I am dead inside. The only passion left is for reading and writing.
I haven't been able to go to the gym or keep on my diet, consistently at least, for months.
Current circumstances are pushing me toward ctb but I'm extremely particular about how I go. Mostly because I really only get one shot at this. If I fail, it's going to be eternal stigma, medical bills, and being trapped in a much worse version of this life.
So, right now, I'm letting life beat the shit out of me while I try to cope, hoping that I'll find that one guaranteed way to ctb. Like fate.