Discussion How are you all writing your notes?

[futurebuscatcher]

I'm just curious about how everyone else is doing it? Whether it's poetic or blunt or the formatting. Mines in a big Google doc (that i may print) looking like this so far and is broken up into sections:

Introduction:
I start here simply by a "if you're reading this I'm dead, enclosed are my final wishes"

Then there's a table of contents with the General Letter, Personalized Letter, Items of Significance, Burial, Final Wishes

General Letter: is just the basic 'I've been wanting to this for a while.' Stuff

Then I put Personalized letters: I have a section each dedicated to the people I'm disappointing so that way they don't have to deal with the vague letter. Just tying up loose ends and get more specific and all.

Items of Significance: is just a list of items i want going to certain people

Burial: Just listing any sorta wishes here, which honestly isn't much. I don't want one

Final Wishes: Here i just clear anything else up and say goodbye for real, like asking them not to sorta talk about me and shit

Idk This is very convoluted and I'm probably gonna scrap the most of it. If anyone else had ideas or wants to share their own let me know!

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

in truth I've written what some would consider a basic "suicide note" a few times before just deleting it but I don't really want to write a suicide note because I feel like whatever I'd say would only cause more grief
I think I'm going to keep it simple as in 'one or two sentences' brief. I dunno.

 

[futurebuscatcher]

in truth I've written what some would consider a basic "suicide note" a few times before just deleting it but I don't really want to write a suicide note because I feel like whatever I'd say would only cause more grief
I think I'm going to keep it simple as in 'one or two sentences' brief. I dunno.

It's complicated. I want to sorta just be like "sorry" but I also want to give closure.

Yet giving closure woukd hurt just as much as not giving any

 

[Plato'sCaveDweller]

Windows rich text files!

I've written probably 2 dozen different notes over the past 2 years, but I've never been able to write a "traditional" note and be satisfied with it. There's too much to say (I'd like to keep it to a single page), and I can never quite write it the way i want it to come out. So this time around, I just gave my motives plain and simple (even though those around me are already familiar with them. I'm writing them so they won't forget). Essentially just, "My motives are:" and then a couple bullet points with about a paragraph for each specific reason to keep it concise. To close it, I then wrote a brief piece on the Right to Die for All, since that is probably the most important issue in the world to me. I don't expect it to actually effect any change (I don't even want it to go beyond my family members), I simply want to express something near and dear to my heart as my final message. I've had this note written for the past couple weeks and I feel very satisfied with it, especially since I kept it so simple. I feel like I fucking cooked with this one for sure.

I'm also going to be stapling to the note 2 pages of assorted philosophy quotes that pertain to my reasons for checking out and suicide. But that's it.

 

[Seiba]

Originally what I did was write up a note out on a tablet with a Bluetooth keyboard. I planned to send it automated it through text. I find physical writing difficult, both in terms of formatting and thinking of things to say.

It was mostly just explaining the long term nature of my suicidal thoughts, explaining the context of why I wanted to die, and otherwise expressing thanks for the rides home when my bike tire went flat and I needed rides home.

Otherwise, when I found automating to be a pain I settled for typing it out then transferring it by hand. I find myself never quite satisfied from my words and found it exhausting to word things in the proper way personally.

Contextually, I also don't really have close relationships. These are just coworkers, we don't have any contact outside of the ten seconds we barely speak at work. Writing a note is considerably tiring and never feels quite right, unfortunately I can't share a perfect process or anything.

 

[futurebuscatcher]

no no

Originally what I did was write up a note out on a tablet with a Bluetooth keyboard. I planned to send it automated it through text. I find physical writing difficult, both in terms of formatting and thinking of things to say.

It was mostly just explaining the long term nature of my suicidal thoughts, explaining the context of why I wanted to die, and otherwise expressing thanks for the rides home when my bike tire went flat and I needed rides home.

Otherwise, when I found automating to be a pain I settled for typing it out then transferring it by hand. I find myself never quite satisfied from my words and found it exhausting to word things in the proper way personally.

Contextually, I also don't really have close relationships. These are just coworkers, we don't have any contact outside of the ten seconds we barely speak at work. Writing a note is considerably tiring and never feels quite right, unfortunately I can't share a perfect process or anything.

This was helpful!

 

[willitpass]

I've always written my notes by hand. Something more personal to those left behind, especially for the individual notes. I haven't written notes in years as I stopped feeling like I wanted to leave them. I've been wanting to this time around, but I'm struggling with it. I wrote one to my dad, but I haven't been able to figure out what to write for all the others. My journal is serving as my general note, but that is going to end up confiscated at the scene and I don't know if they'll give it back. I don't have a will and simply don't have it in me to write one right now, so I may leave an unofficial will at home for my family in case the police don't return the journal. That way they know my unofficial funeral preferences. I have other personal notes that I want to write, I know these people would want one. But everytime I sit down to write them my mind goes blank.

 

[ladylazarus4]

my last attempt, years ago, I made voice memos so people would have recordings of my voice. I didn't say much of anything, just the typical "I love you, it's not your fault." Haven't written suicide notes since then- but if I ever do they'll be handwritten and I want to write lots of different ones to the people in my life. Not sure if I'll have the energy for that.

 

[sick.faery]

i wrote mine a while back on a google docs, that i keep open as a tab when i feel like i want to die.
dont want to go look at it rn since its a bit hard, but i know i started it by something along the lines of 'if you're reading this i'm dead.. ' and then i apologized for unaliving myself and went into detail to explain why i did it. then i think i gave precisions of what i want my funeral to be like, what i want to wear, what to do with my things, etc and then i wish my family well and thanking them for having been in my life

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

I am not poetic so I won't wax poetic when I'm about to be gone. Just straight up facts, an essay if you will, on the subject of why I think euthanasia should be available to everyone desiring. Don't have any family or friends to leave any personalized notes to.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I definitely wouldn't write one. Can't be bothered and no one who found it would understand anyway.

I might have dropped an email to a friend, but we're not even friends now.
I definitely wouldn't write one. Can't be bothered and no one who found it would understand anyway.

I might have dropped an email to a friendbut we're not even friends now.

 

[Trav1989]

I've written a lot over the past few months, I'm at around 80-something pages now I believe but I have a shorter version that is only about 4 pages. My long-winded "note" will just be kept on my desk at my residence for anyone to find and whether they read it or throw it away is up to them. As for my summarized version it will be located on my person in the right pocket of the pants my body will be donned in (likely covered in feces which is why I'll not have it in a back pocket).

My letters mainly consist of the story of my life from my years as a toddler to my expiration at 35 years of age and mentions of many events in my life and my personal perceptions of them from my feelings to how they affected my life, influenced my relationships, etc. It's fairly in depth and I made sure to take my time to make sure I missed as little as humanly possible.

The summarized version basically eschews all the "chaff" and showcases the primary reasons for me choosing to CTB and what led to such. It mentions how I've always loved and cared too deeply, was "burnt" a plethora of times due to such, and how the trauma and realization of certain factors pertaining to the human condition piling up led to me no longer finding enjoyment in life and that I had wished to end things on my own terms before everything spiraled out of control.

About how I had slowly and painstakingly went from a bright-eyed young man filled with hope, love, and optimism was taken advantage of so many times that I felt my life itself stripped away before my eyes until nothing was left but an empty shell and that to "live" on would be a disrespect to the person I had once been.

I didn't pull any punches either to put it lightly, I wrote some severely harsh words and didn't hold back against those who blatantly wronged me of their own volition and quite literally placed the blame on me for the hardships they caused me to go through and on the flip-side I had written many words of thankfulness to those who did their best being there for me when I needed them most and made sure to let them know how happy I was to have met them.

I still have a bit to add to my extended version but I feel as though I have to be in a truly dark place to not do myself a disservice and currently I lack such as I am admittedly "going through the motions" currently but I plan on picking up a bottle of whiskey fairly soon and truly letting loose.

In all honesty, I probably should have stopped writing after 30 pages as I feel I may have tarried on about certain things for far too long but whatever, if a person wishes to read through my writings on a cold and rainy day I figured I may as well just put everything out there but I feel as though my extended letter may do more harm than good because it cuts painfully deep into subjects that many don't wish to talk about, let alone acknowledge the existence of.

Regardless, it will all likely be thrown away after a few short skims or put into a box somewhere to gather dust until thrown away during some moving process years from now.

The only reason I ever even wrote anything at all was to pass the time to be completely honest.

 

[Just_Another_Person]

Aside my notes to my doc, the only thing I will say to my family is "My body should be cremated and the ashes thrown in any place EXCEPT x,y and z.

 

[AresCohere]

I've tried before and never worked, always brought SI to bare. Maybe I could make a "will" but not a proper note.

Ngl I may frame my CTB as going missing or as a homicide rather than what it really is to attempt to "soften the blow" to any of the remaining people who's actually give a shit about my existence.

 

[Travelr]

in truth I've written what some would consider a basic "suicide note" a few times before just deleting it but I don't really want to write a suicide note because I feel like whatever I'd say would only cause more grief
I think I'm going to keep it simple as in 'one or two sentences' brief. I dunno.

There's no need to explain it, it's just about what is best for you so I don't think it matters who knows or reads what

 

[Moniker]

The notes I've written were all on paper - small torn pages of notebook paper and sticky notes. I've considered scheduled text messages or emails, but I think I'll stick with paper.

They've all been similar. Sticky notes and notebooks being as small as they are, I kept them short. I saw things differently when I attempted in the past. So, I apologized for not being open about how I felt. I admitted to being scared of everyone around me and how I struggle to discern between truth and paranoia. I questioned if things could have been different and blamed myself for things ending this way.

I don't really feel the same anymore. I've considered just saying "sorry" or something like that. I've also thought about being a bit more direct than before; I could talk about life as a whole feeling needlessly painful for me.

Your's seems so neatly organized compared to mine. Maybe I'd avoid a note entirely. I have a will already to handle my assets. I guess I don't have much to say to those I'm leaving behind.

 

[permanently tired]

I wrote one on paper when I was 14 maybe? I don't remember and idk where it is now. I typed a few drafts in google docs and my notes app. It feels lengthy and unnecessary though so I might just shorten it to fuck you or smth.

 

[littlelungs]

I wrote mine on Pages in the form of an autobiography, with parts (i.e. preface, childhood, late teenage years and early adulthood, current situation and closing remarks, the latter of which is basically just a shorter suicide note with everything summed up, because now that the reader knows my story, the things I say at the end will make sense), chapters, a table of contents and everything, and am going to save it as a PDF and export it to EPUB format as well so that the people who are getting it (parents, siblings, in-laws, old friends) can read it on their devices more easily if they want.

There's just been so much wrong with this individual existence for so long and it's all so bloody complex and intertwined, and I don't want any unanswered questions, because then people would most likely make assumptions and fill in the blanks themselves and god forbid think that my death was impulsive or "a permanent solution to a temporary problem", because it was anything BUT that. I want to make myself as clear as possible, so I figured the best way to do that was to basically just tell my story. SUPER extra, I know – it took me over 5 years, was an absolute bitch to write (especially in my absolutely abysmal physical state, and especially considering its actual contents), and I would have greatly preferred to just keep it short and sweet and been able to neatly list out my reasons why, and I definitely tried, but again, it's just not that straightforward, and the context and backstory is just too important to me to leave out. I mainly wrote it so that the people who are left behind will have answers and something to help them understand and get some insight into why all of this was unbearable and completely unsustainable, and will hopefully also help them in some way during the grieving process, but it also kinda helped me to process this whole shit-show of an existence in a sense as well.

 

[warriorkot]

i don't really want to say much. just i love you i'm sorry and call the police