Pointlessabyss

Pointlessabyss

Impulse will takeover one day...
Sep 17, 2018
294
Needed an outlet so here it goes :

So for the last 2 weeks I have been trying to get back in routine, eating right, training, putting effort into work, trying to socialise ( still can't do that very well ) but overall I've been feeling pretty good, I always have my moments but I felt as if I've been able to brush them off. People have even said I've started to look better which was even more motivation.
But the last two days have been shit for no reason! Nothing has happened, but out of the blue my brain has switched into everything is fucked up, whats the point mode! Worst is missing out on sleep again as it goes into overdrive mode so staring at the ceiling it is for the next 8 hrs !

Reminds me of a lyrics from a song :

And when I'm up
It's better than ever
And when I'm down
I'm desperate

Blah fuck you brain ! Anyone know a decent surgeon to rewire it? Peace out!
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
This is the worst part - when you are trying your damnest to climb out of depression and doing everything and you get out of the blue bad days. It makes you feel like, "why am I trying so hard just to feel the same?!"

Almost like the treadmill suddenly starts going backwards. On the days like that I think you just have to try and acknowledge as early in the day as you can catch it that this day isn't going to be one of the "better" days and try and take it more gently. Nicer food, movie, cuddle the cat and tick it off the calendar.
 
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Pointlessabyss

Pointlessabyss

Impulse will takeover one day...
Sep 17, 2018
294
I try to ride the good days but also tend to cling onto the shit days... not through lack of trying not to!

I just want off of this carousel most days.
 
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J

JustAboutDone

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2019
3,532
I try to ride the good days but also tend to cling onto the shit days... not through lack of trying not to!

I just want off of this carousel most days.

That's exactly what's it's like - a merry-go-round!

Up and down round and round. Except I'm a bit optimistic someone will stop the ride, put some decent music on and I will be able to get off the white plastic horse and try my luck at some of the other fairground attractions life has to offer!
 
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Pointlessabyss

Pointlessabyss

Impulse will takeover one day...
Sep 17, 2018
294
Glad to see you still have hope your positivity is good around here :)

Unfortunatley I'm resigned to the fact I've tried most if not all of the rides I've wanted to. So I'm just waiting for the ride to breakdown beyond repair.
 
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