T

thechosenone

Member
Aug 29, 2019
9
At this point Im just ready to get this over with! I have no access to any resources. This SN and N you guys speak of, I have no way of getting my hands on this stuff. Time is running out. I know that trying to ctb in a really painful way is not going to work because I don't do well with suffering. I have no idea what to do at this point. I tried overdosing on painkillers and shit before, complete fail. Why is trying to live so fucking hard but trying to die even harder?!?!

I even thought of drinking a bottle of windex because of some article I seen. Felt dumb even writing that so obviously im not going to do it. It just sounds painful.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I know right? It's suffering vs suffering. All I want is a means to end it I'm comfortable with so I can do something that might actually mean I don't have to do it (long story). No one helps because no one cares, they have their own problems. The reason I'm in this mess is because of relying on others, I have to sort it out myself but I'm too pathetic to do it.
 
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T

thechosenone

Member
Aug 29, 2019
9
I know right? It's suffering vs suffering. All I want is a means to end it I'm comfortable with so I can do something that might actually mean I don't have to do it (long story). No one helps because no one cares, they have their own problems. The reason I'm in this mess is because of relying on others, I have to sort it out myself but I'm too pathetic to do it.

I swear. Its so sad how literally people can just have so much control over your life. How you live, how you die. or IF you're allowed to die. It's sick. I didn't ask to be here, I tried all I could .. at least let me choose how I want to go! Suicide is not a means of right or wrong. It's just perspective.
 
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FF777

FF777

Death is a natural part of life..
Jul 21, 2019
60
You could try my favorite method: h2s (hydrogen sulfide)
You go to a couple of stores (probably a swimming pool store, and a gardening store) to get 2 ingredients, go home or in your car or some where, and mix both ingredients in to a bucket, pass out in a few breaths and then die a few minutes later..
That is the gist of it any way.. You can research about it if that sounds like an option you might want to try.. Pretty painless except the gas it creates will smell like complete ass, but you will be unconcious very quickly any way from how freakishly toxic it is..
 
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sanction

sanction

sanctioned
Mar 15, 2019
431
You could try my favorite method: h2s (hydrogen sulfide)
You go to a couple of stores (probably a swimming pool store, and a gardening store) to get 2 ingredients, go home or in your car or some where, and mix both ingredients in to a bucket, pass out in a few breaths and then die a few minutes later..
That is the gist of it any way.. You can research about it if that sounds like an option you might want to try.. Pretty painless except the gas it creates will smell like complete ass, but you will be unconcious very quickly any way from how freakishly toxic it is..

Seriously?? Never heard of this. Wouldn't this be a dream scenario/ method for most people?? How come this is not more known or popular? Do you mind sharing everything you may know about this method. Thank you
 
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FF777

FF777

Death is a natural part of life..
Jul 21, 2019
60
Do you mind sharing everything you may know about this method.
It was a method that become very popular in japan around 2008, and slowly the method spread to other regions in the world..

I'm really not sure why it isn't discussed more on this site.. Maybe because it is considered messy?.. I mean it does ruin the room or car that you do it in, but so what..

I have a .pdf file I can send you (or any one else) in PM if you want me to that has a bit more information on it..

You basically have to find 2 ingredients: One that will be your acid source, and one that will be your sulfur source.. My .pdf I have has lists of products you can get for both of the ingredients.. You just have to get one from the acid column and one from the sulfur column..

The acid source would be easy to get from any swimming pool store.. It will probably be called "muriatic acid" but it is just an other name for hydrochloric acid.. It is used to clean the sides of swimming pools (while the pool is empty of water)..
At that point you just need to find the sulfur ingredient.. You will probably go to garden stores (either in real life or online) for this ingredient.. The popular thing in the past to use for this has been a brand called Bonide, it is their lime-sulfer spray.. But I think I might have read some where that it might be hard to find now?.. If it is, you can just find some thing else, such as lime-sulfur spray for bonsai trees etc.. Or just look for a different brand of lime-sulfur spray as long as it has enough calcium-polysulfide in it..

So how do you know your acid source will work?.. Well it should probably contain at least 9.5% HCl (hydrochloric acid) which is how strong the toilet-bowl cleaner is in japan that they used.. If you use the muriatic acid from a swimming pool store, i think that should be 100%? I'm not sure but it should definitely be well over 9.5% I would think if you get that, so it should work fine..
But if you can't find that at a swimming pool store, you can look for a toilet-bowl cleaner called "The Works" which should contain around 15%-25% HCl, which is obviously more than 9.5% so it should work well, and The Works has been used many times in this ctb method as the acid ingredient..

So how do you know your sulfur source will work?.. I think you need to verify on the back of the bottle of what ever you get that it contains at least 20% calcium-polysulfide..

So I think that as long as your hydrochloric-acid is 9.5% or more, and your calcium-polysulfide is 20% or more, it should be sufficient..

It may sting your eyes to some degree so some people use goggles with this method, or you can just close your eyes if you want to right after you pour the 2 ingredients in to a bucket together.. It turns in to some kind of light-green crap and rises up, and smells strongly of rotten eggs and probably smells like the worst thing possible but, it should knock you out very quickly, with in a few breaths of that stuff.. And it is generally considered courteous to leave some warning signs posted on the doors of where ever you do it at to warn other people that there is fatal gas in there when they go try to find you..

Well any way, I hope some of you find this method convenient.. It is my favorite method, and I might be using it later this year (2019).. If you are reading this post from the future I'm probably already dead, rip my self, I was the coolest person I knew..
 
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Meretlein

Meretlein

Moderator
Feb 15, 2019
1,199
Have you thought about hanging? There is a megathread on here that you can look at. I can also pm you a video that is basically a step by step guide to a partial suspension hanging.
 
HGL91

HGL91

Warlock
Jul 2, 2019
720
I swear. Its so sad how literally people can just have so much control over your life. How you live, how you die. or IF you're allowed to die. It's sick. I didn't ask to be here, I tried all I could .. at least let me choose how I want to go! Suicide is not a means of right or wrong. It's just perspective.

So true. I hate when I read stories about couples over 70+ years old, and one helps the other die by suicide because they're suffering a terminal illness, and then the one that helps goes to prison for life. So fucked up. Can't even catch a break when you're old, so what benefits are there to being old?

Also, there's so many old people who are homeless or disabled, that it's not even a realistic dream for many to think, "Oh, I can retire at 62 and travel the world in my twilight years."

Seriously, why should I wait around to get old, lonely, and more psychologically fucked up?
 
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ralphnol

ralphnol

Member
Aug 25, 2019
61
I can relate to every word.
 
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