Help how are y'all combating "nothing is worth the effort thoughts"

[hoppybunny]

I'm going to talk about this with my therpist but I want to share it here first because i find it easier to express myself firsts. but i'd still like to hear y'all thoughts. I'm trying to get better but I have like 2 main issues.

1. My energy levels of motivation are still thinking i'm gonna kill myself
   • what i mean is, like i still mainly sleep or deadscroll all day and I don't go out of my way to do anything because i immediately want to die whenever i want to put in effort. Like a typidcal thought process is "i have a test, i should study" and my next process is "you won't have to study if you stop being a pussy and kill yourself" then i start procastinating on studying but I also know i'm too scared to kill myself so it's like i wish i could just actually do stuff instead of procastinating everything. I even procastinate on my hobbies. I haven't cought up to the storyline on a game i play cause it's too much effort. But i know no matter how many times I spiral and try to kill myself, I'll never do it. I just want to live like a normal person.
   • also i can't bring myself to do anything that's not required, so i have no passion projects and i do nothing to actually chase my real goals. Just hide behind school work, online courses and programs i sign myself up for. So like i want to be an artist but you'll be able to catch a mosquito 50 times on the first try before you'll catch me drawing.
2. I care too much about my family and friends while also not doing anything with them
   • i'm a homebody and hate going out and I also am never really doing anything and i'm always sleeping or deadscrollign. however, I also want to be there for my family. So what happens is I get invited out and I always reject because I just hate going out but also, like i said before i procastinate a lot, so as a form of self punishment i don't go out till i finish my work. I also love my family and I know i have tendencies to pass blame onto others for things that aren't their fault. So i know if i go out while i have incomplete work, and i don't get a good grade, or miss the assignment, or turn it in late, my brain will build resentment for the person i hang out with.
   • like a recent example is my sister wants to hang out with me but i told her no cause i don't know when i'll be free. (cause i have a shit ton of work piled up and i don't want to blame her if i can't or simply don't finish it.) and now she's being pissy and mad at me for not wanting to leave the house or not having an exact date for when i can watch a movie with her. even though i explained myself i think she's ignoring me and it's honestly eating me up even though i explained what's going on in my head.

I just don't know what to do. I think there's so more reasons but i can't remember.

 

[yabujin]

I don't.
Actually the other way around

I question wether if anything I'd do would even weight something

 

[wayn]

This is kinda how I feel aswell. I hope you will be able to overcome it.

 

[SweetItalianS]

1 - Keep in mind that the time you'd be spending doing the assignment is the same - doesn't matter if you'll start earlier or later -> it might seem that it means that procrastinating is fine but it's not if you do the work rightaway - then you'd be free of it and all the time afterwards is fully yours, you won't be pressured by the work lying on your chest, you'd rest better etc. In short - it's beneficial to do it immediately.
1.2 The difference between dreams and goals is the timeframe. You want to become an artist? OK now put a goal to draw X in Y time, make artificial deadlines and try writing a checklist of things that need to be done - it might make it easier.

Mainly it's the issue of discipline which is very very hard to build when you don't have it but IT IS POSSIBLE.

2 Seems the main issue is your procrastination - focus everything on starting with the work asap when you are available, you must build a habit of doing the work when you can and then rest, spend time with your loved ones etc It might take a few weeks to get settled in but you have to power through that period of time.

GOOD LUCK!

 

[yabujin]

Nothing is worth doing because this is a polarized and aperspecival world
(Also blackpilled for me)

 

[hoppybunny]

I don't.
Actually the other way around

I question wether if anything I'd do would even weight something

I get that feeling as well. It's one of the things that hold me back. the third one i forgot actually. Being scared that all your effort will amount to nothing is so scary. And the crazy part about it is you can't do anything about it but try.

 

[hoppybunny]

This is kinda how I feel aswell. I hope you will be able to overcome it.

Thank you. I'll share what helped if i do.

1 - Keep in mind that the time you'd be spending doing the assignment is the same - doesn't matter if you'll start earlier or later -> it might seem that it means that procrastinating is fine but it's not if you do the work rightaway - then you'd be free of it and all the time afterwards is fully yours, you won't be pressured by the work lying on your chest, you'd rest better etc. In short - it's beneficial to do it immediately.
1.2 The difference between dreams and goals is the timeframe. You want to become an artist? OK now put a goal to draw X in Y time, make artificial deadlines and try writing a checklist of things that need to be done - it might make it easier.

Mainly it's the issue of discipline which is very very hard to build when you don't have it but IT IS POSSIBLE.

2 Seems the main issue is your procrastination - focus everything on starting with the work asap when you are available, you must build a habit of doing the work when you can and then rest, spend time with your loved ones etc It might take a few weeks to get settled in but you have to power through that period of time.

GOOD LUCK!

Thank you. I'll try.

 

[Innereye]

Recommend getting a sleep study and looking into learnt Helplessness.

 

[Buh-bye!]

I'm going to talk about this with my therpist but I want to share it here first because i find it easier to express myself firsts. but i'd still like to hear y'all thoughts. I'm trying to get better but I have like 2 main issues.

1. My energy levels of motivation are still thinking i'm gonna kill myself
   • what i mean is, like i still mainly sleep or deadscroll all day and I don't go out of my way to do anything because i immediately want to die whenever i want to put in effort. Like a typidcal thought process is "i have a test, i should study" and my next process is "you won't have to study if you stop being a pussy and kill yourself" then i start procastinating on studying but I also know i'm too scared to kill myself so it's like i wish i could just actually do stuff instead of procastinating everything. I even procastinate on my hobbies. I haven't cought up to the storyline on a game i play cause it's too much effort. But i know no matter how many times I spiral and try to kill myself, I'll never do it. I just want to live like a normal person.
   • also i can't bring myself to do anything that's not required, so i have no passion projects and i do nothing to actually chase my real goals. Just hide behind school work, online courses and programs i sign myself up for. So like i want to be an artist but you'll be able to catch a mosquito 50 times on the first try before you'll catch me drawing.
2. I care too much about my family and friends while also not doing anything with them
   • i'm a homebody and hate going out and I also am never really doing anything and i'm always sleeping or deadscrollign. however, I also want to be there for my family. So what happens is I get invited out and I always reject because I just hate going out but also, like i said before i procastinate a lot, so as a form of self punishment i don't go out till i finish my work. I also love my family and I know i have tendencies to pass blame onto others for things that aren't their fault. So i know if i go out while i have incomplete work, and i don't get a good grade, or miss the assignment, or turn it in late, my brain will build resentment for the person i hang out with.
   • like a recent example is my sister wants to hang out with me but i told her no cause i don't know when i'll be free. (cause i have a shit ton of work piled up and i don't want to blame her if i can't or simply don't finish it.) and now she's being pissy and mad at me for not wanting to leave the house or not having an exact date for when i can watch a movie with her. even though i explained myself i think she's ignoring me and it's honestly eating me up even though i explained what's going on in my head.

I just don't know what to do. I think there's so more reasons but i can't remember.

i wish we had a genuine answer that worked for everybody in this situation. sadly, i ponder the same question everyday and the failure of getting the right answer just puts me through slight mental stress which i avoid by coping all day ( porn, games, sleeping it off ). anyhow it felt good knowing that you are so caring towards those people, i wish it remains like that.

 

[hoppybunny]

Recommend getting a sleep study and looking into learnt Helplessness.

What's a sleep study?

i wish we had a genuine answer that worked for everybody in this situation. sadly, i ponder the same question everyday and the failure of getting the right answer just puts me through slight mental stress which i avoid by coping all day ( porn, games, sleeping it off ). anyhow it felt good knowing that you are so caring towards those people, i wish it remains like that.

Thank you. I try my best to be considerate and kind but I think I'm just falling into doormat territory. Especially with my parents. It will honestly be best for myself if I move out cause I think I'm bordering on harboring malice for my parents.

But yeah I also cope with sleeping and gaming too. I hope we can get better.