How are adults coping in the US

[thedreamertype_]

I don't know how so many of the US adult population is holding it together right now. I have always been depressed and anxious but I don't know how I am supposed to go on with knowledge of "the files", pointless war & genocide, and making it a impossible price tag to live a normal life.

Not to mention things happening to me. I know it's been a long time but in 2015 my long term bf cheated on me, and I walked in on it. The light in my eyes has never came back.

Now I'm married to another even more horrific cheater. He controls my finances and won't let me out. He spends money on sex workers and other random women while I hardly eat due to having no money. He's had me institutionalized before and he texted my abusive parents about how I need to be put in a conservatorship. So I have to be truly careful what I say and do.

It's been really bad lately and I haven't ate, just been crying mostly or sleeping. Unable to get out of bed until he drags me by the feet out and I fall on the ground. Then I'll lay there for a bit and he just angrily slams things around and yells that I'm useless. Some people get spouses who wash and feed them when they're depressed. This is my fate.

I have wanted to die since I was around 11. My birthday is in two days, Tuesday. I don't want to see it. My grandparents (basically the only people in my life who care) are coming to see me and I can't muster up the energy to clean my house before they arrive.

I guess I just want to CTB tonight or tmw. I don't have SN unfortunately. I have lots of prescriptions. I had an old plan but idk if it would work. My partner's car's catalytic converter was stolen. Idk if CO2 production would be enough and idk how to check. I don't have access to firearms. I'm scared of anything too violent. I think maybe I could use a firearm but idk how to obtain one and I have no money. I walked across a bridge in my city the other day but it didn't seem high enough to me. I'm lost.

 

[A Dream of a Dream]

yes, its pretty crazy. (another) unnecessary war on brown people that serves two selfish purposes:

1) take attention away from the fact economically things are not better, just getting worse. the
wealthy and the billionaires are wining even more. backroom deals fo sure happening.

2) pain in the proverbial behind, but they haven't attacked us. sanctions did work and
relatively quiet. it's about Israel. also let's trump (who demeaned military service
and sacrifice) pretend he's putin. the religious zealots on the supreme court working to
make that happen. they dont care so long as they get to push religion on the population.
disgusting, corrupt, religious fanatics who don't care about fairness, equity, justice.

 

[U. A.]

Can you get the fuck away from your piece of shit husband before trying to kill yourself?

 

[thedreamertype_]

Can you get the fuck away from your piece of shit husband before trying to kill yourself?

It's very complicated. Where am I supposed to go, section 8? A homeless shelter? I live in a dangerous city. So I'm going to go there and get touched, or harassed, or hurt by someone else?

 

[100elephants]

Your post was very moving. it breaks my heart to imagine how much pain you are going through.

there are shelters specifically for women who are in your exact situation, and they have resources to keep you safe while you get back on your feet. It couldn't hurt to try that before ctb? You might be able to
meet other people who have had similar experiences

 

[itsgone2]

It's very complicated. Where am I supposed to go, section 8? A homeless shelter? I live in a dangerous city. So I'm going to go there and get touched, or harassed, or hurt by someone else?

I worry about this for all women. Many places are dangerous now. Most places I would think. I understand your problem. At least you feel you have somewhere to go. I'm so sorry. The world changed. I don't know why.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I don't know how so many of the US adult population is holding it together right now. I have always been depressed and anxious but I don't know how I am supposed to go on with knowledge of "the files", pointless war & genocide, and making it a impossible price tag to live a normal life.

Not to mention things happening to me. I know it's been a long time but in 2015 my long term bf cheated on me, and I walked in on it. The light in my eyes has never came back.

Now I'm married to another even more horrific cheater. He controls my finances and won't let me out. He spends money on sex workers and other random women while I hardly eat due to having no money. He's had me institutionalized before and he texted my abusive parents about how I need to be put in a conservatorship. So I have to be truly careful what I say and do.

It's been really bad lately and I haven't ate, just been crying mostly or sleeping. Unable to get out of bed until he drags me by the feet out and I fall on the ground. Then I'll lay there for a bit and he just angrily slams things around and yells that I'm useless. Some people get spouses who wash and feed them when they're depressed. This is my fate.

I have wanted to die since I was around 11. My birthday is in two days, Tuesday. I don't want to see it. My grandparents (basically the only people in my life who care) are coming to see me and I can't muster up the energy to clean my house before they arrive.

I guess I just want to CTB tonight or tmw. I don't have SN unfortunately. I have lots of prescriptions. I had an old plan but idk if it would work. My partner's car's catalytic converter was stolen. Idk if CO2 production would be enough and idk how to check. I don't have access to firearms. I'm scared of anything too violent. I think maybe I could use a firearm but idk how to obtain one and I have no money. I walked across a bridge in my city the other day but it didn't seem high enough to me. I'm lost.

We aren't.