Hiding Sanctioned Suicide; have you ever been found out, or maybe... wanted to be?

[itsmeagain]

I've never seen a post like this before. What's the most risky place you've used Sanctioned Suicide? I've used it in class but make sure nobody can look over my shoulder, and pull it up on my phone sometimes. Has anyone ever found out, or have you maybe wanted to recommend this site to someone? If you could recommend it to anyone, who would it be, and what would you be afraid of?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I check this place anywhere, anytime, I can't be bothered by what people think. I've also recommended it to someone and they're currently a member. I feel like shit for it too. But I'm not the gatekeeper here either.

 

[MourningHeart]

Two days ago, my wife almost tried to suicide but didnt. At that evening, i went outside, using bus and metro just driving around and used Sanctioned Suicide in public everywhere the city the whole time, after having a break of several months. Because i didnt care anymore and i knew, noone would even pay attention to me.

Also, that was the same moment, when i talked to her, i almost recommended this site - because i did not want her to kill herself. And i thought, this site has enough members and arguments, how you can continue to live even if you want to die, no matter your reason - we have accumulated all reasons and feelings here.

But i didnt show her, because i did not want her to use this site instantly only for CTB methods. She was impulsive and regretted it the same moment herself and said she wouldnt even do it, she knew herself already.

 

[k75]

I regularly read it while in the waiting room for my therapist.

I shared it with my sister when I first found it, but I'm positive she's forgotten all about it.

 

[BridgeJumper]

Just got discharged from psych ward and I was reading it there :D

 

[randomz]

I basically have it always open in a tab in my browser at work using the incognito mode. Nobody has seen it yet and I hope this will stay the same.

 

[itsmeagain]

I check this place anywhere, anytime, I can't be bothered by what people think. I've also recommended it to someone and they're currently a member. I feel like shit for it too. But I'm not the gatekeeper here either.

Maybe it's what they need, maybe it isn't. I know it can be tricky recommending it to people. I personally, never would.

Two days ago, my wife almost tried to suicide but didnt. At that evening, i went outside, using bus and metro just driving around and used Sanctioned Suicide in public everywhere the city the whole time, after having a break of several months. Because i didnt care anymore and i knew, noone would even pay attention to me.

Also, that was the same moment, when i talked to her, i almost recommended this site - because i did not want her to kill herself. And i thought, this site has enough members and arguments, how you can continue to live even if you want to die, no matter your reason - we have accumulated all reasons and feelings here.

But i didnt show her, because i did not want her to use this site instantly only for CTB methods. She was impulsive and regretted it the same moment herself and said she wouldnt even do it, she knew herself already.

Personally, I think you made the right decision. I think that this place shouldn't be used like a method place. It's per the site's rules and also, you can check out books. I believe this place is for brooding, and moving either towards or away what you feel is best. When people are impulsive you can't tell. I'm thankful that your wife is OK, and I put my heart out to you.

 

[MrOptions]

Clear out your browser cache every time you visit the site.

 

[itsmeagain]

Just got discharged from psych ward and I was reading it there :D

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The psych ward. DAMN! I know what it feels like to be sent there so you know, this is the one time i'll say it: I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to be there and its hell

Just got discharged from psych ward and I was reading it there :D

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The psych ward. DAMN! I know what it feels like to be sent there so you know, this is the one time i'll say it: I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to be there and its hell. At least the one I went to. I don't want to run through all the details because I don't want to bore you, but if you'd want you could PM me and we could talk about it. How on earth were you allowed to scroll ANY internet while there?!?

 

[Broken Chimera]

I always have it open in Incognito, but I won't browse it in public unless I'm alone.

 

[Carina]

I've been on the site anywhere, in the car with my mom driving the car beside me (I'm 43, but still), as the doctor walked into the exam room, in a waiting room, in a store waiting for prescriptions, at work (aka now lol), doesn't matter, browsers clear history as soon as closed, and I use a specific browser to browse that most don't realize is a browser, that I will uninstall if needed (even on my phone, I don't use the built-in browser).

 

[itsmeagain]

Clear out your browser cache every time you visit the site.

Don't worry, incognito mode is the future :)

I've been on the site anywhere, in the car with my mom driving the car beside me (I'm 43, but still), as the doctor walked into the exam room, in a waiting room, in a store waiting for prescriptions, at work (aka now lol), doesn't matter, browsers clear history as soon as closed, and I use a specific browser to browse that most don't realize is a browser, that I will uninstall if needed (even on my phone, I don't use the built-in browser).

Very descreet, I may do that too!

I always have it open in Incognito, but I won't browse it in public unless I'm alone.

Incognito mode be saving the world

 

[S1mpleme]

I've never seen a post like this before. What's the most risky place you've used Sanctioned Suicide? I've used it in class but make sure nobody can look over my shoulder, and pull it up on my phone sometimes. Has anyone ever found out, or have you maybe wanted to recommend this site to someone? If you could recommend it to anyone, who would it be, and what would you be afraid of?

I don't hide it and there is no one I would recommend this site.

 

[itsmeagain]

I don't hide it and there is no one I would recommend this site.

Whynot hide it? Wouldn't you be worried that someone may find it and report your unwellness?

 

[Quarky00]

Not a problem for disabled people who live alone ;) Lol

 

[itsmeagain]

Not a problem for disabled people who live alone ;) Lol

Big hugs out to you. I understand that sometimes living alone can really kill you. I have a messy story about that...

 

[S1mpleme]

Whynot hide it? Wouldn't you be worried that someone may find it and report your unwellness?

Ah.. it would be so kind of them if there is anyone in this world that give a damn about my life, but unfortunately I don't have to worry that someone finds cause I don't have that someone.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm reading it now while in group therapy

 

[Quarky00]

Big hugs out to you. I understand that sometimes living alone can really kill you. I have a messy story about that...

I prefer alone, when shit gets real loneliness is not the prob ;) But I get that, and experienced emotions in the past. Interesting, feel free to share

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

I care not and read anywhere. I have it set to incognito with only face recognition. So it can't even be opened without me. I've read it with my wife sitting next to me or at an appointment. I have it on dark mode so it looks kinda like I'm on red.

 

[itsmeagain]

Ah.. it would be so kind of them if there is anyone in this world that give a damn about my life, but unfortunately I don't have to worry that someone finds cause I don't have that someone.

There are people on this website that care. I know it's not the same, but you have lots of hugs waiting for you on this site.

I care not and read anywhere. I have it set to incognito with only face recognition. So it can't even be opened without me. I've read it with my wife sitting next to me or at an appointment. I have it on dark mode so it looks kinda like I'm on red.

I would be somewhat worried someone close to me would see, and then I'd be in a psych ward. again.

I'm reading it now while in group therapy

It's good you're following through with therapy. You might miss something important, be sure to keep an ear out if you're good at multitasking.

 

[S1mpleme]

There are people on this website that care. I know it's not the same, but you have lots of hugs waiting for you on this site.

I would be somewhat worried someone close to me would see, and then I'd be in a psych ward. again.

It's good you're following through with therapy. You might miss something important, be sure to keep an ear out if you're good at multitasking.

You mean that yellow painted pixels on my screen?

 

[itsmeagain]

Big hugs out to you. I understand that sometimes living alone can really kill you. I have a messy story about that...

The story was that I checked myself in, and I was recommended it. I figured whatever it would take to get better. I figured there'd be therapy groups, there would be nice food and outside time and everything.

What I didn't and could never have seen was that we were herded, and treated like animals. They told us there would be discussion and therapy groups, but a lot of the time they didn't even care to provide us with what they promised. Almost like they'd forget the same way you'd forget to water a plant. "Oh, oh well." No, not even, just... They'd forget, and it wasn't a big deal.

There was one woman who treated us like normal. She brought in books for us other than the shitty books that they had on the shelf. Besides reading and a shared TV, there was nothing to do. I would literally... Literally walk circles around the fucking room talking to people like a 4th grade gym class until the sun went down and it was the most awful thing... There's so much more I need to take a break before I can describe the rest. PM me if you want to hear it.

You mean that yellow painted pixels on my screen?

I'm not quite sure what you mean, but I imagine that you're speaking about people's usernames?

 

[nbn]

Yesterday night, I dreamt of someone catching me while I was using this site. I was so frightened.

 

[itsmeagain]

Yesterday night, I dreamt of someone catching me while I was using this site. I was so frightened.

Do you want to talk about it?

 

[S1mpleme]

The story was that I checked myself in, and I was recommended it. I figured whatever it would take to get better. I figured there'd be therapy groups, there would be nice food and outside time and everything.

What I didn't and could never have seen was that we were herded, and treated like animals. They told us there would be discussion and therapy groups, but a lot of the time they didn't even care to provide us with what they promised. Almost like they'd forget the same way you'd forget to water a plant. "Oh, oh well." No, not even, just... They'd forget, and it wasn't a big deal.

There was one woman who treated us like normal. She brought in books for us other than the shitty books that they had on the shelf. Besides reading and a shared TV, there was nothing to do. I would literally... Literally walk circles around the fucking room talking to people like a 4th grade gym class until the sun went down and it was the most awful thing... There's so much more I need to take a break before I can describe the rest. PM me if you want to hear it.

I'm not quite sure what you mean, but I imagine that you're speaking about people's usernames?

I mean the yellow smile (hug) that you just left on my comment.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

I've never seen a post like this before. What's the most risky place you've used Sanctioned Suicide? I've used it in class but make sure nobody can look over my shoulder, and pull it up on my phone sometimes. Has anyone ever found out, or have you maybe wanted to recommend this site to someone? If you could recommend it to anyone, who would it be, and what would you be afraid of?

Lol I open it anywhere anytime, almost though. I open it on my phone and no one bothers to look at what you're doing. And it's hard to see what I'm doing on my phone so. However there are times you can't open it.

 

[nbn]

I think I was scrolling through the site in the University, and someone from my behind saw me using it. Something more happened,but I dont remember. A few days ago, I dreamt of someone killing me in a gun shooting game. It was like each person will be given a gun, and they can kill the other person.One lady shot me in the leg,and I fell down.Then she came to me.I told her to shoot me in the head,and she shot me in the head.I was so happy,but suddenly I woke up and realized that it was dream.

 

[Despondent]

There's been so many times that I've wanted to open up the site while I'm out and about in public. I don't only because I know it's risky. The other question is, has anyone told someone about this site, even if they weren't recommending it?
Do we keep this to ourselves because it could be taken down if people hear about it?
That's the reason that I choose not to use it in public at least. Because I know it's risky and I don't want this site to receive attention from the pro-lifers :/

 

[bananabear]

Personally don't really care anymore. I have SS on a separate browser app than most of my browsing so its always separate but ill still browse in public on transit etc. Have considered sharing the site with some internet friends but havent as of yet

Also, not SS specifically but I have Geo Stones book on the topic, and I know when I lived with my parents they had seen it and "moved it" (read:tried to throw it out)but bitch thats an expensive ass book, no way in hell its getting out of my possession. But mostly I REALLY hate sitting through peoples fake interest in my wellbeing.

More recently one of my friends cleaned my apartment (depression mess and living alone) and moved the book also, but no mention of it or awkward speaking whatsoever. I think I love her.