How are you suicidal but planning to ctb in a year

[Alonelyuser]

I'm not judging anyone on here I'm just confused to see a lot of people saying they want to kill them selves and are planning doing it in years... usually people who want to die want to die at this exact moment of time but hey I'm not judging just a little curios I guess I don't understand how that works..

 

[JustcallmeChris]

Suicide is viewed as an impulsive action but it's not, suicide isn't a thing people do immediately when they feel they want to. It takes planning and it needs to happen at a time when you feel like you can fully commit and not be saved.

 

[Roph]

Suicide is viewed as an impulsive action but it's not, suicide isn't a thing people do immediately when they feel they want to. It takes planning and it needs to happen at a time when you feel like you can fully commit and not be saved.

^This. Exactly.

 

[Alonelyuser]

Suicide is viewed as an impulsive action but it's not, suicide isn't a thing people do immediately when they feel they want to. It takes planning and it needs to happen at a time when you feel like you can fully commit and not be saved.

True .

 

[Maravillosa]

As one of the people on SS who wants to ctb years in the future (after my mother's death, in my case), I see it as something I must delay in order to not devastate my mother and force her to enter a convalescent home (which she would hate). Also, I need to plan the circumstances of my demise very carefully in order not to be saved against my will.

 

[TheLastTrip]

I've been on both sides of the fence so I can understand both views.

Some people are so miserable or in pain (physical or emotional), their day to day life is so intolerable that they need to escape NOW. I was like that from ages 11 - 18, come back from school and get straight on with researching (no decent internet back then) how to end my life and making lots of attempts.

Other people who can plan might be tired of life, which is a different kind of suffering, or not be in a position where they can die now (dependents, location problems, carers etc) but allows for much more involved planning. For instance I am taking my time because I want to make sure all my affairs are wrapped up and my family don't have to deal with anything/too much. Don't get me wrong, some days I would quite happily just end things now, but I have a plan and I am sticking to it.

 

[Rocky M]

Most of the suicidal people I know want to plan things out to ensure success. Unfortunately, there will always be a possibility of failure no matter how long your planning goes, but to each their own

 

[Mud.]

Personal reasons and circumstances probably play the largest role.

Some people want to die because of their mental condition, others because of their physical condition. I belong firmly in the second group and my physical health at this moment gives me just enough room to still enjoy life once in a while. I know that my health will deteriorate however, and that there will come a moment when enjoyment will no longer be possible.

That's when I plan to end myself. I don't view life as a race where you have to make it to the finish line (old age) no matter what. I want to die with dignity in my own home while I'm still in full control and without any doctors present. I've been ill for a long time. I'll recognize the moment.

In the meantime, I stay away from new emotional bonds. I'm forty four. My longest relationship lasted for 10+ years and when it ended 3 years ago, I decided not to pursue a new one. The same goes for friendships. I want to leave as little pain behind as possible.

All practical planning is long done. Because I've been ill for so long I've even managed to save some money and boy, am I going to spend it :) I plan on making some luxurious trips when the moment draws nearer. I need the luxury because it's not easy travelling with my condition but I fully plan to enjoy it too.

I've also got some other reasons to stick around. The first couple of lines of Maravillosa's post in this thread hit very close to home. My mother is terminally ill. My father is dead, I don't have siblings, and we hardly have any contact with our family. There's no way I'm leaving her behind alone.

So that's why I'm not in a hurry..

btw
I want to add that I fully respect and emphasize with people who suffer mentally and who feel that they can't wait even a minute longer. This is one hell of a world. So not a second do I want to imply that their reasons are less valid than mine. Just different…

 

[Sick Boy]

It takes 6 months to research the painless and lethal ways to ctb and another 6 months to get the courage to finally do it

 

[worldexploder]

Personally for me, I'd be gone tonight if I had the N, nitrogen, or a shotgun. Right now, the only methods I have at my disposal would take an incredible amount of courage to complete. I already failed twice. Killing yourself is hard and not something I'd do on an impulse.

 

[Lifeisatrap]

Where does this myth come from that suicide is somehow easy? It isn't, there are significant barriers you have to cross, both biological and circumstantial. I've attempted before and failed. Don't want to risk failing again, possibly even more miserably. It sucks because if it were up to me I'd be long dead. I wish suicide was as easy as just willing yourself dead as alot of people seem to think it is.

 

[Alonelyuser]

Where does this myth come from that suicide is somehow easy? It isn't, there are significant barriers you have to cross, both biological and circumstantial. I've attempted before and failed. Don't want to risk failing again, possibly even more miserably. It sucks because if it were up to me I'd be long dead. I wish suicide was as easy as just willing yourself dead as alot of people seem to think it is.

Lol who said it was easy ? If it was easy as it looks I wouldn't be on this site in the first place .

 

[Alonelyuser]

Personally for me, I'd be gone tonight if I had the N, nitrogen, or a shotgun. Right now, the only methods I have at my disposal would take an incredible amount of courage to complete. I already failed twice. Killing yourself is hard and not something I'd do on an impulse.

Agreed .

 

[TAW122]

I've had numerous life changes, sometimes things get a bit better, but then overall things are still shit. Then factor in survival instinct, getting the courage, waiting for the right time to do it, and of course, obtaining the method to do so. I've been thinking of dying for over a decade, mostly passively, but over the last year or so, more actively. I will soon seek out my method, just waiting for the right time to do so.

 

[Sasha]

I am split between running away & ctb. I can't choose.

 

[Alonelyuser]

I am split between running away & ctb. I can't choose.

Sameeee

 

[crova]

I fear of unknown. Some part of me thinks its all over - I'm no more in any form.
Another part still keeps these medieval christian myths about hell and heaven, sin, guilt eternal punishment.
Then I've got this alien world in me about multidimensional beings existences; I read about many years ago ['channeled messages' from Cassiopeans and Pleyadians [especially influenced by first one]

it's still gives me goosebumps, I just read it first time after 10 years
check it for yourself: https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/vida_alien/sess_cass/cass01.htm

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

When you grow older, you tend to accumulate responsibilities, even if you do not want them. You have burdens and entanglements. Extricating yourself from these is not simple.

The removal of the majority of suicide methods both simple and convenient has largely dissuaded the impulsive. And so, the long-term thinkers have been selected for, those of us who must plot our deaths like careful assassinations.