people with bpd are so wronged all the time and i don't even say that because of my own experience. every pwBPD I know is always trying so much more than everybody else to be healthy and good to others and the world keeps stepping on them. this is so unfair it makes my blood boil. we are people who have been through so much already and we just want some comfort and safety for once. other people demonize pwBPD so much for wanting love out of life (i understand there are toxic people in general, it's not isolated to a disorder, but im refering to us pwbpd who try to improve and who are only demonized because of a label).
so tired of being treated like I want so much and like a burden when I want the bare minimum. what every other person has but I don't seem to get.
and it feels so hopeless to keep going like that, being so emotional and feeling pain all the time, trying to hide from people how I feel otherwise I'm manipulative or something, when im literally on my best behavior with everyone around me. and that took a lot of study and therapy. doesn't feel like it's enough.
I was diagnosed with BPD at 19 not because I have it, I don't, but because the psychiatrist was morbidly obese and hated me for being thin. Every normal sized doctor says I DO NOT have it, that I instead have CPTSD and bipolar.
Most people diagnosed with BPD do not have it and instead have CPTSD. BPD is literally made up to demonize people (predominantly women, but sometimes men) for having feelings, anger, or trauma.
Narcissistic people sniff out people with trauma and use a fake label to abuse them. I was being beaten and the bitch said I basically deserved it and should kill myself anyway lol. She faked a piss test to claim I was a heroin addict too. Never done heroin lol.
Just ignore the whole fucking label and switch providers outright if you are able. I literally had to leave the state for a fucking year and dip out of all healthcare for a large chunk of time. I gave up on ALL therapy because it is a toxic field, very anti victim. It is CPTSD.
Basically, reframing and hiding it is better. My husband straight up says it's made up, because my anger ALWAYS has a rational cause. I assume you are like me, since we use similar phraseology to describe what we want from others "the bare minimum." Which many seem FUCKING incapable of.
You do you and you are honestly fucking better than that label. Do anything to escape the abusive monsters who slapped it onto you. The psych who put it on me literally tried to murder me after through severe malpractice. BPD is nearly always just a reflection on the psych's intentions to cause you harm, and NEVER about the patient.
I'm sure you're actually nice and reasonable, because your expectations seem reasonable and so do you. Your psych is just an asshole.
And it seems like a lot of people in your life are assholes too. I learned to burn bridges with ease and vigor. That is the real treatment. Humiliation via therapy, the revocation of your human rights, abrogation of your dignity is all by fucking design by a series of abusive monsters.
News flash to all people who complain about BPD patients, nobody likes to be abused.
Sorry about the rant and projection of some of my own shit, and the lack of cohesion.
But I genuinely hope you have an excellent day and can crush your abusers some day. You are not defined by their delusions of you nor are you defined by one outburst or one emotion.
