Venting How am I supposed to survive with autism?

[RottenApple17]

I really don't understand it, the slow information processing, the chronic fatigue, the burnout from masking, all of it makes it impossible for me to hold a job. On top of that, I have a teenage appearance that makes people not take me seriously.

The fact that I've been able to camouflage my true self for so many years means it's not even considered a disability. It's a gray area that feels absurd.
If one day I decide to kill myself, I'd be an completely rational and logical decision.

 

[Life_and_Death]

have you watched any autism people on youtube/fb/etc??

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Never feel bad about this, it's not a failure on your part, OP.

The capitalist Hellscape we live in wasn't built for the neurodivergent to thrive or even just survive. They want us dead and removed from society.

 

[yowai]

I'm wondering about the same thing lol.

 

[Kalista]

this society is not meant for 'neurodivergent' individuals. there may be communities built for awareness and some level of support, but the society you live in as a whole is resistant, and even rejects people completely who are different than the majority. the support may even never be enough because it's a misguided attempt to have you 'keep trying.' keep trying for what? to change yourself to finally be accepted?

it is YOU who have to adjust yourself all the damn time, it is YOU who have to change certain behaviors just to be able to last in a work environment and never them -- this is a normalized behavior not only directed at people with autism, but many others who struggle to be accepted in this shit society.

people who do not fit in this preferred mold are commonly judged, criticized and ostracized.

 

[RottenApple17]

have you watched any autism people on youtube/fb/etc??

Yes, a lot on Youtube. Most of them are from European countries or at least the United States, where the concept of "accommodation" for autistic workers is something that has been growing.

I am from Latin America, and here that is still something very new, and it is only considered for people who have a type of autism that is perceived as more severe. I am in a gray area where my condition tends to be denied, even though I am officially diagnosed.

On the other hand, slowness in information processing, one of my main difficulties, is not something common to all autistic people.

this society is not meant for 'neurodivergent' individuals. there may be communities built for awareness and some level of support, but the society you live in as a whole is resistant, and even rejects people completely who are different than the majority. the support may even never be enough because it's a misguided attempt to have you 'keep trying.' keep trying for what? to change yourself to finally be accepted?

it is YOU who have to adjust yourself all the damn time, it is YOU who have to change certain behaviors just to be able to last in a work environment and never them -- this is a normalized behavior not only directed at people with autism, but many others who struggle to be accepted in this shit society.

people who do not fit in this preferred mold are commonly judged, criticized and ostracized.

In the specific case of neurodivergent people, one difficulty I have noticed is that the concept of being limited by how your brain and neurology function is something very hard for others to understand. Maybe it's because it challenges the romantic idea that we are not just biological beings, that have a soul and therefore complete free will. It's as if talking about our behavior as something that results from organic processes is considered heresy.