positive I look

Well it sounds like you are young… As long as you have to be there and there's no way for you to get out you might as well tell yourself that you are going to take advantage of the situation… None of us wants to suffer none of us want to feel bad.....suicide isnt right for everyone and it isn't necessary for everyone to feel better and have a life.... you sound like an interesting person maybe you should try and see how it goes and then you still have the option if you don't like the results… All I can say is if I didn't have this physical injury there's no way in hell that suicide would even be a part of my vocabulary let alone an action I would consider!!!

 

[chlorine]

Well it sounds like you were young… As long as you have to be there and there's no way for you to get out you might as well tell yourself that you are going to take advantage of the situation… None of us wants to suffer none of us want to feel bad.....suicide isnt right for everyone and it isn't necessary for everyone to feel better and have a life.... you sound like an interesting person maybe you should try and see how it goes and then you still have the option if you don't like the results… All I can say is if I didn't have this physical injury there's no way in hell that suicide would even be a part of my vocabulary let alone an idea

Thanks for your kind words, even though I tried not to be, being suicidal to me is almost like an automatic response to even minimal stress, it's how I've learnt to react to things after being fed up with all the bullshit and rejection/failure I've gone through, even though I'm not that old and I'm sure many people have it way worse that I do.. It's just the way I'm wired or something. I guess I can't do anything about it. I do have moments of relative tranquility but they are always very temporary and I always find myself tormented by my own thoughts. I really wish I was different.

 

[JadedGray]

Sorry to hear what you're going through. Being in a psych hospital is hell on earth. It might help to talk to other patients (a lot of time they are more helpful than the staff, as they at least know what you're going through) or trying to journal (it can help getting your thoughts and feelings on paper). Anything to distract yourself from your environment for the time being.

 

[Lara Francis]

Yeah I've just been transfered from emergency unit to psych ward, they went through all my stuff and took my chargers, headphones, even deodorant and shampoos or hoodies.. I don't know how it will be in the next days or how long they'll make me stay here. How has it been for you?

Yes, but now I have no charger or headphones

Hi
I hope you are coping in what is what must be a frightening environment.
We are here for you.
I am discharged,i am not sure how long for as i feel just as sucicidal as i did before.
I found the whole experience very restrictive.I was refused leave many times and kept on the ward.I did break their trust by running off whilst supervised by a member of staff outside though - so i guess i should of expected this.
I feel your despiration but the as hard as it is ,just try and keep your head down,dont get involved in other patients problems and you will be discharged sooner than later.dont give them any more reasons to keep you longer.
I wish u luck and hope you are able to leave soon.x