I had an idea just now, and I thought I'd give it a try. I believe many of us are here because it's therapeutic to be around others who have lost their will to live. We feel like we're out of options, and so life has no meaning. We want to be heard and understood. For me, my biggest enemy is my ego and pride, and it keeps me from being totally honest with others, and I would think that's the same for others. I would like to know more about all of you, and I think others here would like to know as well. Tell us your story, what makes you suicidal specifically. But be 100% honest, and if you choose to reply, and someone asks you a question about yourself you must vow to be completely forthcoming an honest. That said, do not doxx yourself or relinquish your anonymity. I look forward to reading your responses.
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Letmego. Please
Wizard
- Nov 18, 2018
- 619
There is an Introduce yourself thread that you may find you more answer from.
Sounds like a mastermind group exercise. It's easy to fool some but not easy to fool the masses.
Faraway1990
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 195
I'm not depressed but I've decided I'm done with this life, I've had bouts on and off since I was about 15 of being done but I largely got over that and 16 I met the woman I love and never loved anyone else like that. In 2016 I was 26 we met up again and it was the best day of my life and then we separated I had some crazy separation experiences I have my beliefs on why but I won't mention them here, we reconnected a few times and stopped talking and my life fell apart too I had social anxiety depression etc spent all the money I had. I eventually got a job but it's a never ending game of living on the edge I just lost my job I'm in rent arrears I lost the only thing I cared about and it feels long term this time I'm just tired and done I don't feel it's worth fighting out the hole I'm in I could but I'm just so dam tired of it. 
I'm just accepting of it and it's my choice.
I'm just accepting of it and it's my choice.Sorry to hear that. Ah to be 29 again, what I wouldn't give. I know positivity is frowned upon around here, but from my perspective, you've got a lot going for you. You're young, you're single, it sounds like at least physically you're healthy. You just sound a depressed. I completely agree, though, the rat race is a bunch of bullshit, I hate it as much as the next guy. But there are 7 billion people on the plantet, and more than half are female. I bet you a steak dinner if you held out that you'd find someone else. Again, you're right, it's your choice if you want to off yourself, but hey, it's just my opinion. What kind of work do you do if you don't mind me asking?
What's wrong with group exercises? Some people like to vent, and most people's favorite topic is themselves. You chase me around the forums enough, perhaps you'd like to share your story with me? I won't judge, and I bet it would make you feel better to tell me why you're so angry.
Thank you. I prefer this one. If no one responds, that's okay. If only a few are willing to share, that's okay, too. Sometimes less is more, and I'd prefer to talk with people who want to talk with me.
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Shenanigan
New Member
- Jun 2, 2019
- 3
Honestly, I've just felt as though I've had the short stick my entire life and I've never had enough motivation or drive to truly overcome my own obstacles. And everytime I clear one obstacle, a big new scary one comes out of nowhere.
I like control of my situation. I hate surprises. Suicide seems like a way to finally have full control.
I like control of my situation. I hate surprises. Suicide seems like a way to finally have full control.
Shenanigan
New Member
- Jun 2, 2019
- 3
Eh. Growing up in poverty really with a mother that I idolized for no reason at all other than for the fact she fed me well because of her food stamp fraud. Mind you I blew up like a whale. Then, after coming out and saying that I was suicidal, my high school basically ejected me out by sending me to several different group counseling places. I stopped going to school and instead of reaching out via No Kid Left Behind methods, my high school just called my house to say I was removed from their register. Soon after that, I was evicted from my home and practically homeless and shoved off to my lowkey deadbeat dad (who is actually the one person who forced me to change for the better and get over myself and make my life better by teaching me how to make money and responsibilities and whatnot.
Lots of short sticks other than that too. Drug infested home environment that I was raised in. Loud and abusive siblings that never cared about me (And still don't considering the assaults they've made against me and etc.)
It's basically a forever downward spiral. :D Money is legitimate the thing keeping me sad as I don't have enough of it to comfortably live. And I don't have a partner who can help financially (As it's easier to survive with people than without.)
I've accepted how I look (overweight, super fat, not so cute face either) and everything else. I'd like to think I can be happy as long as I had monetary means.
I'm sorry to hear about all of that. It sounds, though, like you've done well for being brought up in such conditions. You're obviously smart. You're self-aware and don't have an inflated sense of your own appearance or ego. I think you have lots of advantages that many are not so lucky to have. You've been put through the wringer and are still around, without being driven crazy or into prison. And you could probably lose the weight if you applied yourself, which I am betting you are more than capable of doing. You're not ready to check out, buddy. You've got a lot going for you. But that's just my armchair psychoanalysis.
Scribble Fan
I'm out!
- May 30, 2019
- 815
Mum was nearly psychotic as a child and Dad was there but not, all the "family" hatred and abuse caused me so many mental issues. I tried so hard to get good grades but I cracked at 16 and failed high school, now I crash with... them. At 21. Funny how they're actually very normal people now and I'm completely broken. Lost all my friends too.
I've tried overcoming anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts but my inner demons won in the end. I'm tired of being an outcast failure without any support or real love in life, I'm out. I don't need or want to be here.
... So that's why. Make what you want of it.
I've tried overcoming anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts but my inner demons won in the end. I'm tired of being an outcast failure without any support or real love in life, I'm out. I don't need or want to be here.
... So that's why. Make what you want of it.
21! What a great age. The world should still be new to you! I am sorry to read of your upbringing, but I still feel hope for you. Youth, health, wits ... you have a lot you can apply. My suggestion is to get a job, earn some sheckles, have some pints, chase some women ... live on for a while. A by all means, move out of mum and dads house, even if it means sleeping under a bridge!
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
I resent your implication that we aren't all already telling our stories and being completely honest with every post we make.
What fresh Pro Life trolling-bullshit is this?
@Marquis
Alright then, my apologies for offending your meager sensibilities! Now, care to share your story?
not_a_robot
"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
- May 30, 2019
- 2,121
And I can see that the troll is responding to me but I set trolls on Ignore.
You came looking for me, I didn't go looking for you. But it's okay if you don't wish to engage with me. It's entirely your choice. Just know I will listen and inject my opinions if you are willing to talk. I am sorry that I made you angry. I'm just here for stimulating discussions and to make friends.
AnnihilatedAnna
A Joke
- Apr 17, 2018
- 1,346
Dude, you understand that wide awake explained why he did this? You shouldn't be so offended so fast. Some people lie, others don't. I find this thread a good idea. I don't think he/she is making an assumption or implication about it. You know it is actually a fact that human being lie? It's just part of us. All of us.
Faraway1990
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 195
"I'll find someone else" I hear this from people so much, I loved her with such a fire etc ever since we met and through the years I've tried with others I've loved but things fade and we come back to each other only to part again due to reasons I'm not going into and she likes me just as much it's complicated and when people tell me this it's very clear people don't understand even though they think they do. I work as a care home assistant I enjoy my job but I'm tired of work, I'm tired of chasing money, society going to Shi* and I have to go through it without the only thing I've ever cared about and too much. I'm explaining this badly but trust me friend I'm not depressed I just feel done and I'm comfortable checking out.
LastFlowers
the haru that can read
- Apr 27, 2019
- 2,170
Well I guess my sensibilities are meager as well because I sense something sinister and deceptive in the intent of starting this thread.
Every post I come across of yours is anti-suicide. Not recalling your name, I clicked this thread and then the memory alarms started going off once I started reading.
You said in another thread that God would frown upon CTB. And that suffering is a gift.
You ask for people to tell their stories and vow honesty in the face of questions, but where is your story? And why do you insult and patronize anyone who questions YOU.
I am unnerved to see the people who have shared stories, being replied to with such a dismissive attitude. Basically giving unsolicited advice, telling everyone to get their lives together, even if it means "sleeping under a bridge."
Unacceptable.
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'Tis better to have loved and lost ... You are not the only one in the world who has experienced heartbreak, friend. It is a natural part of life. If it were meant to be, you'd be together. Your destiny lies elsewhere, and you need to get a grip, understand that, and move on.
So you troll here looking for comments that you perceive to be "anti-suicide". I thought this website was about being pro-choice? That would mean that people should choose for themselves whether they want to live or die. You are pro-death, and yes, I lean pro-life. Is there something wrong with that? That doesn't mean that I'm not battling my own despair right now, but part of my way of coping is through trying to help others. Why does that bother you so? Why is it that you want to keep people in despair and almost revel in watching as people slip down into gloom and take their own lives? If anything should be unacceptable, it is that. But I am of the mind of live and let live. If you don't like my threads, then feel free to ignore them.
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Faraway1990
Student
- Jun 2, 2019
- 195
Get a grip? Lol is this a troll thread? You have no idea how I feel I'm not some teenage heartbreak (I'm not dismissing that but...) I'm not responding to you again. I've made a decision after a lot of time and experiences. I wish you well on your journey. Good day.
Well it is your choice after all. Get on livin' or get on dyin' as they say. I express only my opinions, and take them for what they are. This thread is about honesty, and so, I am. I too wish you the best, and a very long life.
It is a troll thread hence I labeled it as a neurotypical, life coaching, group exercise to suck people in.
Not one of her contributions have been considerate or helpful to your situations. On another thread she didnt even read the OP statement and made a ignoramus response. Disingenuous indeed!
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Gotta say, as much as @LMFAO FOCKERS rubs me wrong, I have to agree that @WideAwake is sure sounding awfully pro-life trollish. I'm hearing an awful lot of the usual BS platitudes and superficial sympathy that drive people out of the therapists' offices and to this forum. "'Tis better to have loved and lost ..." --Really? Did you really just write that? Did you really just completely dismiss @Faraway1990 with such a weary cliché? To reply with an only somewhat less cliché quote from Tommy Lee Jones in MiB: "Try it!"
Sorry, WideAwake. I went out on a limb and tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. This is, indeed, a pro-choice site, and those who choose to walk away from the bus stop are cheered heartily when they make that choice on their own, but such candyfloss banalities as you have offered thus far, shouted from the sidelines, don't save lives.
Sorry, WideAwake. I went out on a limb and tried to give you the benefit of the doubt. This is, indeed, a pro-choice site, and those who choose to walk away from the bus stop are cheered heartily when they make that choice on their own, but such candyfloss banalities as you have offered thus far, shouted from the sidelines, don't save lives.
There was a post where she answered and didnt even read what OP had to say. It was blatantly obvious and low effort which s frowned upon.
I found this response completely appalling considering people are battling serious issues and weighing the option of CTB which is a big deal for everyone.
That doesn't bug me, just because I've been here long enough to hear a lot of light-hearted --and genuine!-- reasons to delay, especially when presented as gallows humor. Hell, I think a few of us agreed that waiting for the finale of Game Of Thrones would be a worthwhile excuse to delay. Turns out we were so very sadly wrong...
But yes, @WideAwake is starting to sound like a evangalistic therapist spending her lunch hours slumming amongst The Fallen.
There sure are a lot of angry trolls in these forums. I'd ask these angry trolls that if you're going to ignore the topic of my thread and not participate as requested then please refrain from commenting. It's rude. And thank you for your cooperation.
SinisterKid
Visionary
- Jun 1, 2019
- 2,113
We are not honest because the vast majority of people cannot handle honesty and so we end up here with the few who can. It really is that simple. I mention the word suicide and everyone runs a mile faster than Mr R Bannister ever did, its comical if it wasn't so tragic.
I have spoken at length with about a dozen therapists about the reasons behind wanting to end my life, very openly, very honestly and not one of them has shown any empathy or understanding of what I am talking about. Then they tell me I am unstable and try to lock me up. If that is where being honest gets me, I am so glad I am a good liar.
Why suicide/euthanasia is still so taboo is beyond me. We put animals out of their misery when they are deemed beyond help but we cannot and will not do the same for our own species. That is twisted.
Honesty is for those who can afford it. Sadly, most of us here are not able to bear the cost.
I have spoken at length with about a dozen therapists about the reasons behind wanting to end my life, very openly, very honestly and not one of them has shown any empathy or understanding of what I am talking about. Then they tell me I am unstable and try to lock me up. If that is where being honest gets me, I am so glad I am a good liar.
Why suicide/euthanasia is still so taboo is beyond me. We put animals out of their misery when they are deemed beyond help but we cannot and will not do the same for our own species. That is twisted.
Honesty is for those who can afford it. Sadly, most of us here are not able to bear the cost.
And there it is! the TRUTH has been spoken!
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
I have an idea: Instead of "solving" each person's problems for them, as if by posting here they've written in to Mr Fix-It, why don't you just pass around a bowl of fortune cookies? They'd be less glib than the slogans you've been tossing at people.
It's rude to invite people to speak their truth and then blow them off with simplistic pep-talk slogans. Did anyone here actually ask you for directions on how to straighten up and fly right? Maybe try listening, with compassion and comprehension. We're not crossword puzzles to be solved in six minutes or less.
So why are you suicidal?
Your opinions are duly noted. I have considered them thoroughly and have decided that I would prefer to do what I want. Thanks for trying to think for me, but I'm fairly capable. I blow no one off, nor am I trying to solve anyone's problems. I'm reading what they wrote, asking questions to gain more insight, and responding with my own opinions.
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Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
You considered my suggestions for less than six minutes, which isn't thorough. You said earlier that your pride is something that gets in your way, and it seems to be doing that again. You're not coming across as "fairly capable"; you're coming across as obtuse (and rude).
I've reread your initial post inviting people to post honestly here. You neglected to warn us that if we did you'd chime in with your opinion on our situations. Do you and your pride feel like giving your opinion is meaningful to anyone but you? Do you feel like you've helped someone here by giving your pep-talk-style opinion?
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