I understand how you felt. This has been normal behavior for me for awhile now... I know it's dangerous and unhealthy, but I just want it. So. Bad. It's like a dark secret, but I push it as far as I can. Dying like that is always in the back of my mind, and I can't seem to enjoy myself unless that at least feels like a real risk.
I wish someone would use me for sex I've not had sex since 2016! Not had free sex since 2012. Be nice do so before CTB! Also sex is meant to release some kind of chemical high in the body make you feel good.
lol i had a brief fling with a woman who asked me to choke her during sex which i did, it didn't do anything for me tbh i thought it was a bit strange but nowadays not a lot is strange really.
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