I cant take it anymore. Im 26. Have spent 8 years of my life on the streets since i ran from my fosterhome at 14. Ive been sexually abused, a drug addict, lost my child, my family, everyone. God have i been alone for so damn long. Ive always hated myself, rightfully so, im truly a disgusting waste of life. I want to end it so badly. And have no idea whats stopping me. Ill try, cry, tear my hair out, hit myself and at the end of it all im so tired. I just sleep and somehow its the next day. Every time i fail, i tell myself its because life is my punishment and thats why i cant do it. I deserve all of this pain. But i know, the only way to make it up to wveryonw ive hurt, only way to protect everyone i havent yet, is to end it. Im so afraid of dying alone. Without love or comfort. But i juat want it to end so damn badly
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
Thankyou for your kind words. But im the one who did that. I chose to be worthless..
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
I also hate what I've done but I never hurt anyone else and nowhere in what you wrote did it seem you did. How the ones who do can live with themselves is a mystery and it's almost enough to keep me going. Why should we die and they live?
Im glad that you can view it that way. Thats good. Honestly i do sometimes too, depending on which me ur talking to... My actions are what hurt them. Choosing drugs and the streets over the only family who ever cared. My kid couldve had a life if i had been better or done more. And since then. Ive been just an angry. Hurtful person. I definitely have hurt people. Too many.
I just want something to push me over the edge. I want to stop being so afraid. And just do it already ya know. How do people gain the courage to end it
Accidentally replied to my post n not ur comment
I just want something to push me over the edge. I want to stop being so afraid. And just do it already ya know. How do people gain the courage to end it
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enjoy
Creature
- Dec 20, 2019
- 337
i'm so sorry that you've been dealt such a shitty hand in life. i offer you many, many hugs. i know it isn't much, but do know you have my deepest sympathies. 
Ty. But i dont deserve sympathy. Nor do i honestly deserve understanding from anyone. Idk y i even posted. Everything just hurts..i'm so sorry that you've been dealt such a shitty hand in life. i offer you many, many hugs. i know it isn't much, but do know you have my deepest sympathies.
Making mistakes is part of being human. making mistakes doesn't mean you dont deserve to be loved and valued. Welcome to the group you will find a lot of people here that care, and won't judge.
Thankyou. But im sure if i divulged every bit of the shit i am. Everyone would gladly see me go. Which is what i want anyway. I want to be told and to know and really feel its okay to go.
This is a pro choice group. it Is up to you if you live or die, and fully support whatever path you choose. If you ever want to talk please don't hesitate.
People make decisions that hurt others and thats just life. I personally dont think I have but maybe I have I dont know. I'm sure there are people who have made decisions that have hurt you and again thats just life. If you can change it and you want to then do. If you cant then its no longer in your hands. I haven't been here long but I have found people who dont judge and understand this need to CTB when life is too much, or not as the case may be. I wish you well whatever you choose to do.
