How are your conversation skills?

[LuzurPhagget]

I think I have some kind of dementia or something. I'm only 28, but fuck, looking at the dementia checklist, if the shoe fits. I remember I brought up the term aphasia to my campus doctor like 5 years ago and he pretty much chuckled it off saying it was impossible at my age.
There's no goddamn way it's just psychological. There's no way it's just anxiety and depression. I'll admit, when the anxiety gets piled onto the depression I become some kind of psychological soup-sandwich mess and it just exacerbates shit, but no way it can get this bad. It's gotta be some kind of dementia.
Speaking is very difficult. Can't hold a conversation to save my life. Firstly, I have no enthusiasm about anything and anything I talk about is a hollow distraction/ lie to cover up. And secondly, I can't come up with the right words and I forget and I constantly mispronounce them. I sound fucking retarded (no offense). I feel grateful when I can actually get out an articulate non-fucked up sentence (which is a rare occurrence). Even listening and following conversations/instructions is VERY trying. Hard to understand. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is trying to confuse me. I dunno.
I just minimize contact with everyone, keep conversation to a brief smile and hello and try not to initiate anything and take solace that it may all be over within a month.
This is bullshit.

 

[nothingleft]

Pretty good when I'm feeling "normal" but near impossible when I'm as depressed as I am currently. I'm as shut down mentally as I've ever been. That's what makes trying to get out of this so difficult.

 

[marconk]

There's no way it's just anxiety and depression.

Maybe it is, I've read somewhere that depression can be hard on the brain and verbal intelligence. Like you, I have a hard time coming up with the right words and it's really frustrating. I don't know about your situation but in my case I think it's exacerbated by isolation (-> lack of practice) and mixing up various languages.

Can't hold a conversation to save my life. Firstly, I have no enthusiasm about anything and anything I talk about is a hollow distraction/ lie to cover up. [...] Even listening and following conversations/instructions is VERY trying. Hard to understand.

Yeah... I can't fake enthusiasm anymore and my concentration is shot. Smalltalk is so hard, and so is following conversations. This is really becoming an issue, I don't know what I'm going to do.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Pretty good when I'm feeling "normal" but near impossible when I'm as depressed as I am currently. I'm as shut down mentally as I've ever been. That's what makes trying to get out of this so difficult.

Do you have anxiety too? I'll admit, a lot of my energy is directed in maintaining a "normal" composure and trying to appear like everything is ok.

 

[Qdv]

I think I have some kind of dementia or something. I'm only 28, but fuck, looking at the dementia checklist, if the shoe fits. I remember I brought up the term aphasia to my campus doctor like 5 years ago and he pretty much chuckled it off saying it was impossible at my age.
There's no goddamn way it's just psychological. There's no way it's just anxiety and depression. I'll admit, when the anxiety gets piled onto the depression I become some kind of psychological soup-sandwich mess and it just exacerbates shit, but no way it can get this bad. It's gotta be some kind of dementia.
Speaking is very difficult. Can't hold a conversation to save my life. Firstly, I have no enthusiasm about anything and anything I talk about is a hollow distraction/ lie to cover up. And secondly, I can't come up with the right words and I forget and I constantly mispronounce them. I sound fucking retarded (no offense). I feel grateful when I can actually get out an articulate non-fucked up sentence (which is a rare occurrence). Even listening and following conversations/instructions is VERY trying. Hard to understand. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is trying to confuse me. I dunno.
I just minimize contact with everyone, keep conversation to a brief smile and hello and try not to initiate anything and take solace that it may all be over within a month.
This is bullshit.

Wow, youre describing exactly what I go through on the daily. Im sorry you also experience this, it truly feels debilitating

 

[Temporarilyabsurd]

You seem humorously self deprecatingly aware ... unless I am reading too much into it ?

Maybe you are trying to process too much soup for your sandwich ?

I mentioned on another thread ( to thunderous applause /s ) that it wasn't untill my fifties that I discovered a
demarcation between :
1 Existential angst ; " I'm gonna die and I'm terrified" .
and
2 My childhood traumatized the fuck out of me and I had just been drinking the neurosis away to dull the horror.

( That's just my own personal buzz ,as an example of processing ... )

I've found it helpful to start to casually ( 'cos lazy ) build some awareness of the various psychological models
( I'm exaggerating here ... just web surfing and audio books , but , something .)

Just my 2 cents ...
Hope you haven't got the dementia thing though of course .

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Maybe it is, I've read somewhere that depression can be hard on the brain and verbal intelligence. Like you, I have a hard time coming up with the right words and it's really frustrating. I don't know about your situation but in my case I think it's exacerbated by isolation (-> lack of practice) and mixing up various languages.


Yeah... I can't fake enthusiasm anymore and my concentration is shot. Smalltalk is so hard, and so is following conversations. This is really becoming an issue, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Unbelievable. If depression/anxiety were just low mood/sadness it would be somewhat tolerable but the fact that it fucks with basic cognitive functioning makes it un-fucking bearable.

Wow, youre describing exactly what I go through on the daily. Im sorry you also experience this, it truly feels debilitating

Really? I'm sorry to hear too. *shoulder pat*

 

[Pykul]

I think I have some kind of dementia or something. I'm only 28, but fuck, looking at the dementia checklist, if the shoe fits. I remember I brought up the term aphasia to my campus doctor like 5 years ago and he pretty much chuckled it off saying it was impossible at my age.
There's no goddamn way it's just psychological. There's no way it's just anxiety and depression. I'll admit, when the anxiety gets piled onto the depression I become some kind of psychological soup-sandwich mess and it just exacerbates shit, but no way it can get this bad. It's gotta be some kind of dementia.
Speaking is very difficult. Can't hold a conversation to save my life. Firstly, I have no enthusiasm about anything and anything I talk about is a hollow distraction/ lie to cover up. And secondly, I can't come up with the right words and I forget and I constantly mispronounce them. I sound fucking retarded (no offense). I feel grateful when I can actually get out an articulate non-fucked up sentence (which is a rare occurrence). Even listening and following conversations/instructions is VERY trying. Hard to understand. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is trying to confuse me. I dunno.
I just minimize contact with everyone, keep conversation to a brief smile and hello and try not to initiate anything and take solace that it may all be over within a month.
This is bullshit.

Anxiety and depression can add to it, and it is also a symptom of serotonin syndrome. You might look into that if you are taking any SSRI.

 

[snowman626]

I am socially retarded. cant hold a conversation, mispronounce words, wrong grammar, awkward weird pauses, inconsistent random body movements, and frequently going off topic without realizing. Gets 10x worse when talking to beautiful women or authority figures.

Example:

Hot girl - Hey you just moved in next door, how are you liking the place?

Me - quite ok, not going to, just saying that ill take it better than my older place. Its better

Hot girl - see you around

Me - thanks

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I am socially retarded. cant hold a conversation, mispronounce words, wrong grammar, awkward weird pauses, inconsistent random body movements, and frequently going off topic without realizing. Gets 10x worse when talking to beautiful women or authority figures.

Example:

Hot girl - Hey you just moved in next door, how are you liking the place?

Me - quite ok, not going to, just saying that ill take it better than my older place. Its better

Hot girl - see you around

Me - thanks
[/QUOTE]

Lmao. Sorry but that made me laugh. Sounds like me. I'd probably say something slightly dumber like "just saying that ill take it better than my older PACE."

The thing is, I don't even think I'd be really THAT nervous talking. My brain is just fukked I guess.

 

[Shakespear's Brother]

Pretty shitty. My brain is all over the place so what comes out of my mouth is often circumstantial and my manner of speech is very pressured so I sound a mess.

 

[Astral316]

I can only converse with people who are paid to give me attention... nurse, therapist, psychiatrist... there has to be definite purpose behind the conversation or my mind draws a blank. Holding a conversation with anyone else is just about impossible... and I never got much enjoyment out of socializing.

 

[alexithymia]

I can only converse with people who are paid to give me attention... nurse, therapist, psychiatrist... there has to be definite purpose behind the conversation or my mind draws a blank. Holding a conversation with anyone else is just about impossible... and I never got much enjoyment out of socializing.

I completely relate to this.

 

[ImSorryEmma]

mine aren't really the best I have to get speech therapy to improve them

 

[JimFord99]

Absolute shite when it comes person to person. I am OK here typing and not talking and socialising.

 

[Jolene40]

Despite being so physically unwell and having extreme pain and anxiety and nerves firing off I can hide things relatively ok and have minimal convos.
I find myself now calling strangers awful things in my mind or under my breath mainly to try distract myself from the agony and prob as my brains turning cabbage. It does make me feel better. Every one I walk past is a c u next Tuesday, or go f yourself in my mind. Quite entertaining for me

 

[Sunset Limited]

Similar things. Are you worried they might get bored when you talk to someone?

 

[JimFord99]

Similar things. Are you worried they might get bored when you talk to someone?

Yes. And it happens.

 

[Sunset Limited]

Yes. And it happens.

Every time I say to myself, you shouldn't care. I think it's the impact of my childhood traumas.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I can only converse with people who are paid to give me attention... nurse, therapist, psychiatrist... there has to be definite purpose behind the conversation or my mind draws a blank. Holding a conversation with anyone else is just about impossible... and I never got much enjoyment out of socializing.

Yeah, it's like for once, I can be honest and not put up a front

 

[Suicidal4Ever]

0-10 convo skills a solid 4 lol

 

[sadgirl2002]

I have to force myself to hold a conversation but I'm honestly awful at keeping it going. A lot of the time, I'm not bothered and don't want to put effort into talking, it depends who I'm speaking to, though. My mind goes blank a lot and I have the habit of sleeping in my head. Just three days ago, I went up to a guy whom I've crossed paths with many times during my morning walks. I was walking and I started getting heart palpitations, my stomach felt queasy and I was struggling to breathe calmly. I, sort of, thought he was the guy I usually see and he looked like him but when I was around five steps away as I was speaking to him, his face looked different even though I've seen him many times. I looked like an idiot when I apologised and said he was the wrong person. When I got home, I realised it was indeed the guy I have seen regularly walking there. The first time I spoke to him, I got the racing heartbeat, nausea feeling and my mind literally went blank. I don't know what the hell that means.

 

[woxihuanni]

Good, the problem is the patience I need in some interactions, which ALWAYS blows up in some way later on. If I had such a strong position in life that nobody could easily hurt me, I'd just always speak my mind. I so admire @Blackjack, there is a courage and frankness there that does not care if you mean well, but still calls out your bullshit.

It's amazing how people don't clue in on what a tight smile means, either. For instance it can mean, 'Look, you have shown me about a zrillion rat-sized dogs and interrupted a zrillion moments to show them. I know you want a dog. I love dogs, in fact, I love wolves. The creatures you are showing me, though they are innocent and I mean them well, are unpleasant to my senses. I love wolves, do you hear, not rat-sized progeny of them? I told you this, why don't you listen? I am never pleased to be distracted or forced to look at something or be pressured to act like a brain-damaged teenage cunt and say it's cute like you want me to. You know why I love your sibling incomparably better than you, though you are a 'nice' person and they are not? It's because your sibling is not a fucking annoying idiot, that's why.'

Just for illustration, nothing to do with real life events.

 

[Blackjack]

Good, the problem is the patience I need in some interactions, which ALWAYS blows up in some way later on. If I had such a strong position in life that nobody could easily hurt me, I'd just always speak my mind. I so admire @Blackjack, there is a courage and frankness there that does not care if you mean well, but still calls out your bullshit.

It's amazing how people don't clue in on what a tight smile means, either. For instance it can mean, 'Look, you have shown me about a zrillion rat-sized dogs and interrupted a zrillion moments to show them. I know you want a dog. I love dogs, in fact, I love wolves. The creatures you are showing me, though they are innocent and I mean them well, are unpleasant to my senses. I love wolves, do you hear, not rat-sized progeny of them? I told you this, why don't you listen? I am never pleased to be distracted or forced to look at something or be pressured to act like a brain-damaged teenage cunt and say it's cute like you want me to. You know why I love your sibling incomparably better than you, though you are a 'nice' person and they are not? It's because your sibling is not a fucking annoying idiot, that's why.'

Just for illustration, nothing to do with real life events.

The beauty of knowing you're dying is you're no longer capable of bullshit.

 

[RedPanda]

Decent, maybe 7/10 i can talk to strangers and hold conversations but i'm not a very interesting person so people tend to get bored.

 

[Luchs]

I think I have some kind of dementia or something. I'm only 28, but fuck, looking at the dementia checklist, if the shoe fits. I remember I brought up the term aphasia to my campus doctor like 5 years ago and he pretty much chuckled it off saying it was impossible at my age.
There's no goddamn way it's just psychological. There's no way it's just anxiety and depression. I'll admit, when the anxiety gets piled onto the depression I become some kind of psychological soup-sandwich mess and it just exacerbates shit, but no way it can get this bad. It's gotta be some kind of dementia.
Speaking is very difficult. Can't hold a conversation to save my life. Firstly, I have no enthusiasm about anything and anything I talk about is a hollow distraction/ lie to cover up. And secondly, I can't come up with the right words and I forget and I constantly mispronounce them. I sound fucking retarded (no offense). I feel grateful when I can actually get out an articulate non-fucked up sentence (which is a rare occurrence). Even listening and following conversations/instructions is VERY trying. Hard to understand. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is trying to confuse me. I dunno.
I just minimize contact with everyone, keep conversation to a brief smile and hello and try not to initiate anything and take solace that it may all be over within a month.
This is bullshit.

I'm actually really great at leading conversations, it's just that I don't really want to talk too much.

 

[scorpiooo2]

My conversation skills are absolutely awful, I sound crazy when I try and talk to people. I just prefer to stay silent

 

[not from here]

I just get a crazy look in my eyes and smile a lot. And try to divert the conversation to outlandish things. I don't know why, I think it's because I am looking for my people. Everyone hates me eventually btw.

 

[woxihuanni]

I just get a crazy look in my eyes and smile a lot. And try to divert the conversation to outlandish things. I don't know why, I think it's because I am looking for my people. Everyone hates me eventually btw.

Ahah, give us an example. :)

 

[Pykul]

I just get a crazy look in my eyes and smile a lot. And try to divert the conversation to outlandish things. I don't know why, I think it's because I am looking for my people. Everyone hates me eventually btw.

You certainly seem to express yourself quite well in writing.