How badly do you want to die?

[itsallover]

Every time I go to the clinic they ask how bad my pain is. Even when I wrote ten the jackass of a doctor was like you don't look like you're in that much pain. Then why the fuck would you ask the question then. What do you expect me to do? Start wailing and crying so then you can say okay it's a 10 now. I'm hoping I can get some honesty here to that question. How badly do you want to die on a scale of 1 to 10. I would say I'm at a 9 because I still have that small hope left that somehow surgery will fix me. I think if you say 10 then you wouldn't be posting, you'd already be hanging somewhere. I imagine most of your numbers will be pretty high. I'm interested to see what most people say. If you can the reason why would be appreciated too. Thank you.

 

[Ben]

I think if you say 10 then you wouldn't be posting, you'd already be hanging somewhere.

Not really a fair thing to say. The "want to die" is shared by everyone here. To start comparing it by numbers and judging people based on them, is a bad idea. It takes away credibility from people who have failed regardless of their feelings.

I'd say everyone here is at a 10. 10 being the want to die.

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

i want to be dead but i dont want to die

 

[itsallover]

i want to be dead but i dont want to die

Can you explain that to me please? What exactly is holding you back? If I woke up feeling healthy then the first thing I would do is go out job hunting, yet I sit here stuck till the next doctor's appointment and test. This next with the surgeon is where I draw the line. Doctors can have you running around forever even if your life isn't worth living. What would have to change for you to move on with life?

 

[Wantingpeace]

The last thing want to do is die but i cannot see how to live.

 

[Wantingpeace]

Want to die - 0 have to die -10 terror of death - 10

 

[Deivis]

We die every night when we go to sleep...

You dont remember your 7-8-9 hours of sleep. Just some random pictures from the past.

We all want to just close eyes forever and never wake up.

 

[Halvah]

The last thing want to do is die but i cannot see how to live.

that sounds like me

 

[Wantingpeace]

that sounds like me

truly awful place

 

[Dani Paradox]

I'm definitely a 10. I would have been dead quite some time ago. The only reason I'm still here is because I can't get past the tingling I experience when hanging. I know it's only about 8 seconds to unconsciousness, but it's extremely difficult. That's why I am happy to have finally decided on CO, so I can just get drunk and fall asleep in my tent. I just need a bit more money for alcohol and charcoal. Shouldn't be too long. Then I'm out. But I am definitely a 10.

 

[Josh227]

I dont want to die at all. I havnt done even 1% of what I wanted to do. I have no choice.

 

[Miss clefable]

My pain can't be defined by numbers it's meaningless I will die anyway

 

[Wantingpeace]

I dont want to die at all. I havnt done even 1% of what I wanted to do. I have no choice.

Yep..

 

[Halvah]

that sounds like me

truly awful place

It's so bad - I shake, hit myself, can't eat - down over 40 lbs. and I still can't bring myself to feel hungry. I thought I would find an easy way to die, but no one has any ideas. So what do I do?? I've seen therapists, take all kinds of medicine, called hot lines so many times its embarrasing -still no idea how to kill myself without pain. Looks like there isn't any help anywhere

 

[Miss clefable]

It's so bad - I shake, hit myself, can't eat - down over 40 lbs. and I still can't bring myself to feel hungry. I thought I would find an easy way to die, but no one has any ideas. So what do I do?? I've seen therapists, take all kinds of medicine, called hot lines so many times its embarrasing -still no idea how to kill myself without pain. Looks like there isn't any help anywhere

I hit myself too

 

[Halvah]

It's so bad - I shake, hit myself, can't eat - down over 40 lbs. and I still can't bring myself to feel hungry. I thought I would find an easy way to die, but no one has any ideas. So what do I do?? I've seen therapists, take all kinds of medicine, called hot lines so many times its embarrasing -still no idea how to kill myself without pain. Looks like there isn't any help anywhere

 

[Wantingpeace]

It's so bad - I shake, hit myself, can't eat - down over 40 lbs. and I still can't bring myself to feel hungry. I thought I would find an easy way to die, but no one has any ideas. So what do I do?? I've seen therapists, take all kinds of medicine, called hot lines so many times its embarrasing -still no idea how to kill myself without pain. Looks like there isn't any help anywhere

I hope you feel better.

 

[Halvah]

I hit myself too

If you lived near me we could do it together.

 

[Halvah]

I hope you feel better.

That seems to be impossible.

 

[Wantingpeace]

That seems to be impossible.

For me also..

 

[Miss clefable]

If you lived near me we could do it together.

I'm from England I'll probably let you punch me to death

 

[Trashcan]

I help out at the ER once a week. If people are wailing, crying, or moaning in pain, people are like "they're being dramatic." But if you say 10 and aren't doing those things, apparently you're being dramatic as well.

I would say around a 7 or 8. I want to die but being scheduled for work tonight is the reason I'm not doing it. I work alone and don't want to let anyone down. But if it wasn't for work, I'd go ahead and do it right now. I'm home alone right now. Hopefully I'll also have this opportunity next week but without being scheduled to work.

 

[livingisloathing]

personally not enough. im still alive after all

 

[friendly99]

I want to die but I lack the courage to do so

 

[Nightmare]

you cannot rate it... i would die in the first time my pain gets awful which means i would suicide any day i access the means,
i want to die but i can't seem to find an accessible method that wont have a chance to end me up alive i cannot just convince myself to attempt until then as i don't want to still cry in bed when i wake up i don't want to beg the heartless to kill me not to include the pain i'll suffer after surviving a fatal statue...
i would really appreciate someone to kill me out of mercy ):

 

[Shay]

Sad part is I don't want to. I have to. There's no way a woman can live on this planet with no hair. Men can get away with it but a woman is seen as broken and less than. People pity her and I would never want to be pitied or be a freak of nature.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Sad part is I don't want to. I have to. There's no way a woman can live on this planet with no hair. Men can get away with it but a woman is seen as broken and less than. People pity her and I would never want to be pitied or be a freak of nature.

:( I'm sorry you have to go through that :( It must be horrible. What happened?

 

[itsallover]

Thank you for all the responses. At least I'm not the only one who wants to live but feels that they have to die.

 

[Dani Paradox]

Thank you for all the responses. At least I'm not the only one who wants to live but feels that they have to die.

I didn't mention that, but I also do not want to die. At all. I feel like I have no choice, and that's why I'm a 10.

 

[ctkmtt]

I'd say I'm an 8. I actively want to die, the idea excites me, piques my curiosity. I just haven't the means to do it. Maybe I lack courage too, but I definitely lack resources.